Please let me shamelessly brag here: I am so happy I only have 1 child!

[Anonymous]

My younger child is honestly so much easier and more joyful than my older child and actually makes my older child better too- I watch them talk about friendships and problems together and give each other advice. Only dealing with The one older child would be such a slog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep forgetting how expensive it is with 2+.
Told my friend about a cheap camp for spring break - she reminded me she had to pay a lot for 2 kids.
Now I see a topic where parents won’t shell out money for assigned seats on airplane because the family is so large.
It is so, so easy to have only one, especially when they are 9+ yo.
I might of course get my karma when he is a teen but for now I just enjoy it so much.
Thank you for listening! I can’t say that in real life as my friends all have 2.

I'm glad you're happy, but it seems weird to focus on the money. I doubt on your deathbed you will care at all about how much money you saved on camps and airline seats.

And the only child will have to deal with aging parents and death and probate on their own.

That's what I always think when I meet families with one child. Sucks for that kid to have to shoulder aging parent issues alone.

I feel sorry for your kids that you are selfish to think they all must care for you in old age. You will be in for a big surprise.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a really weird thread.

OP, are you the poster who's always trying to influence everyone else to either have no children or only one child?

What's with your obsession on number of children anyway?

No no I only posted this one thread re: number of kids.
I don’t care how many others have, I just can’t share my joy irl and posted here lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep forgetting how expensive it is with 2+.
Told my friend about a cheap camp for spring break - she reminded me she had to pay a lot for 2 kids.
Now I see a topic where parents won’t shell out money for assigned seats on airplane because the family is so large.
It is so, so easy to have only one, especially when they are 9+ yo.
I might of course get my karma when he is a teen but for now I just enjoy it so much.
Thank you for listening! I can’t say that in real life as my friends all have 2.

I'm glad you're happy, but it seems weird to focus on the money. I doubt on your deathbed you will care at all about how much money you saved on camps and airline seats.

And the only child will have to deal with aging parents and death and probate on their own.

Not if their parents plan well and put everything into a trust. Plus, your kids will likely have a spouse and kids of their own so they aren't exactly alone.

+1 my DD is an only and is set for life already at the age of 5. She has a trust in her own name with property and assets. We could have more kids but are happy with our one. We will never be a financial burden to her and I am anti-clutter and hoarding so there will be no tedious clean out task for her when we kick the bucket.

Yea well OP obviously isn't swimming in money so this might not be so easy for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep forgetting how expensive it is with 2+.
Told my friend about a cheap camp for spring break - she reminded me she had to pay a lot for 2 kids.
Now I see a topic where parents won’t shell out money for assigned seats on airplane because the family is so large.
It is so, so easy to have only one, especially when they are 9+ yo.
I might of course get my karma when he is a teen but for now I just enjoy it so much.
Thank you for listening! I can’t say that in real life as my friends all have 2.

I'm glad you're happy, but it seems weird to focus on the money. I doubt on your deathbed you will care at all about how much money you saved on camps and airline seats.

And the only child will have to deal with aging parents and death and probate on their own.

This can be a BLESSING. I'm watching the Boomers squabble over co-executor status right now and wondering if they're going to end up on Dateline it's so contentious.

This! And elder care usually falls on just one sibling as the other siblings refuse to help and just bail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh...my kids all don't like "only" children. Say they can tell right off who is and they are entitled, think the world revolves around them, and are unable to share. So good luck

I can see you brought up your kids without any prejudice, lol
It’s ok, my only child probably wouldn’t want them as friends anyway

[Anonymous]

Only children are weird. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep forgetting how expensive it is with 2+.
Told my friend about a cheap camp for spring break - she reminded me she had to pay a lot for 2 kids.
Now I see a topic where parents won’t shell out money for assigned seats on airplane because the family is so large.
It is so, so easy to have only one, especially when they are 9+ yo.
I might of course get my karma when he is a teen but for now I just enjoy it so much.
Thank you for listening! I can’t say that in real life as my friends all have 2.

I'm glad you're happy, but it seems weird to focus on the money. I doubt on your deathbed you will care at all about how much money you saved on camps and airline seats.

And the only child will have to deal with aging parents and death and probate on their own.

This can be a BLESSING. I'm watching the Boomers squabble over co-executor status right now and wondering if they're going to end up on Dateline it's so contentious.

This! And elder care usually falls on just one sibling as the other siblings refuse to help and just bail.

Exactly- 4 kids and the breakdown for a decade was 95%, 5%, 0%, 0%. So much for all that help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep forgetting how expensive it is with 2+.
Told my friend about a cheap camp for spring break - she reminded me she had to pay a lot for 2 kids.
Now I see a topic where parents won’t shell out money for assigned seats on airplane because the family is so large.
It is so, so easy to have only one, especially when they are 9+ yo.
I might of course get my karma when he is a teen but for now I just enjoy it so much.
Thank you for listening! I can’t say that in real life as my friends all have 2.

I'm glad you're happy, but it seems weird to focus on the money. I doubt on your deathbed you will care at all about how much money you saved on camps and airline seats.

And the only child will have to deal with aging parents and death and probate on their own.

Not if their parents plan well and put everything into a trust. Plus, your kids will likely have a spouse and kids of their own so they aren't exactly alone.

+1 my DD is an only and is set for life already at the age of 5. She has a trust in her own name with property and assets. We could have more kids but are happy with our one. We will never be a financial burden to her and I am anti-clutter and hoarding so there will be no tedious clean out task for her when we kick the bucket.

That’s truly great.

But the flip side is she will be alone after her parents die. Maybe she’ll marry, maybe she won’t. Maybe her husband will have a big family?

As one of 4 who has 4 kids, I’m always struck by these posts on dcum since they always focus on money. Weird, and kinda gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep forgetting how expensive it is with 2+.
Told my friend about a cheap camp for spring break - she reminded me she had to pay a lot for 2 kids.
Now I see a topic where parents won’t shell out money for assigned seats on airplane because the family is so large.
It is so, so easy to have only one, especially when they are 9+ yo.
I might of course get my karma when he is a teen but for now I just enjoy it so much.
Thank you for listening! I can’t say that in real life as my friends all have 2.

I'm glad you're happy, but it seems weird to focus on the money. I doubt on your deathbed you will care at all about how much money you saved on camps and airline seats.

Nah, it’s just the two recent experiences.

[Anonymous]

Aww, I’m glad you are happy. We should all be happy with our families!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, DITTO.

Grew up in a family with 4 kids. Never felt like I had much 1:1 time with either of my parents. As adults, my siblings aren't even close.

LOVE that my kid won't miss out on a close relationship with me & my husband.

Also, more kids = more stress. We are living the good life in our house. Everything is so easy!

Sounds like you had a generally shitty upbringing with generally shitty and unfeeling people including yourself, all having little to do with the size of your family. That your siblings aren't close as adults speaks volumes.

I don't really understand how this makes me a shitty person. Sorry if I struck a nerve though!

You didn't strike a nerve at all. I'm fine. I just think you need to reflect on why you felt like you had little time with your parents and that as adults you're not close to your siblings. That is simply not typical among families your size, and might say more about the people in the family than the size of it. That's all.

Np. From what I have seen it is very typical. Lots of dysfunctional large families with siblings that are estranged. Perhaps it’s the stress of not enough resources to provide for the kids properly. Something went wrong.

[Anonymous]

I'm happy for you, OP, if you are in fact happy. But honestly, your post strikes me as someone who has continuously tried to justify her decision to have one child (to herself and others) and secretly is worried she should have had more. Ticking off monetary reasons is just strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Life circumstances led me to have only one child. And DH passed away. So it is just the two of us. We do travel a lot. I have a friend with 3 kids and she seems to get irritated that DD and I are able to go so many places/do so many things. Well it is much easier to travel with 2 than 5. And that was her choice to have 3 kids. On the flip side, sometimes I envy her -- having that large family and a husband. So it works both ways....

What is there to envy in a big family? I bet they can never find a restaurant they like or agree on a vacation plan or something... also, can she even get a job? Childcare is so expensive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, DITTO.

Grew up in a family with 4 kids. Never felt like I had much 1:1 time with either of my parents. As adults, my siblings aren't even close.

LOVE that my kid won't miss out on a close relationship with me & my husband.

Also, more kids = more stress. We are living the good life in our house. Everything is so easy!

Sounds like you had a generally shitty upbringing with generally shitty and unfeeling people including yourself, all having little to do with the size of your family. That your siblings aren't close as adults speaks volumes.

eh, the reality is that it's hard to make one on one time with each of your kids when you have 4 kids. That doesn't make you a crappy parent, it's just the reality of your life.

Trying to volunteer in 4 different classrooms, go on 4 different field trips every year, plan 4 equal birthday parties, have kids in 4 different activities....is a lot harder than it is with smaller families. I grew up in a family with 4 kids and I rarely got one on one time with my parents. They were both working hard at their jobs, coming home and taking care of chores around the house. As kids, we were expected to pitch in and help out with the yard work, housework, cooking and laundry. The older kids often babysat the younger kids. We pitched in, helped out as needed - not a bad trait to have.

We were loved and cared for but no way did we get the individual attention from our parents that kids from smaller families get. We didn't have the opportunity for travel/extra curriculars, we didn't wear trendy clothes, we didn't go out to eat very often, new toys were birthday/Christmas ONLY. We did learn how to share, work as a team and do a lot with a little.

I am now the parent of 2 kids and it has been way easier for dh and I to give our kids individual attention. If I had to divide my time up between 4 kids, they would get less individual attention and they would each get less of the family's resources. Bigger families do get that interplay of sibling relationships and I think they tend to grow up very grounded.