Implementing no photo sharing rule for in laws?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, a lot of bitter grandparents on the forums today.

Maybe this is a generational thing but as a millennial (I’m 35) I don’t know a SINGLE person who thinks it’s okay to post the photo of another person’s child on the internet. There are so many reasons why that’s just inappropriate and unfair to the child. Protecting your child’s SAFETY, privacy and future right to control their internet presence is way more important than a grandparent’s hurt feelings.

Protecting your child’s internet anonymity is just GOOD PARENTING. If you’re a grandparent or relative and that offends you—let me remind you that its not about you.

If you do t understand this, then consider that this is probably the reason why you can’t be trusted with anyone’s photos.

I post pictures of my own children but relatives may not realize I have very tightly restricted privacy controls. Can’t say the same for every random aunt and internet-clueless grandparent out there.

Yes. All of this x 1 million.

Get over yourselves, grandparents.

I get the part about controlling your kids internet presence. But I really don’t see how this is a literal safety issue. Can you elaborate?

I am also curious...what horrible thing is going to happen?
I have a “no naked parts” photo policy, which is reasonable I think. What is going to happen with fully clothed pictures of children? I dont get it.

I don’t get it either. Unless you’re like, in witness protection, what concrete problem do you see arising?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We've had this rule for years now including people taking pics of our kids. You need to be upfront about your decision and persistent when you see violations to make people take down pics. I'd say more than half my friends don't post kid pics on social media anyway so when we're around each others kids and taking pics all the parents at this point know what's ok to share on social media. It took a long time for my mom to follow the rule but after a lot of reminding she 100% follows it. My friends and family all use private albums to share kid pics with they trust now - maybe it's a generational thing. Sorry, but once a pic is on the public internet any sicko can use it and manipulate it. Google it.

Make sure you go to school and confiscate all the yearbooks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents...hate to break it to you but you had your turn. You have absolutely zero claim to your grandchildren.

+1000

Even if true, people who say stuff like this are appalling.

[Anonymous]

So strange to me the concept of rules. Do adults really do that - give other people rules to follow?

Is it people who grew up in really strict homes? I can't imagine as an adult a friend or family member coming to me with rules they had decided I would follow. It is so controlling and rigid.

Do you really give friends and families lists of rules that they are required to follow to be your friend or in your life? It is such a bizare concept to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don’t want our kid on social media until he decides what he wants out there, so we set up a group album for photos. Grandparents can show pictures from phone or text to friends who care enough to see them. No one seems to mind.

+1. We set rules when DC1 was born and I’m so glad we did. We allow group shots without identifying info (so- we don’t freak out about a post of all the grandkids by the Christmas tree), but we do significantly limit it (it’s really only those random family shots that end up on Facebook).

My MIL has no filter and would share anything, so we don’t let her post anything personally identifiable about our kids. In fairness, we practice what we preach and don’t do ourselves either. Kids are going to hate how much their parents share, and we don’t want to be part of that debacle.

[Anonymous]

Many of you will be back here complaining in a few years, wondering why the grandparents favor their other grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you do that then you of course will make your child wear a mask at all times out in public.

+100. I genuinely want to know what issue people see with pics of their kids online. No one cares about looking at a random kid. Get over yourselves.

Sure. Let's pretend stalking, bullying, harassment, discrimination, and identity theft don't exist for a minute, and that the law they passed in MD about employers using social media to check people out exists for no reason at all., and that you're totally ok with stuff like your kid's image being used in advertising without their permission or any kind of compensation.

All that stuff about Google or Facebook or amazon or anyone else snooping around and tracking everything you do online so that they can sell your data to marketers is not only just fine with you, but that you also have the right to make that decision for someone who couldn't legally consent to any of this even if they did understand it. Yahoo and Experian were only in the news because no Kardashians farted that day. I'm not even going to get into the details of the international ring of sickos that just got busted and are now in the news. Obviously they started out somewhere, and it probably wasn't the darknet.

Hard to say what it would take (other than something bad actually happening to someone they care about) for some of these posters, but just that last bit is enough for me. Just facebook can automatically tag a photo with a real name. So that, plus If you post little Larla's first cake smash, show someone's house number or a recognizable street sign, pretty soon there's enough for a bad actor to start applying for loans, credit cards, or taking other steps to establish a kid's identity as their own. So then the kid turns 18 and finds out their credit is trashed and they can't get a student loan. I don't know about you, but this is stuff most people never even considered 10 years ago, yet here we are. Do you think it's fair to expose a kid to any of that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've had this rule for years now including people taking pics of our kids. You need to be upfront about your decision and persistent when you see violations to make people take down pics. I'd say more than half my friends don't post kid pics on social media anyway so when we're around each others kids and taking pics all the parents at this point know what's ok to share on social media. It took a long time for my mom to follow the rule but after a lot of reminding she 100% follows it. My friends and family all use private albums to share kid pics with they trust now - maybe it's a generational thing. Sorry, but once a pic is on the public internet any sicko can use it and manipulate it. Google it.

Make sure you go to school and confiscate all the yearbooks.

Most schools allow kids to be opted out of the yearbook. Many do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've had this rule for years now including people taking pics of our kids. You need to be upfront about your decision and persistent when you see violations to make people take down pics. I'd say more than half my friends don't post kid pics on social media anyway so when we're around each others kids and taking pics all the parents at this point know what's ok to share on social media. It took a long time for my mom to follow the rule but after a lot of reminding she 100% follows it. My friends and family all use private albums to share kid pics with they trust now - maybe it's a generational thing. Sorry, but once a pic is on the public internet any sicko can use it and manipulate it. Google it.

Make sure you go to school and confiscate all the yearbooks.

Most schools allow kids to be opted out of the yearbook. Many do.

How sad for the kid. Truly. Because there is a .000001% chance of being kidnapped or some other such ridiculousness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you do that then you of course will make your child wear a mask at all times out in public.

+100. I genuinely want to know what issue people see with pics of their kids online. No one cares about looking at a random kid. Get over yourselves.

Sure. Let's pretend stalking, bullying, harassment, discrimination, and identity theft don't exist for a minute, and that the law they passed in MD about employers using social media to check people out exists for no reason at all., and that you're totally ok with stuff like your kid's image being used in advertising without their permission or any kind of compensation.

All that stuff about Google or Facebook or amazon or anyone else snooping around and tracking everything you do online so that they can sell your data to marketers is not only just fine with you, but that you also have the right to make that decision for someone who couldn't legally consent to any of this even if they did understand it. Yahoo and Experian were only in the news because no Kardashians farted that day. I'm not even going to get into the details of the international ring of sickos that just got busted and are now in the news. Obviously they started out somewhere, and it probably wasn't the darknet.

Hard to say what it would take (other than something bad actually happening to someone they care about) for some of these posters, but just that last bit is enough for me. Just facebook can automatically tag a photo with a real name. So that, plus If you post little Larla's first cake smash, show someone's house number or a recognizable street sign, pretty soon there's enough for a bad actor to start applying for loans, credit cards, or taking other steps to establish a kid's identity as their own. So then the kid turns 18 and finds out their credit is trashed and they can't get a student loan. I don't know about you, but this is stuff most people never even considered 10 years ago, yet here we are. Do you think it's fair to expose a kid to any of that?

Get to your therapist. Stat!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you do that then you of course will make your child wear a mask at all times out in public.

+100. I genuinely want to know what issue people see with pics of their kids online. No one cares about looking at a random kid. Get over yourselves.

Sure. Let's pretend stalking, bullying, harassment, discrimination, and identity theft don't exist for a minute, and that the law they passed in MD about employers using social media to check people out exists for no reason at all., and that you're totally ok with stuff like your kid's image being used in advertising without their permission or any kind of compensation.

All that stuff about Google or Facebook or amazon or anyone else snooping around and tracking everything you do online so that they can sell your data to marketers is not only just fine with you, but that you also have the right to make that decision for someone who couldn't legally consent to any of this even if they did understand it. Yahoo and Experian were only in the news because no Kardashians farted that day. I'm not even going to get into the details of the international ring of sickos that just got busted and are now in the news. Obviously they started out somewhere, and it probably wasn't the darknet.

Hard to say what it would take (other than something bad actually happening to someone they care about) for some of these posters, but just that last bit is enough for me. Just facebook can automatically tag a photo with a real name. So that, plus If you post little Larla's first cake smash, show someone's house number or a recognizable street sign, pretty soon there's enough for a bad actor to start applying for loans, credit cards, or taking other steps to establish a kid's identity as their own. So then the kid turns 18 and finds out their credit is trashed and they can't get a student loan. I don't know about you, but this is stuff most people never even considered 10 years ago, yet here we are. Do you think it's fair to expose a kid to any of that?

Get to your therapist. Stat!

Get to 2019. Stat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your don’t have any kids, don’t say anything right now. It’s not the time, your in-laws will think your controlling. However, if you are pregnant, start talking about your social media “rules” NOW. I am talking from experience, not with in-laws, but my own parents.

My husband and I are very private especially on social media, we keep it all locked down. My parents, especially my dad, over share on social media. I started talking about it with my parents, and they both blew it off and said something dumb about it. Fast forward to the following year, something happened and the local newspaper got ahold of a picture of our child and posted it in their article, it had nothing to do with children or our child for that matter. It took a few weeks to get the paper to take down the picture. It was an online article not print.
I know a lot of parents are worried something like this will happen, and to everyone saying Op is selfish or dramatic. No, she isn’t, she is protecting her child. What happened to us, will most likely not happen to most people, but we failed as parents and we didn’t protect our child the way we should have.
Op, you are not being selfish. You are being a parent. Please tell them no pictures or no face pictures.

That’s the “bad stuff” people are worried can happen? Um. Sorry some extra people looked at a picture of your child.
I get it’s irritating they used the photo without permission, but this is not a huge deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've had this rule for years now including people taking pics of our kids. You need to be upfront about your decision and persistent when you see violations to make people take down pics. I'd say more than half my friends don't post kid pics on social media anyway so when we're around each others kids and taking pics all the parents at this point know what's ok to share on social media. It took a long time for my mom to follow the rule but after a lot of reminding she 100% follows it. My friends and family all use private albums to share kid pics with they trust now - maybe it's a generational thing. Sorry, but once a pic is on the public internet any sicko can use it and manipulate it. Google it.

Make sure you go to school and confiscate all the yearbooks.

Most schools allow kids to be opted out of the yearbook. Many do.

How sad for the kid. Truly. Because there is a .000001% chance of being kidnapped or some other such ridiculousness.

How sad for the kids whose relatives refuse to acknowledge reality. Even sadder for that kid who really is in the percentage that is at risk there when people refuse to take it seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've had this rule for years now including people taking pics of our kids. You need to be upfront about your decision and persistent when you see violations to make people take down pics. I'd say more than half my friends don't post kid pics on social media anyway so when we're around each others kids and taking pics all the parents at this point know what's ok to share on social media. It took a long time for my mom to follow the rule but after a lot of reminding she 100% follows it. My friends and family all use private albums to share kid pics with they trust now - maybe it's a generational thing. Sorry, but once a pic is on the public internet any sicko can use it and manipulate it. Google it.

Make sure you go to school and confiscate all the yearbooks.

Most schools allow kids to be opted out of the yearbook. Many do.

How sad for the kid. Truly. Because there is a .000001% chance of being kidnapped or some other such ridiculousness.

How sad for the kids whose relatives refuse to acknowledge reality. Even sadder for that kid who really is in the percentage that is at risk there when people refuse to take it seriously.

At risk for WHAT for a yearbook photo?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you do that then you of course will make your child wear a mask at all times out in public.

+100. I genuinely want to know what issue people see with pics of their kids online. No one cares about looking at a random kid. Get over yourselves.

Sure. Let's pretend stalking, bullying, harassment, discrimination, and identity theft don't exist for a minute, and that the law they passed in MD about employers using social media to check people out exists for no reason at all., and that you're totally ok with stuff like your kid's image being used in advertising without their permission or any kind of compensation.

All that stuff about Google or Facebook or amazon or anyone else snooping around and tracking everything you do online so that they can sell your data to marketers is not only just fine with you, but that you also have the right to make that decision for someone who couldn't legally consent to any of this even if they did understand it. Yahoo and Experian were only in the news because no Kardashians farted that day. I'm not even going to get into the details of the international ring of sickos that just got busted and are now in the news. Obviously they started out somewhere, and it probably wasn't the darknet.

Hard to say what it would take (other than something bad actually happening to someone they care about) for some of these posters, but just that last bit is enough for me. Just facebook can automatically tag a photo with a real name. So that, plus If you post little Larla's first cake smash, show someone's house number or a recognizable street sign, pretty soon there's enough for a bad actor to start applying for loans, credit cards, or taking other steps to establish a kid's identity as their own. So then the kid turns 18 and finds out their credit is trashed and they can't get a student loan. I don't know about you, but this is stuff most people never even considered 10 years ago, yet here we are. Do you think it's fair to expose a kid to any of that?

You think most identity theft occurs from people scouring the internet for photos posted from grandparents and parents? You’re nuts!
It’s from data breaches. Unless you plan to do no banking or use insurance or any number of things that require a SSN, your child could have their identity stolen.