Should I have a come to Jesus talk with my friend about her dislike for public schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to learn to write shorter and in paragraphs. Too long. Didn’t read.

OP went to public school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked in Public Schools for a decade which is why I sent my children to Private. It seems like you are uncomfortable with the topic because it makes you question your choice to send your children to public school.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know that it's hard to be friends with someone who hates the schools that you send your kids to. Special education attorneys get exposed to those whom the district is not serving well. This skews her view. She is who she is. It would be great if she eventually recognizes that many children actually are being well-served.

Where is your data for this? ...

[Anonymous]

^^^you can’t just say it serves a the majority well without the data. I get that OP’e friend helps the minority, but where does it show that the rest of the kids who need an IEP or 504 are being served “well”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to learn to write shorter and in paragraphs. Too long. Didn’t read.

OP went to public school.

+1

Or maybe OP IS "the friend", and her post is a clever anti-public school campaign... If so, well done, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, I have a friend who is a Special education attorney. We met years ago through a mutual friend, as we were both invited to her bookclub event. Anyways, I have always admired my friend for being outspoken and passionate. If I have to admit, I was also glad to have someone who could help us if we ever needed any legal help with school. Luckily we haven’t had to, although I know a few moms we network with in the bookclub group we have consulted her. My friend’s kids go to a private school. She doesn’t announce it but her loath for public schools is very apparent if ANY topic on education is brought up. The only reason she even mentioned they don’t attend public schools is because someone new to the group asked her if it’s weird that she helps fight against schools that her kids attend and she quipped, “they don’t!” My kids attend a top rated public school. While, I know years ago it made changes because of complaints filed by parents, the school has always been ranked high in our state. You can’t mention rankings when we get together without my friend stating that they get the rank because of fraud and of course she has to bring in the lawsuit that occurred. Basically, the lawsuit made the school change the reading curriculum, as it wasn’t effective for kids with dyslexia. She will go on rants and basically I’ve started warning my unaware mom friends who meet her to not being up any topic about school because she will go all out about how terrible public schools are. I do not want to lose our friendship and I admire what she does. She does a lot of pro bono cases and helps parents have a fight against the school if their kids’ needs aren’t being met, but I am also over here thinking she knows better. I get that her bias is in fighting public schools all day, but shouldn’t she be more cognizant about what she says if she knows most of her friends don’t send their kids to private schools? We’re from an area where top schools are public so a lot of good suburbs around here. She says unless they too change the reading curriculum within those highly ranked districts, they’re as crappy as the one where I live, because kids with dyslexia’s needs are not being met. She said if you went to really close the gap, find a way to help the majority and not just some kids. Anyways, how do I bring up that there is a time and place and if someone’s utopia of a school district is and location is a public school -even with its flaws, a good public, to just let us have our day ?..I don’t want her to always correct people and make it known how awful their suburb is because they don’t help all kids. That’s life. Life isn’t fair.

So, this is also the district you attended, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in Public Schools for a decade which is why I sent my children to Private. It seems like you are uncomfortable with the topic because it makes you question your choice to send your children to public school.

This

Same here.

[Anonymous]

A “top public school district” is as exclusive as a private school anyway. You’re a hypocrite.

[Anonymous]

I grew up going to public schools and hate the public schools here (FCPS). They are overcrowded and institutional, and the elementary school curriculum ignores grammar and punctuation. I could go on.

But my concerns are petty when compared with what my friend with a SN child has gone through with FCPS. Her elementary-aged child has been placed in a seclusion room and been physically restrained. It has been hell. My friend had to pull her child out and homeschool.

In short, you have NO IDEA what your special needs advocate friend has seen the "good" public schools do. None. I would not have known about FCPS's seclusion and restraint practices--which are the subject of a current lawsuit--had my friend's lovely, kind child not gone through this.

https://www.npr.org/local/305/2019/10/09/768593229/parents-sue-fairfax-schools-over-alleged-student-seclusion-discrimination

[Anonymous]

1) Anyways isn’t a real word
2) Your friend has valid concerns about the inability of public schools to serve all their students adequately
3) You need to let this go because you sound crazier than your friend

[Anonymous]

I don’t know why everyone is criticizing the OP. That said, some people have the need to have their voice heard at all times. She seems to be a ‘center of attention” person and is unaware of who is in her path. I am not discounting problems of special needs children in the public school, it appears that her vocalization of this problem is not always appropriate. Her job isn’t the problem, it’s her personality. For me, these kind of people suck the energy out of the room. I would back away from my time spent with her. If she notices (probably won’t) tell he she comes on too strong and critical of YOUR choices.

[Anonymous]

Private schools (except privates specifically for kids with SNs) don’t even admit kids who have 504s/IEPs in public schools. Public is far from perfect but privates don’t even try.

[Anonymous]

I was a product of the Montgomery County Public Schools and I looked forward to sending my daughter to them. I wanted her to get the same first class education I did, leading to an Ivy League post-graduate experience. When we learned my daughter has a severe communication disorder, we also learned that (1) Montgomery County has no plan for such kids; (2) basically we are our child's teachers; (3) there is no classroom for my child; (4) my child can barely read at age 14.

OP, your friend is passionate about the deficits in the public schools because those deficits are very real. The fact that you don't experience them (and I never did) is PRIVILEGE.

That's right, PRIVILEGE.

[Anonymous]

I am dyslexic and my kid is dyslexic. I am profoundly grateful for people like OP’s friend. Without people like her nothing will ever change. That level of passion and commitment can be offputting to people who don’t care about the issue in the same way. OP, why not just tell your friend you find it hard to have your children’s school criticized all the time? That it hurts your feelings? You have no right to tell her how to behave around other people - you seem interested in keeping her from being vocal around other mom friends, and that is her business, not yours. But you should tell her how her single mindedness makes you feel, and see if she wants to try to talk about something else.

[Anonymous]

You are wrong and your friend is right.

the I've got mine attitude and who cares about other kids is insanely disordered.

You need to do some serious introspection and perhaps some therapy to understand why you are so incredibly selfish.

Did you also go to a very highly rated public school because being selfish is definitely a bi-product of segregation.