Parents who don't intervene -- why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I don’t find that selfish or extremely annoying in any way whatsoever. It’s normal parenting. Anyone who write six paragraphs about it not being ok is self delusional.

Fine. But if my 5 year old kicks your 5 year old coming down the slide when your kid won't get out of the way for a long time, you'll be cool with that, right?

Not pp, but yes, I would. Bet that blows your mind.

You're ok if a kid KICKS another kid?!

Wow.

If my kid is not sharing or taking turns on the playground and gets called out by another kid? Yes I’m OK with that. If they are refusing to move on a slide and get kicked by someone else coming down? Also OK.

I’d think your kid is a dick. But I’d let my kid work it out.

Obviously. We are saying the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Umm, you realize KICKING someone isn't the right way to solve that problem, right?

I would think my kid should have moved, but that your kid is being awful for kicking my kid rather than just saying "can you move so I can go down?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I don’t find that selfish or extremely annoying in any way whatsoever. It’s normal parenting. Anyone who write six paragraphs about it not being ok is self delusional.

Fine. But if my 5 year old kicks your 5 year old coming down the slide when your kid won't get out of the way for a long time, you'll be cool with that, right?

Not pp, but yes, I would. Bet that blows your mind.

You're ok if a kid KICKS another kid?!

Wow.

If my kid is not sharing or taking turns on the playground and gets called out by another kid? Yes I’m OK with that. If they are refusing to move on a slide and get kicked by someone else coming down? Also OK.

I’d think your kid is a dick. But I’d let my kid work it out.

Obviously. We are saying the same thing.

Oops. Responded to wrong extra long post!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Umm, you realize KICKING someone isn't the right way to solve that problem, right?

I would think my kid should have moved, but that your kid is being awful for kicking my kid rather than just saying "can you move so I can go down?"

I’m guessing this is generally unintentional kicking. Or if not it’s a human without fully developed executive functioning. Get a grip adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Umm, you realize KICKING someone isn't the right way to solve that problem, right?

I would think my kid should have moved, but that your kid is being awful for kicking my kid rather than just saying "can you move so I can go down?"

Right, but as kids get older, it becomes more and more important to let them handle situations on their own, even if they're wrong, even if the other kid is wrong, than it is to intervene and make sure Justice Prevails.

[Anonymous]

Just wait until they start with the “boys will be boys” nonsense while throwing their hands up in the air.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Umm, you realize KICKING someone isn't the right way to solve that problem, right?

I would think my kid should have moved, but that your kid is being awful for kicking my kid rather than just saying "can you move so I can go down?"

I think you’re misunderstanding the kicking. It’s a
consequence when one kid goes down the slide and another is blocking the way - feet make contact with obstacle (kid). It’s not an actual kick like one kicks a soccer ball.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I was just thinking as I read the OP, "I let my 4 year old climb the slide......" I figure he and the other kids can work it out. Either they will take turns, or they will all decide to climb up instead of slide down, or vice versa, or someone will get kicked and i'll say "yup, sometimes that happens when you climb the slide when it's crowded... people coming down have first dibs". I actually really dislike when other parents correct children climbing the slide (who aren't their own). "Ok guys... slides aren't for climbing! Little Larlo (their own child, always) is waiting patiently to slide down!" Like ok... let them wait patiently. What's wrong with this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I don’t find that selfish or extremely annoying in any way whatsoever. It’s normal parenting. Anyone who write six paragraphs about it not being ok is self delusional.

Yes, but I'm telling my 21 month old he cant climb up the slide and your 5 year old does it. Either the rules apply or they dont. Your kid being older doesnt get to not have rules just because they can handle the physical fallout if they fall off, etc. Your kid should be told that they need to watch out for little kids and show them the right way to do things. Let them be wild and without rules at your house.

We went to the park this weekend at Centennial Park. There was a kid STEPPING on the back of my toddlers heels as he was trying to cross a bridge. I had to physically put my hand there to stop him from running him over while telling him to please wait his turn. Eventually, we just took him off the bridge.

Older kids were climbing the outside of the slides, running into smaller kids, etc. If my kid is crawling through the tunnels, I have to physically block kids from running into the tunnel and stepping on him. These older kids are serious $$$holes. A 6-8 year old pushed my kid out of the way on the slide. I was down below to help him come down- right next to the top of the slide and was there to move him aside. There were 2 other slides open next to him. You better believe I asked where her mom was. And she wouldnt answer.

This happened in a huge playground within 15-20 minutes. We ended up walking the paths because of this.

1) this sounds like a play structure for preschoolers and elementary aged kids, not the under 2 crowd.
2) You can't make other children follow your rules for your child on the playground
3) Don't physically block other children from playing on the playground just because your baby is in the middle of the play structure. OMG. If your baby can't play safely with 6 year olds running around playing also, maybe your baby is too young for that structure. Usually they say age suggestions on it. And the suggestion is usually age 5-12 for the "normal" play structure, and then someetimes there is a baby/toddler one next to it. Stick to playgrounds that have that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As long as we are venting, can I also say how annoyed I am by parents who climb on the play structures with children who are way to young to be up there? Get off and stop blocking other kids who are trying to climb and play.

yes!!!!!! i hate it when my 4 year old has to maneuver past a dad who is dadding on the bridge of the play structure and won't move his huge butt.

[Anonymous]

To all the moms of babies/ young toddlers on the playground- this is something you can't really realize until your kids are older (I certainly didn't realize it), but older kids (say, age 4 and up) really NEED the playground. It's built for kids to climb and run and yell and play independently. That's what school aged kids NEED, especially after a day of Kindergarten or first grade that is too much sit down time for little kids. A 21 month old can get stimulation and age appropriate fun truly by just being at the park and running in the grass, seeing things and people, picking up leaves. Also- they can go to these playgrounds when older kids are in school.

It's kind of like the moms who take their 4 months old to a mommy and me music class. The kid does not need a mommy and me music class- the parent just wants to get out there and "do stuff" with their baby, which I get, because I was that mom at first too. An under 2 year old baby/young toddler doesn't need to be on the playground if it's busy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I was just thinking as I read the OP, "I let my 4 year old climb the slide......" I figure he and the other kids can work it out. Either they will take turns, or they will all decide to climb up instead of slide down, or vice versa, or someone will get kicked and i'll say "yup, sometimes that happens when you climb the slide when it's crowded... people coming down have first dibs". I actually really dislike when other parents correct children climbing the slide (who aren't their own). "Ok guys... slides aren't for climbing! Little Larlo (their own child, always) is waiting patiently to slide down!" Like ok... let them wait patiently. What's wrong with this?

So another kid is supposed to wait patiently while your kid plays? and yet in another statement, you say that people coming down have first dibs so your kid should be okay with being kicked. So the other kid is supposed to have dibs and patiently wait for your kid? The problem is both parents that dont intervene and those that give mixed messages. Maybe your kid should go at the non-busy times and if there are other kids there then they should follow the general rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To all the moms of babies/ young toddlers on the playground- this is something you can't really realize until your kids are older (I certainly didn't realize it), but older kids (say, age 4 and up) really NEED the playground. It's built for kids to climb and run and yell and play independently. That's what school aged kids NEED, especially after a day of Kindergarten or first grade that is too much sit down time for little kids. A 21 month old can get stimulation and age appropriate fun truly by just being at the park and running in the grass, seeing things and people, picking up leaves. Also- they can go to these playgrounds when older kids are in school.

It's kind of like the moms who take their 4 months old to a mommy and me music class. The kid does not need a mommy and me music class- the parent just wants to get out there and "do stuff" with their baby, which I get, because I was that mom at first too. An under 2 year old baby/young toddler doesn't need to be on the playground if it's busy.

Okay one more thing, multiple people on this thread have posted to go at non-peak times or when kids are in school. Exactly how is a working mom supposed to pull that off- the assumptions on here are just crazy privileged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I say this in the nicest possible way, stop complaining about your friends and talk to them. Or sneak in by example another way to handle the situation. As far as other parents playground, we’re all weirdos and annoy other parents in someway. Just move to another part and teach your kid resiliency. Yeah they should be a little more specific with their kid but if they’re not you always have legs to move to another area

This doesn’t always work. I’ve had kids follow us all over the playground. One recently was in our faces begging us to come see the dish he cooked in the sandbox. I said “Sure, but we are going to have a snack first.” (My 2 year old was eating). He kept running over and whining and trying to touch my kid. Mom was in the sandbox and was SUPERPROUD of her kid. Even when we joined them and her kid started scooping sand up and trying to put it in my 2 year old’s mouth to taste, she didn’t intervene. I never touch another person’s kid or pull toys out of their hands, but I will say I’ve been tempted when yet another kid runs over and grabs something my kid is playing with. I will say it seems kind of common in this area. We’ve been elsewhere in the country to visit family and on other trips and parents and children seem different.

+1

ie: less smug. Just say "NO!" loudly - maybe the lazy parent will take a hint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I was just thinking as I read the OP, "I let my 4 year old climb the slide......" I figure he and the other kids can work it out. Either they will take turns, or they will all decide to climb up instead of slide down, or vice versa, or someone will get kicked and i'll say "yup, sometimes that happens when you climb the slide when it's crowded... people coming down have first dibs". I actually really dislike when other parents correct children climbing the slide (who aren't their own). "Ok guys... slides aren't for climbing! Little Larlo (their own child, always) is waiting patiently to slide down!" Like ok... let them wait patiently. What's wrong with this?

So another kid is supposed to wait patiently while your kid plays? and yet in another statement, you say that people coming down have first dibs so your kid should be okay with being kicked. So the other kid is supposed to have dibs and patiently wait for your kid? The problem is both parents that dont intervene and those that give mixed messages. Maybe your kid should go at the non-busy times and if there are other kids there then they should follow the general rules.

Her kid can wait patiently, or say "I'm sliding down now! Move!" or just slide down and let my kid get bumped since she has the right of way, or say "that looks fun I want to climb up too!" She can truly do whatever she wants. What I don't like is the other parents policing the play of children who are not their own, ALWAYS older kids who are somehow "disturbing" their small toddler on the playground by not playing by their rules. And for the record I don't mean something inherently mean or dangerous like throwing sand at your younger child, or pushing them off of the steps, or anything like that. I mean just... playing.

For example once I saw a 5 year old swinging on the monkey bars and a 15-18mo old little kid was playing in the wood chips underneath them while her mom beamed at her. Then the 5 year old's hands slipped and she landed right next to/ partially on top of the toddler. The mom of the toddler YELLED at the 5 year old. "You need to be careful for the little ones! You need to look and pay attention! It's dangerous what you just did!"

Anyways, that was a tangent and unrelated to the neverending "is climbing up the slide okay?" debate. Sorry. But basically, don't tell my kid what to do on the playground, if you find yourself policing the play of school aged kids on the playground because it's making it difficult for your kid to play the way they want- but no one is doing anything mean or hurtful, it's just different strokes for different folks- either back off and let the kids play and handle it, or if your kid is too little for that approach, consider that it's time to move your child to a different area.