Why do so many people not do their spouse’s laundry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny thing for you to comment on when you don’t wash your kids clothes.

Compartmentalized thinking. It's why OP answered the question she asks. She doesn't consciously make the connection, but mentions the pre-COVID practice of nanny washing her kids' clothes because she actually does understand some of the decisions driving division of laundry labor on a subconscious level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is very inefficient and wastes a lot of water and energy if every person is doing their own laundry- that is a ton of partial loads.

I combine all the clothes for all 5 of us, separate colors and fabrics and wash full loads of darks, whites, reds, jeans, etc. I can't imagine every person doing their own. That sounds ridiculous.

Sister! I do the same and it's like we speak different languages with all these people.

If you do only your own laundry, please respond:

1. Do you split your own load on colors/darks/whites/delicates?
2. If so, would you run your washer for 1/4 load of your (let's say) whites or wait until your get enough whites for the full load?

Are you controlling about everything or just laundry.

Controlling ? It is how you are supposed to do laundry to get the most longevity and best wear out of your clothes. You wash like colors together, you wash whites on hot, darks on cool, you separate heavy bulky items such as jeans and towels from lighter delicate fabrics. Did no one ever teach you how to do laundry? Or maybe you live in yoga pants and ratty T-shirts’ or some other variation of athleisure and just don’t care.

Admit it, you also redo the dishwasher because your family "doesn't do it right".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
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(the nanny does the kids’ laundry, well, usually she does, she’s not working now)

Granted it takes longer for me to fold it all and put it away than it would if I just did mine, but it seems inefficient to me to do it separately.

I find it funny that you don't do your kids' laundry and why you care about anyone else's laundry duty.

The big question to you is why don't you do your kids' laundry? Why wouldn't it occur to you to do it?

I don't do my kids' laundry because it takes a lot of time, not because it wouldn't occur to me to do it.
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So I choose to spend my time, during normal times, doing things other than my kids' laundry. I'm not sure why that bothers you so much. And I didn't judge people who don't do their spouse's laundry - I literally just asked why some people don't do it.

OP you answered your own question.

It takes a long time.

There are other considerations like preferences about how clothes are handled and privacy. But the biggest reason is that adding on another person’s laundry to your responsibilities takes a long time. It’s the reason you don’t do your kids laundry.

Your point doesn't make sense. Mowing the lawn also takes time. So does vacuuming. Does everyone in your house vacuum their own rooms? In our house, different people do different things. I do laundry. Yes, it takes me more time to do my husband's laundry, but it would also take me the same amount of time if I did some of the stuff he does. So we each spend the same amount of time doing things for the family. One of mine just happens to be laundry. He actually spend more time doing house stuff, probably. The laundry takes a while but I can do it when I want and fold it while watching TV. You can't watch TV while walking the dogs, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, etc. So I probably have the better deal.

Your examples are weird OP. Mowing the lawn, dinner, cleaning common areas are things that benefit everyone in the household. There's no element of privacy involved in any of those examples.

And to answer your question, yes, my children are each in charge of cleaning their own rooms, and that includes vaccuming. They share a bathroom, so they take turns cleaning it. I don't make the children clean the master bathroom because its a private space for myself and my husband. Just like each person's underwear is private and should be handled by each family member.

It's interesting to me that you are jumping through hoops to explain why you can't do your children's laundry, and yet when people agree and say that's the same reason they don't do their spouse's laundry, you say "THAT MAKES NO SENSE!" Talk about cognitive dissonance!

You are the one who doesn’t seem to understand. If time is the issue, then why does it matter who does their spouse’s laundry if they each do the same amount of hours of work around the house?

[Anonymous]

Haven’t read other posts. Because he’s a grown man (baby). I’m not touching his stinky skid mark stained man panties and stuff

[Anonymous]

Because he does 99.8% of the laundry in our house. He usually does a load a day (jeans, whites, colors, towels/sheets, my scrubs) and has for about 16 of our 17 years of marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t read other posts. Because he’s a grown man (baby). I’m not touching his stinky skid mark stained man panties and stuff

A lot of you seem to have disgusting husbands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
.
.
(the nanny does the kids’ laundry, well, usually she does, she’s not working now)

Granted it takes longer for me to fold it all and put it away than it would if I just did mine, but it seems inefficient to me to do it separately.

I find it funny that you don't do your kids' laundry and why you care about anyone else's laundry duty.

The big question to you is why don't you do your kids' laundry? Why wouldn't it occur to you to do it?

I don't do my kids' laundry because it takes a lot of time, not because it wouldn't occur to me to do it.
.
.
So I choose to spend my time, during normal times, doing things other than my kids' laundry. I'm not sure why that bothers you so much. And I didn't judge people who don't do their spouse's laundry - I literally just asked why some people don't do it.

OP you answered your own question.

It takes a long time.

There are other considerations like preferences about how clothes are handled and privacy. But the biggest reason is that adding on another person’s laundry to your responsibilities takes a long time. It’s the reason you don’t do your kids laundry.

Your point doesn't make sense. Mowing the lawn also takes time. So does vacuuming. Does everyone in your house vacuum their own rooms? In our house, different people do different things. I do laundry. Yes, it takes me more time to do my husband's laundry, but it would also take me the same amount of time if I did some of the stuff he does. So we each spend the same amount of time doing things for the family. One of mine just happens to be laundry. He actually spend more time doing house stuff, probably. The laundry takes a while but I can do it when I want and fold it while watching TV. You can't watch TV while walking the dogs, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, etc. So I probably have the better deal.

Your examples are weird OP. Mowing the lawn, dinner, cleaning common areas are things that benefit everyone in the household. There's no element of privacy involved in any of those examples.

And to answer your question, yes, my children are each in charge of cleaning their own rooms, and that includes vaccuming. They share a bathroom, so they take turns cleaning it. I don't make the children clean the master bathroom because its a private space for myself and my husband. Just like each person's underwear is private and should be handled by each family member.

It's interesting to me that you are jumping through hoops to explain why you can't do your children's laundry, and yet when people agree and say that's the same reason they don't do their spouse's laundry, you say "THAT MAKES NO SENSE!" Talk about cognitive dissonance!

You are the one who doesn’t seem to understand. If time is the issue, then why does it matter who does their spouse’s laundry if they each do the same amount of hours of work around the house?

OP, re-read your posts about your children’s laundry.

“It takes a lot of time”

“That’s not how I choose how to spend my time.”

And many other reasons. That’s why. Often it makes most sense to do our own personal tasks. Laundry is one of those tasks. Kind of like it makes most sense for the kids to clean their own bedrooms. I suppose I could assign one child to clean all the bedrooms and one child to do all the laundry, but that wouldn’t make sense would it? Each kid has preferences about how they want their own room, Etc.