What’s the benefit of a long term relationship for men?

[Anonymous]

Lonely_Sojourner wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I think about the womanizing men sometimes I wonder why they need to “settle down”.

Their market value keeps increasing. If they are handsome and make good money, they can sleep with so many women and never have to endure a dead bedroom.

They can get companionship and validation through various friends with benefits type arrangements.

Why even put up with marriage?

That lifestyle eventually gets very, very empty.

+1

53 y/o widowed male with two healthy 401ks, high paying job, great house, in shape w/ no medical issues and I can certainly attest to the lonely lifestyle. I'd kill to be in a solid relationship again...

L_S

Why do you lie about your age when you have a screen name that tracks your posts? So odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Lonely_Sojourner wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I think about the womanizing men sometimes I wonder why they need to “settle down”.

Their market value keeps increasing. If they are handsome and make good money, they can sleep with so many women and never have to endure a dead bedroom.

They can get companionship and validation through various friends with benefits type arrangements.

Why even put up with marriage?

That lifestyle eventually gets very, very empty.

+1

53 y/o widowed male with two healthy 401ks, high paying job, great house, in shape w/ no medical issues and I can certainly attest to the lonely lifestyle. I'd kill to be in a solid relationship again...

L_S

But you've got no reason to remarry.

Unless you want that 35 year old Asian chick from the other thread, or something. She wants a tall white guy!

How do you know this guy is tall or white?

He posts all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I think about the womanizing men sometimes I wonder why they need to “settle down”.

Their market value keeps increasing. If they are handsome and make good money, they can sleep with so many women and never have to endure a dead bedroom.

They can get companionship and validation through various friends with benefits type arrangements.

Why even put up with marriage?

To produce legitimate children and have uninterrupted access to them.

"Legitimate" is an outdated concept and you don't really need marriage for either of these.

Marriage gives a better shot at it.

You’re off base. I married to please my wife, whose continued presence appealed to me. It wasn’t about kids, it wasn’t about some stupid thing like having my shirts pressed. It was about living with her on her terms.

Beta. This has got to be a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Statistically married men live longer and healthier lives than unmarried men. Now is that because they are married or those types tend to get married and take fewer risks. Don't know.

But married women live shorter, less healthy lives than their single counterparts.

I think the title should be what do women get out of it. Men I understand. Women are less clear to me.

Women used to get shelter, food, security in exchange for childbearing, independence. Now that everbing is an equal partnership? Women get he short end of the stick.

All things being equal
We both make $X
We both have degrees
We both want children

Unless we are adopting ...
Only ONE of us has the physical impairment of pregnancy for an entire year, sometimes two. Not to mention another 12 months offering a milky boob on demand. Then parenting defaults to us because kids prefer mom very often. It’s not equal. It’s at least 90 measurable days out of the workforce where we cannot produce income easily and contribute to 401k, make career moves, etc.

Yet. Everyone leverages something and brings something to the table, each relationship is different.

But in the old days, married women lived even shorter lives on average. The fact is in pure life expectancy, marriage strongly benefits men but seems to harm women. Being an older single woman is typically a marker of longer life expectancy, while the opposite.is true for men.

Quite frankly I don't really get what most women get out of marriage if those women have the ability to work themselves. On a personal note, certainly the divorced women in their 50s/60s with good jobs seem the happiest of my various circles.

[Anonymous]

We're social creatures and marriage provides community. Tribes used to be close knit, then society moved on but extended families were still pretty intertwined, then society moved on and nuclear families were the core community we experienced. Now, I guess, society is putting pressure on splitting up even the nuclear family.

Sure, there are other ways to have close relationships with other people besides the tribe and the family. But they are more challenging and fewer people manage it. A lot of our social pathologies are related to ever-increasing isolation.

I think part of the reason that men are more apt to re-marry is because there are more cultural barriers to men forming social relationships in the absence of a wife and family. If some middle-aged, single guy wants to be your pal, there's going to be at least a part of you wondering what's wrong with him. Our culture is much more encouraging toward women forming social relationships with each other, regardless of their marital or family status.

[Anonymous]

I think part of the reason that men are more apt to re-marry is because there are more cultural barriers to men forming social relationships in the absence of a wife and family. If some middle-aged, single guy wants to be your pal, there's going to be at least a part of you wondering what's wrong with him. Our culture is much more encouraging toward women forming social relationships with each other, regardless of their marital or family status.

Or, we actually want a relationship where there is sex, cohabitation, and a little bit of arguing about picking up milk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Statistically married men live longer and healthier lives than unmarried men. Now is that because they are married or those types tend to get married and take fewer risks. Don't know.

But married women live shorter, less healthy lives than their single counterparts.

I think the title should be what do women get out of it. Men I understand. Women are less clear to me.

Women used to get shelter, food, security in exchange for childbearing, independence. Now that everbing is an equal partnership? Women get he short end of the stick.

All things being equal
We both make $X
We both have degrees
We both want children

Unless we are adopting ...
Only ONE of us has the physical impairment of pregnancy for an entire year, sometimes two. Not to mention another 12 months offering a milky boob on demand. Then parenting defaults to us because kids prefer mom very often. It’s not equal. It’s at least 90 measurable days out of the workforce where we cannot produce income easily and contribute to 401k, make career moves, etc.

Yet. Everyone leverages something and brings something to the table, each relationship is different.

But in the old days, married women lived even shorter lives on average. The fact is in pure life expectancy, marriage strongly benefits men but seems to harm women. Being an older single woman is typically a marker of longer life expectancy, while the opposite.is true for men.

Quite frankly I don't really get what most women get out of marriage if those women have the ability to work themselves. On a personal note, certainly the divorced women in their 50s/60s with good jobs seem the happiest of my various circles.

Well first off women always have out lived men. It’s because men did jobs that were dangerous- construction, drivers, farm work, factor work, wars and they died in higher numbers vs women. Secondly many women marry and take easy, less stressful jobs. They work part time, volunteering or take jobs they want because the husband works a job he has too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Statistically married men live longer and healthier lives than unmarried men. Now is that because they are married or those types tend to get married and take fewer risks. Don't know.

But married women live shorter, less healthy lives than their single counterparts.

I think the title should be what do women get out of it. Men I understand. Women are less clear to me.

Women used to get shelter, food, security in exchange for childbearing, independence. Now that everbing is an equal partnership? Women get he short end of the stick.

All things being equal
We both make $X
We both have degrees
We both want children

Unless we are adopting ...
Only ONE of us has the physical impairment of pregnancy for an entire year, sometimes two. Not to mention another 12 months offering a milky boob on demand. Then parenting defaults to us because kids prefer mom very often. It’s not equal. It’s at least 90 measurable days out of the workforce where we cannot produce income easily and contribute to 401k, make career moves, etc.

Yet. Everyone leverages something and brings something to the table, each relationship is different.

But in the old days, married women lived even shorter lives on average. The fact is in pure life expectancy, marriage strongly benefits men but seems to harm women. Being an older single woman is typically a marker of longer life expectancy, while the opposite.is true for men.

Quite frankly I don't really get what most women get out of marriage if those women have the ability to work themselves. On a personal note, certainly the divorced women in their 50s/60s with good jobs seem the happiest of my various circles.

Well first off women always have out lived men. It’s because men did jobs that were dangerous- construction, drivers, farm work, factor work, wars and they died in higher numbers vs women. Secondly many women marry and take easy, less stressful jobs. They work part time, volunteering or take jobs they want because the husband works a job he has too.

That doesn't explain why married women consistently in studies have shorter lives and worse health than their single counterparts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I think about the womanizing men sometimes I wonder why they need to “settle down”.

Their market value keeps increasing. If they are handsome and make good money, they can sleep with so many women and never have to endure a dead bedroom.

They can get companionship and validation through various friends with benefits type arrangements.

Why even put up with marriage?

To produce legitimate children and have uninterrupted access to them.

"Legitimate" is an outdated concept and you don't really need marriage for either of these.

Marriage gives a better shot at it.

You’re off base. I married to please my wife, whose continued presence appealed to me. It wasn’t about kids, it wasn’t about some stupid thing like having my shirts pressed. It was about living with her on her terms.

Beta. This has got to be a troll.

DP - I think it’s just a beta, they’re real

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Statistically married men live longer and healthier lives than unmarried men. Now is that because they are married or those types tend to get married and take fewer risks. Don't know.

But married women live shorter, less healthy lives than their single counterparts.

I think the title should be what do women get out of it. Men I understand. Women are less clear to me.

Women used to get shelter, food, security in exchange for childbearing, independence. Now that everbing is an equal partnership? Women get he short end of the stick.

All things being equal
We both make $X
We both have degrees
We both want children

Unless we are adopting ...
Only ONE of us has the physical impairment of pregnancy for an entire year, sometimes two. Not to mention another 12 months offering a milky boob on demand. Then parenting defaults to us because kids prefer mom very often. It’s not equal. It’s at least 90 measurable days out of the workforce where we cannot produce income easily and contribute to 401k, make career moves, etc.

Yet. Everyone leverages something and brings something to the table, each relationship is different.

But in the old days, married women lived even shorter lives on average. The fact is in pure life expectancy, marriage strongly benefits men but seems to harm women. Being an older single woman is typically a marker of longer life expectancy, while the opposite.is true for men.

Quite frankly I don't really get what most women get out of marriage if those women have the ability to work themselves. On a personal note, certainly the divorced women in their 50s/60s with good jobs seem the happiest of my various circles.

Well first off women always have out lived men. It’s because men did jobs that were dangerous- construction, drivers, farm work, factor work, wars and they died in higher numbers vs women. Secondly many women marry and take easy, less stressful jobs. They work part time, volunteering or take jobs they want because the husband works a job he has too.

That doesn't explain why married women consistently in studies have shorter lives and worse health than their single counterparts.

We don’t need research to explain why that happens, do we?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Statistically married men live longer and healthier lives than unmarried men. Now is that because they are married or those types tend to get married and take fewer risks. Don't know.

But married women live shorter, less healthy lives than their single counterparts.

I think the title should be what do women get out of it. Men I understand. Women are less clear to me.

Women used to get shelter, food, security in exchange for childbearing, independence. Now that everbing is an equal partnership? Women get he short end of the stick.

All things being equal
We both make $X
We both have degrees
We both want children

Unless we are adopting ...
Only ONE of us has the physical impairment of pregnancy for an entire year, sometimes two. Not to mention another 12 months offering a milky boob on demand. Then parenting defaults to us because kids prefer mom very often. It’s not equal. It’s at least 90 measurable days out of the workforce where we cannot produce income easily and contribute to 401k, make career moves, etc.

Yet. Everyone leverages something and brings something to the table, each relationship is different.

But in the old days, married women lived even shorter lives on average. The fact is in pure life expectancy, marriage strongly benefits men but seems to harm women. Being an older single woman is typically a marker of longer life expectancy, while the opposite.is true for men.

Quite frankly I don't really get what most women get out of marriage if those women have the ability to work themselves. On a personal note, certainly the divorced women in their 50s/60s with good jobs seem the happiest of my various circles.

Well first off women always have out lived men. It’s because men did jobs that were dangerous- construction, drivers, farm work, factor work, wars and they died in higher numbers vs women. Secondly many women marry and take easy, less stressful jobs. They work part time, volunteering or take jobs they want because the husband works a job he has too.

That doesn't explain why married women consistently in studies have shorter lives and worse health than their single counterparts.

We don’t need research to explain why that happens, do we?

Truth. Which is why this thread should be asking what the benefits of a LTR are for women (at least those women who can support themselves). Men, I get. But I don't know what women really get out of it on average. They seem better off unmarried.

[Anonymous]

That doesn't explain why married women consistently in studies have shorter lives and worse health than their single counterparts.

Cite some of these "studies".

[Anonymous]

Truth. Which is why this thread should be asking what the benefits of a LTR are for women (at least those women who can support themselves). Men, I get. But I don't know what women really get out of it on average. They seem better off unmarried.

Marriage is a shit deal for men. Excellent deal for women.

[Anonymous]

The fact is in pure life expectancy, marriage strongly benefits men but seems to harm women.

No, no, no.

Correlation not causation. The kind of men who are attractive enough to get married would live long lives even if they didn't get married.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4981792/

Recent studies evaluating the interaction between marital status and gender have reported that the health effects of marriage are equally distributed among men and women. Nonetheless, the perception marriage only benefits men persists, resistant to current realities and compounded by improper analysis.