Why do parents not even bother opening an evite?

[Anonymous]

I know the host can see when I’ve opened the evite so I won’t open it until I’m ready to respond (have access to family calendar and can check with DH whether there’s something tentative or that hasn’t made it onto the calendar yet). That said, I do open and respond on a timely manner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know the host can see when I’ve opened the evite so I won’t open it until I’m ready to respond (have access to family calendar and can check with DH whether there’s something tentative or that hasn’t made it onto the calendar yet). That said, I do open and respond on a timely manner.

This is exactly what I do if it doesnt go to spam. I have clicked "not junk" on evites when they go to that folder but they usually go there. I have missed a few due to that and I wrongly assumed we were not invited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I check my email like twice a week generally. But sometimes I have the flu for a month while one DD has walking pneumonia and DH just had knee surgery and the dog is dying and our 7 yr old is basically running the household for us. So we let a lot slide that month. Sue us.

Twice a week in 2020? How are you living? My sister is completely antisocial and never takes her kids to parties; she trashes invites without even looking at them. I accept everything and make them a priority.

I have to read enough email at work. I don’t want to read more emails after work.

Same. Also, I’m going to be real, the birthday party for the random kid who sits 2 table groups away from my kid is not high on my priority list.

It doesn't have to be high on your priority list to go to their party but you should still care about being courteous to the parents hosting the party and let them know whether you're coming or not!

[Anonymous]

^^this.
I always reply asap, b/c I know the people hosting are probably stressed out enough and it would help with accommodations. Plus it’s about my kid , it’s not about me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I check my email like twice a week generally. But sometimes I have the flu for a month while one DD has walking pneumonia and DH just had knee surgery and the dog is dying and our 7 yr old is basically running the household for us. So we let a lot slide that month. Sue us.

Twice a week in 2020? How are you living? My sister is completely antisocial and never takes her kids to parties; she trashes invites without even looking at them. I accept everything and make them a priority.

I have to read enough email at work. I don’t want to read more emails after work.

Same. Also, I’m going to be real, the birthday party for the random kid who sits 2 table groups away from my kid is not high on my priority list.

It doesn't have to be high on your priority list to go to their party but you should still care about being courteous to the parents hosting the party and let them know whether you're coming or not!

I was like that when the kids were little, now that they're older they have shifting sports schedules that aren't necessarily solidified more than a couple of weeks out. I respond when I know my response won't change

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I check my email like twice a week generally. But sometimes I have the flu for a month while one DD has walking pneumonia and DH just had knee surgery and the dog is dying and our 7 yr old is basically running the household for us. So we let a lot slide that month. Sue us.

I had to check the date on this and it's from 2020 but this is so eerily precisely what we went through too. And I did miss a damn evite for a very well liked kid.

[Anonymous]

Please realize that yours is not the only evite floating around. It's a constant barrage of kid parties. And many for families we don't even know.

[Anonymous]

TLR but can answer. We had a death in the family. A big time news/social/important death. After three days of hell getting family ready and dressed for the funeral, and after several days of grieving and trying to get post-funeral things right, and putting family on planes and straightening all the messes, I had a parent from our Private call me and berate me for not responding to a birthday party invite I had never seen. I was flabbergasted. I didn't know about said birthday. I guess it was in an email somewhere - along with the 600 other incoming condolence emails? I had no idea. I barely squeaked out "Well we had a death in the family, it WAS on the front page of the Wash. Post" when parent continued to berate me for not responding to evite or email. I tried to continue to explain that we had no idea of kid's birthday or party, but the dad just kept at it. I just kept saying "I'm sorry". What else can you do? Be better, be kinder. You have no idea what the other person is going through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because they’re overwhelmed, and it’s probably not about you. Some people get 200 emails a day they have to deal with, and they just can’t do it all.

Phooey! Overwhelmed with what? We all have jobs, children, and myriad responsibilities but this is not an excuse for being rude. Far too many people in this area are think only of themselves. If someone is sending my child/children an invitation, I know they need a count and I answer in a timely manner. It takes fewer than five minutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:TLR but can answer. We had a death in the family. A big time news/social/important death. After three days of hell getting family ready and dressed for the funeral, and after several days of grieving and trying to get post-funeral things right, and putting family on planes and straightening all the messes, I had a parent from our Private call me and berate me for not responding to a birthday party invite I had never seen. I was flabbergasted. I didn't know about said birthday. I guess it was in an email somewhere - along with the 600 other incoming condolence emails? I had no idea. I barely squeaked out "Well we had a death in the family, it WAS on the front page of the Wash. Post" when parent continued to berate me for not responding to evite or email. I tried to continue to explain that we had no idea of kid's birthday or party, but the dad just kept at it. I just kept saying "I'm sorry". What else can you do? Be better, be kinder. You have no idea what the other person is going through.

Most of us aren't as important/self important as you. Did you embalm the deceased? Did you dress the deceased. All you had to do was wear something dark and attend funeral.

[Anonymous]

Nobody cares about your party. Yours is one in a sea of invitations. Go ahead and count the people who have not RSVPd by your deadline as NOs. Move on with your life.

We got a paper invite from a classmate recently (we don’t know the family, the kids aren’t good friends but are in the same class). I promptly sent a nice text message saying I’m sorry she’d be missing the party, we were out of town that weekend. The other parent responded: OK

Like, not even a “Thank you for letting me know.” Even a thumbs up on the message to show it was read would have been better than “OK.” Clearly they were peeved that we had the audacity to have a family reunion

[Anonymous]

I realized a year ago that paperless post and evite emails get flagged by my gmail account for marketing emails and get moved to that directory from my primary one. I have tried so many ways to prevent this from happening and change settings but it still happens. I completely missed a couple birthday invites last year because of this and felt really bad about it so now I manually search paperless post and evite in my inbox on a weekly basis.

I’m assuming most parents who don’t open the invite have a similar email issue like going to spam.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares about your party. Yours is one in a sea of invitations. Go ahead and count the people who have not RSVPd by your deadline as NOs. Move on with your life.

We got a paper invite from a classmate recently (we don’t know the family, the kids aren’t good friends but are in the same class). I promptly sent a nice text message saying I’m sorry she’d be missing the party, we were out of town that weekend. The other parent responded: OK

Like, not even a “Thank you for letting me know.” Even a thumbs up on the message to show it was read would have been better than “OK.” Clearly they were peeved that we had the audacity to have a family reunion

You are reading way too much into a text, Lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I just sent out an evite for my other child’s birthday. I just realized that when you click on the link, you have to actually sign in to see the invitation. I have the app so I always just look there. So if parent is busy or forgot their log in or whatever, it would seem as they didn’t open the evite. I, myself, didn’t even know my evite log in. Password is saved on my computer and I have the app.

You have to log in because you created the evite. Those invited don't have to log in.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been using the flyer option for paperless post. You can text or email then from your personal email or number so it won’t go to spam. I hate evite - it keeps going to spam or doesn’t show up at all. For some reason, it also doesn’t always come up when I search my emails for “evite”. Sometimes I have to search the host’s name.