Why do so many people not do their spouse’s laundry?

[Anonymous]

In reading multiple threads I have heard a very common theme of people not doing their spouse’s laundry. What’s the thinking in that? Do you have separate hampers for each other’s clothes, or do you have to sort the dirty laundry to find yours? Do you find their laundry gross and that’s why you don’t do it? I do all the adult laundry in the house (the nanny does the kids’ laundry, well, usually she does, she’s not working now) and it would never occur to me to only do my half (or portion, not sure who has more but it may be my spouse). Granted it takes longer for me to fold it all and put it away than it would if I just did mine, but it seems inefficient to me to do it separately. So I’m just curious as to why this is a thing for so many people. Clearly my spouse can do laundry, we both did it before we got married, and they will sometimes do it now, but it literally never occurred to me to have us each only do our own.

[Anonymous]

It’s something that’s easy to take off my plate without any arguments or nagging. I just don’t do it, and my spouse can do it or not do it. It’s not like childcare, cooking, or mowing the lawn. I care about those things, and I will do them even if it’s technically my spouse’s responsibility.

[Anonymous]

DH and I have separate hampers. We just take care of our own stuff like we always have - never made the transition to doing it any other way and are both capable adults. Seems easier than him having to learn which of my clothes need to hang dry, or should be washed ion the gentle cycle (or vice versa.)

We will switch each other’s clothes or fold things for each other if we pull them out of the drier, or throw something in with our own stuff as needed. We take turns doing the kids clothes.

[Anonymous]

Funny thing for you to comment on when you don’t wash your kids clothes.

[Anonymous]

Because my wife is an adult and she can do her own laundry. If I did hers it’d take me twice as long to do and I already have plenty of chores to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have separate hampers. We just take care of our own stuff like we always have - never made the transition to doing it any other way and are both capable adults. Seems easier than him having to learn which of my clothes need to hang dry, or should be washed ion the gentle cycle (or vice versa.)

We will switch each other’s clothes or fold things for each other if we pull them out of the drier, or throw something in with our own stuff as needed. We take turns doing the kids clothes.

Same. We have separate hampers for each family member, + 1 for bath towels & sheets and 1 for kitchen towels & napkins.

[Anonymous]

We have separate hampers, yes. But we also do our laundry differently. My husband doesn’t use fabric softener, dries his clothes on a different setting, and even folds his clothes differently. Like another PP said, I wouldn’t trust him to know how to treat my different fabrics or delicates. Plus, it’s usually just something an adult handles on their own? Like, making their own breakfast or lunch...I don’t generally do that for my husband either.

[Anonymous]

I wash whatever is actually inside the hamper. DH's clothes prefer to live on the floor directly next to the open hamper basket.

[Anonymous]

I do my husband’s laundry. He sucks at laundry (and most elements of adult life) and it doesn’t take me that much longer to do his.

I knew before I married him. I remember the first time I smelled the towels in his bachelor apartment. It sucks, but you can’t have everything I guess.

[Anonymous]

We have separate hampers. The fabrics are different types and weights so they would have to washed anyway. I don’t wash my teen’s clothes either.

[Anonymous]

We did separate laundry until we had kids.

We just ... each of us did our laundry. Never gave it much thought. Nobody ever offered to do the other's laundry.

Pre-pandemic, I did all the household laundry.

When we got the shelter at home order, we renegotiated chores (in part because someone used to come and clean our house* and that's not practical when we are all home all day). So now my spouse does the laundry.

As soon as kids are old enough to do laundry, they can start doing their own.

*She is still getting paid.

[Anonymous]

My husband does ALL the family laundry. But that only came about because I was doing, objectively speaking, 90 percent of the household chores. I was so resentful and I hated the dynamic it was creating. Yes, we both work. So about 12 years ago he offered to do all the laundry and it has really helped even things out. He occasionally washes/dries something that shouldn’t be washed/dried but that’s a small price to pay for marital harmony.

My parents have been married for 50 years and they both do the laundry. But my mom keeps a separate hamper so my dad doesn’t destroy all her lovely clothes.

[Anonymous]

Because my spouse if convinced I ruin his clothes. And he ruins mine

[Anonymous]

We all do each other’s laundry - me, spouse and kids. Everyone knows which things need to be hung dry or washed in a lingerie bag or whatever. I do hold back certain more delicate items to do myself, usually by hand.

[Anonymous]

We have different hampers. Never occurred to me to do his.