Going to DIL's for first time for Christmas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Avoid the master bedroom and ask before using the washing machine.

If you say you are watching the kids outside, don't come back in without them and then ask me while I'm taking the turkey out "Should (2 year old) be down by the river by herself?" Unless of course you enjoy watching me drop everything and bolt despite burning myself.

Ask to use the washer? Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the DILs are venting about their own horrible experience with their ILs.

LOL

The OP did not ask for this shit!!

yes she did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Avoid the master bedroom and ask before using the washing machine.

If you say you are watching the kids outside, don't come back in without them and then ask me while I'm taking the turkey out "Should (2 year old) be down by the river by herself?" Unless of course you enjoy watching me drop everything and bolt despite burning myself.

Ask to use the washer? Why?

Not that PP but perhaps you don't know how to use my machine, maybe it's not working, maybe it's finicky. Most importantly, you don't live here, so ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the DILs are venting about their own horrible experience with their ILs.

LOL

The OP did not ask for this shit!!

My MIL is great. I'd fly cross country alone to visit her. My mom... lets just say I rarely go to her house or see her and she's very close by. Not all MIL are bad. Mine wasn't. My husband got the bad deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Avoid the master bedroom and ask before using the washing machine.

If you say you are watching the kids outside, don't come back in without them and then ask me while I'm taking the turkey out "Should (2 year old) be down by the river by herself?" Unless of course you enjoy watching me drop everything and bolt despite burning myself.

Ask to use the washer? Why?

Not that PP but perhaps you don't know how to use my machine, maybe it's not working, maybe it's finicky. Most importantly, you don't live here, so ask.

Don't have guests. Put the soap in, clothes and push start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Poor OP, I hope you are still up for this visit! I’d be terrified by this point if I were you reading this thread.

I'm not terrified. This is helpful. I still don't understand why it's bad for me to want to contribute more than just muffins and wine, but I'll just stick to that, as apparently I shouldn't be stepping on toes by wanting to contribute more. It's fine. I'll stay in my lane.

Because dil and son don’t want you to. No explanation needed.

[Anonymous]

Why would any sane MIL post on this forum of all places asking for advice about visiting a DIL? DCUM is insane on this issue. I'm a dad, and I damn sure hope my son doesn't marry a woman like most of you, and that my daughters don't become you. Just nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Avoid the master bedroom and ask before using the washing machine.

If you say you are watching the kids outside, don't come back in without them and then ask me while I'm taking the turkey out "Should (2 year old) be down by the river by herself?" Unless of course you enjoy watching me drop everything and bolt despite burning myself.

Ask to use the washer? Why?

Not that PP but perhaps you don't know how to use my machine, maybe it's not working, maybe it's finicky. Most importantly, you don't live here, so ask.

Don't have guests. Put the soap in, clothes and push start.

You shouldn't be a guest. ASK first before using anything in your host's home, unless you have been told otherwise.

If I need to do a load of household items (especially if there's something we need for school or sports the next day) and you've started a load unexpectedly? You suck.

If you moved my laundry and didn't remove my hang-dry only items, and they are now on full heat blast in the dryer, you REALLY suck.

[Anonymous]

LMAO this post is hilarious, on all parts.

I think the general theme of the advice has been right. Be generous with compliments, offer to help, play with the kids. And have fun!! That's the whole point!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Avoid the master bedroom and ask before using the washing machine.

If you say you are watching the kids outside, don't come back in without them and then ask me while I'm taking the turkey out "Should (2 year old) be down by the river by herself?" Unless of course you enjoy watching me drop everything and bolt despite burning myself.

Ask to use the washer? Why?

Not that PP but perhaps you don't know how to use my machine, maybe it's not working, maybe it's finicky. Most importantly, you don't live here, so ask.

Don't have guests. Put the soap in, clothes and push start.

I would never just go to someone's house and start using appliances without asking first even if it's a family member. It's not my house, perhaps they want things done in a particular way -- and they can explain that to me -- but I would never just decide to do a load of clothes without asking. My machine has an issue right now re: the bleach dispenser. You don't live here and use the machine, so you don't know that. Not asking before using the machine could mean all your clothes are ruined.

[Anonymous]

Someone already mentioned do not put all your crap down on my kitchen island. I will second that and add to not put your dog in the little dog carrier on the kitchen counter where I am preparing food either.

My MIL is like a cyclone of junk. She comes in usually no where near the time she is supposed to arrive, always hours earlier or hours later. Everything has to stop as she gushes and smushes everyone. She brings in so many bags you would think she had just been Black Friday shopping. She dumps them all down in the middle of everything and puts the damn dog on the kitchen counter. She then proceeds to pull out all this crap she has brought. It is always garage sale finds that must have been the last items and the sellers had to give them away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Avoid the master bedroom and ask before using the washing machine.

If you say you are watching the kids outside, don't come back in without them and then ask me while I'm taking the turkey out "Should (2 year old) be down by the river by herself?" Unless of course you enjoy watching me drop everything and bolt despite burning myself.

Ask to use the washer? Why?

Not that PP but perhaps you don't know how to use my machine, maybe it's not working, maybe it's finicky. Most importantly, you don't live here, so ask.

Don't have guests. Put the soap in, clothes and push start.

You shouldn't be a guest. ASK first before using anything in your host's home, unless you have been told otherwise.

If I need to do a load of household items (especially if there's something we need for school or sports the next day) and you've started a load unexpectedly? You suck.

If you moved my laundry and didn't remove my hang-dry only items, and they are now on full heat blast in the dryer, you REALLY suck.

+1
Also, if you try to help with laundry and do two towels like you do at home, you suck. We are gen exers or millenials, concerned about the environment. We have specs for full loads, temp and how much detergent, and yes, for what gets hung or dried. We care about the planet and our bills.

[Anonymous]

Don't turn on every light and play with every set of blinds. Please.

[Anonymous]

Don’t go through their closets.

Don’t ask her if it’s ok with her boss that she’s taking a vacation day.

Don’t give her advice on how to take care of her elderly parent when she’s been doing it for over a decade.

If your DIL (or anybody else you are speaking to) is infertile, don’t fret to her about how hard your daughter with kids has it. She has been through hell trying to have a baby and you are pouring salt in her wounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Avoid the master bedroom and ask before using the washing machine.

If you say you are watching the kids outside, don't come back in without them and then ask me while I'm taking the turkey out "Should (2 year old) be down by the river by herself?" Unless of course you enjoy watching me drop everything and bolt despite burning myself.

Ask to use the washer? Why?

Not that PP but perhaps you don't know how to use my machine, maybe it's not working, maybe it's finicky. Most importantly, you don't live here, so ask.

Don't have guests. Put the soap in, clothes and push start.

Guests might have 1-2 loads a week while an entire family going to school, work, etc will have way more than a little load and much less time to do them than a guest hanging around the house the whole day relaxing. So ask.