Why do so many people not do their spouse’s laundry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is very inefficient and wastes a lot of water and energy if every person is doing their own laundry- that is a ton of partial loads.

I combine all the clothes for all 5 of us, separate colors and fabrics and wash full loads of darks, whites, reds, jeans, etc. I can't imagine every person doing their own. That sounds ridiculous.

Sister! I do the same and it's like we speak different languages with all these people.

If you do only your own laundry, please respond:

1. Do you split your own load on colors/darks/whites/delicates?
2. If so, would you run your washer for 1/4 load of your (let's say) whites or wait until your get enough whites for the full load?

My question to you:

Who has time for all this crap????

I wash one load of clothes per week usually. If I have any whites, I wash them with my sheets. That’s it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is very inefficient and wastes a lot of water and energy if every person is doing their own laundry- that is a ton of partial loads.

I combine all the clothes for all 5 of us, separate colors and fabrics and wash full loads of darks, whites, reds, jeans, etc. I can't imagine every person doing their own. That sounds ridiculous.

Sister! I do the same and it's like we speak different languages with all these people.

If you do only your own laundry, please respond:

1. Do you split your own load on colors/darks/whites/delicates?
2. If so, would you run your washer for 1/4 load of your (let's say) whites or wait until your get enough whites for the full load?

My question to you:

Who has time for all this crap????

I wash one load of clothes per week usually. If I have any whites, I wash them with my sheets. That’s it.

Control freaks.

They probably restock the dishwasher too since their H didn’t “do it right”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is very inefficient and wastes a lot of water and energy if every person is doing their own laundry- that is a ton of partial loads.

I combine all the clothes for all 5 of us, separate colors and fabrics and wash full loads of darks, whites, reds, jeans, etc. I can't imagine every person doing their own. That sounds ridiculous.

Sister! I do the same and it's like we speak different languages with all these people.

If you do only your own laundry, please respond:

1. Do you split your own load on colors/darks/whites/delicates?
2. If so, would you run your washer for 1/4 load of your (let's say) whites or wait until your get enough whites for the full load?

My question to you:

Who has time for all this crap????

I wash one load of clothes per week usually. If I have any whites, I wash them with my sheets. That’s it.

Same. But usually every 2 weeks. I have a good supply of underwear

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP, you seem really triggered by this. We don’t do each other’s laundry because we consider it part of personal hygiene. Some things are better kept private.

And as soon as our kids are old enough, they’re also in charge of their own laundry. It’s about personal responsibility, hygiene and independence.

How so?

Well, you wrote a novel about why you don’t do your kids laundry and you seem really offended that people called you out on it.

Yet somehow you don’t understand the same reason you don’t want to take on another person’s (your child) laundry is the same reason other people don’t want to take on their spouses laundry. It’s a weird disconnect.

Sorry my parenthetical was too long for you. Didn’t realize I had written a “novel” about not doing my kids’ laundry. I’m not remotely offended that anyone cares one way or another whether or not I do my kids’ laundry. I don’t see the relevance in it to my original question, which, again, wasn’t judgmental and yet plenty of people seemed to get all huffy about it.

The time argument still doesn’t make sense. My husband and I each do, say, 10 hours of housework a week. 2 of my hours are laundry. 2 of his hours are yard work. If I didn’t do his laundry then he would do more housework than I do, and we try to keep it even, although lately he’s been doing more because my job has been more demanding. I really can’t understand why you have such a hard time understanding that. If I did his laundry and he did nothing, I’d be pissed and probably wouldn’t do it. So while many of the other arguments make sense, the time one does not unless you all have husbands who don’t help around the house.

[Anonymous]

It would literally never occur to me to do my husband’s laundry. He has his own hamper and I have mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is very inefficient and wastes a lot of water and energy if every person is doing their own laundry- that is a ton of partial loads.

I combine all the clothes for all 5 of us, separate colors and fabrics and wash full loads of darks, whites, reds, jeans, etc. I can't imagine every person doing their own. That sounds ridiculous.

Sister! I do the same and it's like we speak different languages with all these people.

If you do only your own laundry, please respond:

1. Do you split your own load on colors/darks/whites/delicates?
2. If so, would you run your washer for 1/4 load of your (let's say) whites or wait until your get enough whites for the full load?

Are you controlling about everything or just laundry.

Controlling ? It is how you are supposed to do laundry to get the most longevity and best wear out of your clothes. You wash like colors together, you wash whites on hot, darks on cool, you separate heavy bulky items such as jeans and towels from lighter delicate fabrics. Did no one ever teach you how to do laundry? Or maybe you live in yoga pants and ratty T-shirts’ or some other variation of athleisure and just don’t care.

[Anonymous]

He wouldn’t even put his cleaned, folded laundry into his drawers in the dresser so I stopped cleaning and folding them entirely. As his usually MO he cleans them wrong or shrinks them or rips all the elbows and just tosses them and orders more. Just like his mom taught him!

[Anonymous]

I have realized after reading the posts here that I am quite an organized person as far as laundry is concerned.

All my bed linen, bath mats, towels and kitchen towels are white, so that I can wash them separately in the hottest water and use oxyclean etc. I wash undies and socks in a seperate drawer washer because I do not want to wash the most germy things with regular clothes. I have seperate load for fleece, whites, colored, comforters, wool and cleaning towels etc.

We have an LG twinwash dual washer and an amazing dryer that also steams and freshens cloths. Dirty clothes get sorted in different hampers and they get folded in same (after the hamper is wiped down!). Two loads get washed every single day, folded and put away.. One thing I love to starch and iron are pillow cases and flat sheets. I love, love, love crispy clean, bright white, freshly made beds. Oh, since we have solar panels, I don't worry about the use of energy for washing.

[Anonymous]

I do my husband's laundry when I am doing mine however if he needs something washed and I'm busy or working he will do it himself.

I wash all the towels and bed linen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is very inefficient and wastes a lot of water and energy if every person is doing their own laundry- that is a ton of partial loads.

I combine all the clothes for all 5 of us, separate colors and fabrics and wash full loads of darks, whites, reds, jeans, etc. I can't imagine every person doing their own. That sounds ridiculous.

Sister! I do the same and it's like we speak different languages with all these people.

If you do only your own laundry, please respond:

1. Do you split your own load on colors/darks/whites/delicates?
2. If so, would you run your washer for 1/4 load of your (let's say) whites or wait until your get enough whites for the full load?

Are you controlling about everything or just laundry.

Controlling ? It is how you are supposed to do laundry to get the most longevity and best wear out of your clothes. You wash like colors together, you wash whites on hot, darks on cool, you separate heavy bulky items such as jeans and towels from lighter delicate fabrics. Did no one ever teach you how to do laundry? Or maybe you live in yoga pants and ratty T-shirts’ or some other variation of athleisure and just don’t care.

I just dump everything in and use cold water detergent. The hot/warm water is what causes excessive wear and bleeding of colors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have to let the Wookie win.

http://parenthacks.com/2011/08/save-time-while-folding-laundry-fold-it-inside-out.html

I just don't wash my kids' clothes until they turn them the right way. They're too young to run the washing machine and dryer and they are terrible folders, but they can turn the clothes right side out.

[Anonymous]

It all goes in on cold. The end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
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(the nanny does the kids’ laundry, well, usually she does, she’s not working now)

Granted it takes longer for me to fold it all and put it away than it would if I just did mine, but it seems inefficient to me to do it separately.

I find it funny that you don't do your kids' laundry and why you care about anyone else's laundry duty.

The big question to you is why don't you do your kids' laundry? Why wouldn't it occur to you to do it?

I don't do my kids' laundry because it takes a lot of time, not because it wouldn't occur to me to do it.
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So I choose to spend my time, during normal times, doing things other than my kids' laundry. I'm not sure why that bothers you so much. And I didn't judge people who don't do their spouse's laundry - I literally just asked why some people don't do it.

OP you answered your own question.

It takes a long time.

There are other considerations like preferences about how clothes are handled and privacy. But the biggest reason is that adding on another person’s laundry to your responsibilities takes a long time. It’s the reason you don’t do your kids laundry.

Your point doesn't make sense. Mowing the lawn also takes time. So does vacuuming. Does everyone in your house vacuum their own rooms? In our house, different people do different things. I do laundry. Yes, it takes me more time to do my husband's laundry, but it would also take me the same amount of time if I did some of the stuff he does. So we each spend the same amount of time doing things for the family. One of mine just happens to be laundry. He actually spend more time doing house stuff, probably. The laundry takes a while but I can do it when I want and fold it while watching TV. You can't watch TV while walking the dogs, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, etc. So I probably have the better deal.

Your examples are weird OP. Mowing the lawn, dinner, cleaning common areas are things that benefit everyone in the household. There's no element of privacy involved in any of those examples.

And to answer your question, yes, my children are each in charge of cleaning their own rooms, and that includes vaccuming. They share a bathroom, so they take turns cleaning it. I don't make the children clean the master bathroom because its a private space for myself and my husband. Just like each person's underwear is private and should be handled by each family member.

It's interesting to me that you are jumping through hoops to explain why you can't do your children's laundry, and yet when people agree and say that's the same reason they don't do their spouse's laundry, you say "THAT MAKES NO SENSE!" Talk about cognitive dissonance!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have realized after reading the posts here that I am quite an organized person as far as laundry is concerned.

All my bed linen, bath mats, towels and kitchen towels are white, so that I can wash them separately in the hottest water and use oxyclean etc. I wash undies and socks in a seperate drawer washer because I do not want to wash the most germy things with regular clothes. I have seperate load for fleece, whites, colored, comforters, wool and cleaning towels etc.

We have an LG twinwash dual washer and an amazing dryer that also steams and freshens cloths. Dirty clothes get sorted in different hampers and they get folded in same (after the hamper is wiped down!). Two loads get washed every single day, folded and put away.. One thing I love to starch and iron are pillow cases and flat sheets. I love, love, love crispy clean, bright white, freshly made beds. Oh, since we have solar panels, I don't worry about the use of energy for washing.

And do you use rain barrels for the water supply?

Two loads every single day? How many people are in your family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In reading multiple threads I have heard a very common theme of people not doing their spouse’s laundry. What’s the thinking in that? Do you have separate hampers for each other’s clothes, or do you have to sort the dirty laundry to find yours? Do you find their laundry gross and that’s why you don’t do it? I do all the adult laundry in the house (the nanny does the kids’ laundry, well, usually she does, she’s not working now) and it would never occur to me to only do my half (or portion, not sure who has more but it may be my spouse). Granted it takes longer for me to fold it all and put it away than it would if I just did mine, but it seems inefficient to me to do it separately. So I’m just curious as to why this is a thing for so many people. Clearly my spouse can do laundry, we both did it before we got married, and they will sometimes do it now, but it literally never occurred to me to have us each only do our own.

I find it funny that you don't do your kids' laundry and why you care about anyone else's laundry duty.

The big question to you is why don't you do your kids' laundry? Why wouldn't it occur to you to do it?

I don't know why people are jumping on OP for not doing her kids' laundry. Pre-pandemic, I didn't either because it's part of the nanny's job description to do it.

DH and I have one hamper and I've always done both of our laundry. I sort, wash and fold, but don't put his away. He does all ironing.