SAHM with kids in school? Dealing with judgement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gen X SAHM of tweens and teens here. You do you, boo. Ask why this person feels such a need to butt into your business. It isn't her call. You have a great life that is working for you. You probably look relaxed and happy, and this person cannot deal with it. My life is GREAT, and my husband fully supports me. You cannot buy that.

People who say “you do you, boo” are mental midgets.

....or, they're totally chill cuz they have a good life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I literally would say, “why would I work if I don’t need the money? YOLO.”

Because people most likely know that isn’t true.

I’m not sure what your background is, but this is true for many.

So why does your husband have to continue to work?

Unsurprisingly, the SAHMs responding here have very poor writing skills and/or don’t seem to speak English as a first language. Therefore - less options.

It’s fewer options, genius.

—SAHM

LOL +1

Actually both are correct, depending on whether the modified word is countable. In this case, that’s debatable. But you guys are cute for trying. Now go make Daddy a martini.

Umm. No. It is fewer. It is not less. The stupid here is amazing.

It is fewer. But you don't have to harp on it. Really, grammar errors aren't worth fighting over in an online forum.

The pp accused sahm of using poor grammar while using poor grammar. It had to be called out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But seriously, OP, what do you do all day? Do you have some sort of hobby or volunteer gig that takes up your time?

I’m a PP and I’ll repeat what I wrote above. Why is that anyone’s business how she chooses to spend her days?

Not PP but because I wonder what it’s like to not positively contribute to society one bit.

I know some SAHPs who contribute quite a bit actually (and some who don’t, as wel). The president of my kids’ little league is a SAH dad...he also coaches nearly year round, and is on the board of a local kids’ golf nonprofit too. He is a CPA..they had kids at an older age and he had a long career before this. His wife owns a very successful business (and he does a bit of work for their business- taxes etc). I think Ben is contributing more to society this way, than he would be sitting and no doing people’s taxes all day!! And his wife loves it- she never wanted to SAH and this was their arrangement from day one..

I also know a ton of SAHM who volunteer a lot- yes at school (and they put in a ton of time- I wouldn’t want to) and other nonprofits.

I also know some SAHM who exercise and lunch all day...

It’s a mixed bag. But, I wouldn’t say that SAHP don’t contribute to society. Depends on the person. There are so many jobs that don’t contribute to society either- they are just a paycheck and a way to pay the bills..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But seriously, OP, what do you do all day? Do you have some sort of hobby or volunteer gig that takes up your time?

I’m a PP and I’ll repeat what I wrote above. Why is that anyone’s business how she chooses to spend her days?

Not PP but because I wonder what it’s like to not positively contribute to society one bit.

I know some SAHPs who contribute quite a bit actually (and some who don’t, as wel). The president of my kids’ little league is a SAH dad...he also coaches nearly year round, and is on the board of a local kids’ golf nonprofit too. He is a CPA..they had kids at an older age and he had a long career before this. His wife owns a very successful business (and he does a bit of work for their business- taxes etc). I think Ben is contributing more to society this way, than he would be sitting and no doing people’s taxes all day!! And his wife loves it- she never wanted to SAH and this was their arrangement from day one..

I also know a ton of SAHM who volunteer a lot- yes at school (and they put in a ton of time- I wouldn’t want to) and other nonprofits.

I also know some SAHM who exercise and lunch all day...

It’s a mixed bag. But, I wouldn’t say that SAHP don’t contribute to society. Depends on the person. There are so many jobs that don’t contribute to society either- they are just a paycheck and a way to pay the bills..

Seriously. I work outside the home and don't have any desire to SAH, but I don't think I really "contribute to society". I'm a CPA working for a corporation and the rest of my time is spent chasing my young kids (baby and toddler). My SAHM neighbor who runs a girl scout troop, does carpool and the PTA, hosts exchange students, is active in her church, etc. etc. contributes way more to our community than I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But seriously, OP, what do you do all day? Do you have some sort of hobby or volunteer gig that takes up your time?

I’m a PP and I’ll repeat what I wrote above. Why is that anyone’s business how she chooses to spend her days?

Not PP but because I wonder what it’s like to not positively contribute to society one bit.

I know some SAHPs who contribute quite a bit actually (and some who don’t, as wel). The president of my kids’ little league is a SAH dad...he also coaches nearly year round, and is on the board of a local kids’ golf nonprofit too. He is a CPA..they had kids at an older age and he had a long career before this. His wife owns a very successful business (and he does a bit of work for their business- taxes etc). I think Ben is contributing more to society this way, than he would be sitting and no doing people’s taxes all day!! And his wife loves it- she never wanted to SAH and this was their arrangement from day one..

I also know a ton of SAHM who volunteer a lot- yes at school (and they put in a ton of time- I wouldn’t want to) and other nonprofits.

I also know some SAHM who exercise and lunch all day...

It’s a mixed bag. But, I wouldn’t say that SAHP don’t contribute to society. Depends on the person. There are so many jobs that don’t contribute to society either- they are just a paycheck and a way to pay the bills..

Seriously. I work outside the home and don't have any desire to SAH, but I don't think I really "contribute to society". I'm a CPA working for a corporation and the rest of my time is spent chasing my young kids (baby and toddler). My SAHM neighbor who runs a girl scout troop, does carpool and the PTA, hosts exchange students, is active in her church, etc. etc. contributes way more to our community than I do.

I agree. I have a job that I do think is important and meaningful. I am a doctor at an addiction clinic, mostly helping people get off heroin. I am good at it, and I like it. However, 100 years from now, when we are all dead, almost nothing anyone is doing now is going to matter more than the fact that there are a lot of good parents out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not OP,
My daily schedule:
Monday:
Breakfast,pack Lunches, and walk kids to bus stop.
Dishes, clean house, laundry,make Lunch or dinner.
Read, take online class and rest.
Pick up kids from the bus stop and serve snacks and help with homework.
Drive kids to dance class and drive back home.
Dinner, dishes and and family time before kids take showers and get ready for bed. Read stories to my kindergarten and light out.
It's 8:30pm, clean up kitchen and set kids clothes for next day.
Take my shower and read more before bed! I am super tired by 10pm.

Happy reading and repeat and Rinse the rest of the week. Saturday and Sunday dh takes over. Thank God.

I’m a wohp and this schedule sounds incredibly luxurious to me. That being said, I have lots of friends who are SAHPs and have lots to deal with in their lives and juggling 2 full time jobs would be miserable for their families. I also think other families decisions aren’t usually my business and I refrain from judging with a few exceptions (like not vaccinating).

Some of us have husbands who can’t or won’t pitch in, but make plenty for us to SAH. I would be incredibly resentful if I had to work FT and do everything else too since DH frequently doesn’t get home until 7:30/8pm. If he wants me to work FT, he needs to get a standard 8-5 gig but he doesn’t want to. Instead, the “everything else” is my job and I don’t resent it. Works for us.

Wow, now that sounds rewarding. Staying at home to do everything for a selfish, unappreciative husband who won’t pitch in on the homefront.

[Anonymous]

We SAHM are busy spending and lending all of the money, so that working class people have money available to earn through wages. Consider it a form of economic recycling stimuli. #GoGreen

/s

[Anonymous]

Actually. Y’all suk because you’re on DCUM Relationship Discussion board. Which adds negative value to society and to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gen X SAHM of tweens and teens here. You do you, boo. Ask why this person feels such a need to butt into your business. It isn't her call. You have a great life that is working for you. You probably look relaxed and happy, and this person cannot deal with it. My life is GREAT, and my husband fully supports me. You cannot buy that.

People who say “you do you, boo” are mental midgets.

....or, they're totally chill cuz they have a good life!

+1. I know someone who says “boo” I thought it was odd at first, but she’s hilarious, fierce, kind, and incredibly generous. Best kinda friend to have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually. Y’all suk because you’re on DCUM Relationship Discussion board. Which adds negative value to society and to yourself.

And you, I see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually. Y’all suk because you’re on DCUM Relationship Discussion board. Which adds negative value to society and to yourself.

I got pulled in on the recent topics board. I like the variety. I didn't know this was on relationships until YOU pointed it out.

[Anonymous]

The majority of the moms at my kids' school seem to be SAHMs. With all kids in school. I probably get more cmoments about working than they do about not working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I were both professionals with demanding jobs before my husband retired. He retired young from a government job, and we moved to a quieter area. He’s now working a job related to a hobby, and I’m currently staying home. It works for us, and I’m genuinely happy. I can honestly say that I’ve been asked the “when are you going back to work” and “what do you do all day” questions, but I’ve never felt outwardly judged before today.

An acquaintance basically told me that I need to ‘get it together and find a job, even if it does pay peanuts’. Although I never like to or feel the need to defend my choices to anyone, after I explained the ways my not currently working benefit our family, I was met with how ‘it must be terrible for my husband to buy his own Christmas and birthday gifts’. At the time, I was laughing inside, because what an odd response. But she persisted, and went on and on about the ways her working benefited her family, none of which are applicable to our situation. In the end, she rolled her eyes and changed the subject.

It was such an odd interaction. As someone who has been on both ends of the spectrum, I can see the motivation for both sides. I’d never judge, because I’ve been there. But I can’t wrap my head around this woman’s motivation for attacking me to my face. Anyone experience this before?

(Also, if you’re coming here to troll and bash SAHM, you needn’t respond. I will pass right by your comment and I encourage others to do the same.)

This woman is clearly a jealous busybody. I would talk to her about my exercise classes and other hobbies. Give her something more reasons to be miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually. Y’all suk because you’re on DCUM Relationship Discussion board. Which adds negative value to society and to yourself.

I got pulled in on the recent topics board. I like the variety. I didn't know this was on relationships until YOU pointed it out.

I like recent topics too.

Although the relationship board as been a positive for my marriage. Ask my DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But seriously, OP, what do you do all day? Do you have some sort of hobby or volunteer gig that takes up your time?

I’m a PP and I’ll repeat what I wrote above. Why is that anyone’s business how she chooses to spend her days?

Because it contributes to the patriarchal society that we all live in and sets a terrible example for children. but SAHMs are selfish by nature, so they don’t care. ME ME MEEE!

Surprised it took that many pages to lay bare what is really behind the animosity towards SAHMs. Its a betrayal of the so-called sisterhood. Note these same folks applaud religious women who put on hijabs as an empowered choice.

The real resentment is also because their staying at home allows their husbands careers to take off which is a big advantage over working women with no such luxury.