Why do so many people not do their spouse’s laundry?

[Anonymous]

Dh does most of the laundry but everyone has separate hampers. I have a ton of clothes and can go weeks without having to do it. Dh does his once a week for sure and puts it away within 10 min of it being out. He does the kids too and folds and hangs it pretty fast. I'm horrible at laundry and lazy about it so usually he ends up washing it and I slowly tackle the putting away. Cleaning lady does the sheets and towels and without her one of us does it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so odd to me! DH and I have separate hampers but I wash everything. I combine his darks and lights with mine. I wash and fold and leave his on the dresser.

How would you have enough for a load if just doing for one person? Do you just do small loads or mix your lights and darks? I’m so confused by this!

LOL you don't think single folks wash or have enough to wash or it is just something couples or folks with children do?

When I was a single person I often did half sized loads of laundry, because it would have taken me ages to have enough to do a full load and frankly I didn’t have enough clothes to last long enough to do a full load. Just seems inefficient to me to do laundry separately in a house with more than 1 person

This - I don't understand any of the above from an energy perspective - putting on a full load for each different type of cycle is much easier if you combine all the laundry.

I do mine and the kids’ together abdvrareky have trouble making a full load. Kids are 3 and 6 and can easily go thru two sets of clothes a a day (mud, food, paint, potty accident). If I want to do laundry and don’t have a full load I’ll do towels, hand towels, etc to balance. If those are already freshly washed I’ll throw in DH’s stuff. But usually I have plenty and he does his own. He also uses a different detergent than the rest of us - he likes scent while I only use free and clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This all seems insane to me! I would never do my husband’s laundry! What an antiquated, chauvinistic idea you all are perpetuating! He’s a grown man who needs to take responsibility for his own belongings — and that includes keeping himself, his space, his clothing and other items clean and orderly in our shared household. I already have the burden of most of the household tasks due to the fact that everyone assumes that women must take care of these types of chores. It’s a full-time job just to push back and make others who live in the household, including teenagers, take on these shared responsibilities! Why on earth would I need to take care of a fully-functioning adult’s clothing. How would that work anyway? I’d return home from a full day’s work or spend my weekend time lugging my full load of the week’s laundry, the household’s load of dirty sheets and towels, our 11-year-old son’s clothing...and my grown-a@@ husband’s heavy load as well! And what’s he doing? Watching TV, lounging, or waiting for his meal to be prepared by his dutiful wife!?! Is this the 1960s? Wow!!!

This is a stupid comment unless you know how else the household divides up their chores, from reading the comments there are various reasons why folks do or do not do their spouse's laundry! Maybe the spouse does all the cooking and cleaning, or whatever but doesn't mean it's the 1960s! You claiming that means you probably didn't read the comments WOW how chauvinist to assume that their partners don't do anything else

Yes! My husband does 95% of the cooking and 70% of the kitchen cleaning. He also sleeps with the baby 70% of the time... I do his laundry and take care of the other two kids... I think he does his fair share... I happily trade cooking for laundry. We are all different PP... I am sure my DH does his fair share

[Anonymous]

We have separate hampers and have never done each other's clothes, except when one of us is sick. We married in our late 20s and we're already used to washing our.own clothes.

[Anonymous]

So, when you folks make dinner, do you only make it for yourselves? I mean, he’s a grown man and can make his own food, right? And do you only take out the trash you made, or do you take out all the trash the household made?

There are economies of scale. It makes more sense for one person to do one whole chore and another to do another whole chore, rather than all of us just doing our own halves. This isn’t about philosophy or feminism or whatever someone’s sense of the 1960s was.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if age at time of marriage matters? I admit I'd be fussier about doing his clothes if we had led separate adult lives for 15 years or so. We married at 23 and I did get upset initially our first year. Now with 4 kids I just do it because he does the lawn, car care, the heavy lifting. But I have my kids sort, fold and put away. I also have less of an ew factor than if I met my husband now at our current age. So I do see the side of people who do it separately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, when you folks make dinner, do you only make it for yourselves? I mean, he’s a grown man and can make his own food, right? And do you only take out the trash you made, or do you take out all the trash the household made?

There are economies of scale. It makes more sense for one person to do one whole chore and another to do another whole chore, rather than all of us just doing our own halves. This isn’t about philosophy or feminism or whatever someone’s sense of the 1960s was.

I don’t want to do anyone else’s laundry and I don’t want anyone doing my laundry. So there’s that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do everyone’s laundry, but I usually don’t fold his. All those slippery running shirts drive me nuts.

Those should be washed in cold and hung dry. 😉

[Anonymous]

Because he’s lazy and gross and selfish.

[Anonymous]

So, when you folks make dinner, do you only make it for yourselves? I mean, he’s a grown man and can make his own food, right? And do you only take out the trash you made, or do you take out all the trash the household made?

There are economies of scale. It makes more sense for one person to do one whole chore and another to do another whole chore, rather than all of us just doing our own halves. This isn’t about philosophy or feminism or whatever someone’s sense of the 1960s was.

To me it’s more like making breakfast. We each have our own tastes, might want to eat at a different time, etc. Just makes more sense to do it ourselves the majority of the time. If we were hauling our clothes to a laundromat, I would understand the efficiency angle, but it really isn’t that much of a time savings to do it together when the machines are in our home. Between normal and workout clothes it’s easy enough to fill up a load (or if we’re short, we can combine our own with kids, or towels, etc.). Neither of us separate whites and darks.

No judgement for families who decide its easier to do it all together, but your efficiency angle is overblown. Doing two loads of laundry takes the same amount of time no matter if it’s two people doing it or one person doing it twice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

So, when you folks make dinner, do you only make it for yourselves? I mean, he’s a grown man and can make his own food, right? And do you only take out the trash you made, or do you take out all the trash the household made?

There are economies of scale. It makes more sense for one person to do one whole chore and another to do another whole chore, rather than all of us just doing our own halves. This isn’t about philosophy or feminism or whatever someone’s sense of the 1960s was.

To me it’s more like making breakfast. We each have our own tastes, might want to eat at a different time, etc. Just makes more sense to do it ourselves the majority of the time. If we were hauling our clothes to a laundromat, I would understand the efficiency angle, but it really isn’t that much of a time savings to do it together when the machines are in our home. Between normal and workout clothes it’s easy enough to fill up a load (or if we’re short, we can combine our own with kids, or towels, etc.). Neither of us separate whites and darks.

No judgement for families who decide its easier to do it all together, but your efficiency angle is overblown. Doing two loads of laundry takes the same amount of time no matter if it’s two people doing it or one person doing it twice.

Yes, this exactly! It just makes sense for us. And FWIW, I make dinner for the family and we usually do trash duties together.

[Anonymous]

Separate hampers and done separately. My clothes need to be washed and dried differently and I don’t expect him to know that one brand of my jeans need to be hung and the other can go in the dryer. I can do his, but he likes his folded differently.

[Anonymous]

In terms of not doing or doing my DH's laundry.

Well, yes, sometimes I am grossed out by his underwear. It really depends upon my feelings about him at the time. When I'm annoyed at him I am far less likely to do his laundry because I do find his dirty socks, underwear, shirts, pants, all of it, gross. So if I'm less in love with him then his is usually the last laundry I'll do (mine, sheets, towels, kitchen, then his). If I'm feeling more amenable, I'll comingle our laundry and do it together. I typically am home more than him, so I'm more likely to do the laundry.

The stay at home order has changed all that, though. He's more likely to do laundry than I am now because he has the time/is seeing me do it all the time/ feels guilty, for whatever reason. He's never been shy about doing more than his share of laundry, for which I have to applaud him.

My children are old enough to do their own laundry, so they do most of their laundry. We do have to remind them to do sheets weekly, and we do help move things from washer to dryer, just because we might be in the vicinity. They might also move ours over.

[Anonymous]

My husband has been doing his own laundry for what seems like forever. He has his own hamper and probably does his laundry weekly. He also drops off his own dry cleaning and dress shirts. He doesn’t consider doing his own laundry a burden, it’s just part of his list of chores.

[Anonymous]

OMG have you smelled a pair of used boxers lately? Esp after a sweaty sleep?

I don't know how you get the bacteria and smell out of that. I'm so helpless, he'll have to do it himself. What a man. He also vacuums the bathroom of all his curly hair 1-2x a week given how much accumulates. Otherwise everyone tracks it all over the house since it's like F'in velcro on socks, shoes, velcro.

infact with him working from home now due to COVID, he's going to start vacuuming the whole house every other day of all his hairs. They are blowing around like tumbleweed everywhere!

I'm wondering if the office cleaning ladies ever have a laugh or gag when dusting or vacuuming his office...