Colleges that do NOT push individual pronouns

[Anonymous]

Look, OP and people agreeing with OP.

Consider this a matter of courtesy. A person you just met asks you, explicitly, to address them in a certain way. It is extremely rude to question that or use a different manner of address than they asked. If you aren’t comfortable specifying pronouns, then don’t. But if someone else tells you which ones to use when talking to them or about them, respect that request. It costs you nothing to be polite.

[Anonymous]

I shouldn’t be expected to participate in someone else’s delusion.

If I want to be addressed as Your Majesty, how many people do you think would oblige?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I attended a SLAC and graduated in 2016. In the final two years, pronouns really picked up steam and at various classes, conferences, & extracurricular activities it was expected that when you say your name, you ask say your pronoun. In fact because they didn’t want to “other” the genderqueer and trans community members, it was considered offensive if you passed or made any comment to the unimportance of yours or others’ pronouns. The hardest part though was that some in the gender queer community changed their preferred pronouns at different points (not just one and done). Then you were expected to know what exactly they went by at the time when they could from as an example she to they to they/he to they to they/she to they.

I cannot possibly be the only person to think this expectation is insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm not sure you deserve all the bashing you're getting. I'm not a fan of forcing everyone to "declare" their pronouns, although I have zero issue with addressing people respectfully in the way that they prefer. I don't know that any of this stuff is as prevalent as some of the media or activist community makes it seem. I have a colleague who is very outspoken on these issues and has insisted that "all young people" introduce themselves with their pronouns. But that's not my experience - I have taught classes at a local university and regularly interact with college students and recent grads. I think I've had one student, total, mention their pronouns to me. I've asked my oldest kid, who's in HS in a very liberal area, whether this is a thing and the frequency there seems very low as well.

No one is being forced. It is an option. Option being optional.

It is NOT optional. Two of my childen attend what this forum considers elite colleges. Both orientations had forced to-do lists which included specifying your pronouns and signing a pledge to only use others' chosen pronouns. You can get in SERIOUS trouble if you even inadvertently call someone the wrong pronoun!

I agree with this poster. I attended a SLAC and graduated in 2016. In the final two years, pronouns really picked up steam and at various classes, conferences, & extracurricular activities it was expected that when you say your name, you ask say your pronoun. In fact because they didn’t want to “other” the genderqueer and trans community members, it was considered offensive if you passed or made any comment to the unimportance of yours or others’ pronouns. The hardest part though was that some in the gender queer community changed their preferred pronouns at different points (not just one and done). Then you were expected to know what exactly they went by at the time when they could from as an example she to they to they/he to they to they/she to they.

Do you get that there are some places where it IS entirely optional, though? I would venture to say most businesses, organizations and universities? I get that there are some places/communities where It's a Whole Thing if you don't fully participate. But...most places, it's just an option you can exercise, and it's really not a big deal if you don't.

So you don't get to declare "it's not optional" like that's a universal truth! I would never say "it's always optional," because that is also not true. Let's look at everything rationally and realistically, yes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I shouldn’t be expected to participate in someone else’s delusion.

If I want to be addressed as Your Majesty, how many people do you think would oblige?

I agree with this. Why not just name? Brian signifies male. Sarah female.


Hi I’m MRS I got breast implants Sarah. Or I’m a dog because I don’t like humans. Make sure you say that every time. Pronouns are ridiculous because it’s just a reminder look at me and my lifestyle. I don’t blame OP for choosing this way. Yes there are other factors but indoctrination of all thoughts is scary and this is what it’s doing. I respect science and this is very silly creepy. You can be trans, fine. But don’t force everyone to change themselves. No one around the world does this. It’s 0.01 percent of the US population. Not exact number but you get the point. Immigrants who have two last names don’t go around forcing everyone to put two last names around because they do that in their country, but they make up a higher population count.

[Anonymous]

Eh, OP is a troll trying to stir up trouble.

Most college staff and faculty don't worry about "pronouns" they have more important things to do. They will call you by your first name, last name you list when enrolling. Nobody walks around at a university calling everyone Ms. larla or Mr. larlo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh, OP is a troll trying to stir up trouble.

Most college staff and faculty don't worry about "pronouns" they have more important things to do. They will call you by your first name, last name you list when enrolling. Nobody walks around at a university calling everyone Ms. larla or Mr. larlo.

OP here. I really wanted to know what people think. Would some reputable universities in the South (Vanderbilt, Wake Forest, Baylor, SMU, Ole Miss, 'Bama) still assume that most people are binary?

[Anonymous]

OP again. Also, do truly intersex people resent that so many young people are jumping on the nonbinary bandwagon? If I want an accommodation at work, such as braille text, I need a doctor's note asserting that I am blind. If someone needs some sort of an intersex accommodation, couldn't a doctor's note also be provided? "LarlX is intersex. LarlX needs a single room or understanding roommate. LarlX should not be referred to as 'he' or 'she'." I don't get an accommodation just because I "think" I'm blind, I have to actually BE blind in order to get an accommodation. Are we all to announce our abilities, too? As in "Hi, I'm Larla. I have ADHD and dysgraphia. I also have mild PTSD. Please tread carefully."

[Anonymous]

Are Oxford and Cambridge pushing people to declare their pronouns, too? How about Toronto and McGill?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, OP is a troll trying to stir up trouble.

Most college staff and faculty don't worry about "pronouns" they have more important things to do. They will call you by your first name, last name you list when enrolling. Nobody walks around at a university calling everyone Ms. larla or Mr. larlo.

OP here. I really wanted to know what people think. Would some reputable universities in the South (Vanderbilt, Wake Forest, Baylor, SMU, Ole Miss, 'Bama) still assume that most people are binary?

I'm that pp and a former (southern) college administrator. You are overthinking pp. Again, most university staff don't freaking care what gender your precious child identifies as, even at Wake Forest. They are busy trying to get x number of freshmen up to speed. The closest thing your kid is going to get to a "pronoun" is y'all or you guys (north.)

Maybe individual dorm RAs or student activity staff might ask an individual what they prefer, to be polite.

Again, my interest is (1l) do the parents / student have the money to pay for their education? and (2) getting those hundreds or thousands of students in the university pipeline, housed, feed, and ready to learn. I can't think of one instance where I've asked someone a "pronoun." You, they, them, y'all, you all you guys are pretty useful, even 20 years ago when I started.

And sure, even at southern colleges, there may an RA or professor who asks for a "preferred pronoun" here and there, to try to be inclusive.

[Anonymous]

And...if someone asks your pwecious baby to share a pronoun, he or she can simply say “I’m good” or “I’d rather not share,” and everyone will move on with their freaking day.

[Anonymous]

The reality nowadays is the GLBT non binary fixation is
encountered even at community colleges in the south.

I live in a southern town in which our Division I college
has 75,000 students....55,000 undergrad and 20,000
graduate level. Our community college has 35,000
students.

In my town the members of the GLBT non binary population get jobs at the colleges. Typically they will start at $10 per hour clerical jobs and then move around within
the college system and their friends will get them in
higher level jobs. They also work in the admissions
office in decision level roles at the community college.

Given the small percentage of the population the
alternative lifestyle is very in your face on campuses
and community colleges even in the South.

[Anonymous]

It's one thing for someone who is not what you think to announce as much, but it's another thing when males who identify as males and females who identify as females go around making sure everyone thinks what they already think.

If you are a sincerely compassionate and inclusive person, that will shine through to everyone you meet. You won't need to signal it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really amusing to see how administrators handle room assignments for nonbinary and transgender teens when going on overnight trips.

Examples?

This came up at my DC's school. Administrators made students room with students of the same biological sex. They didn't want any pregnancies happening. Students could pay extra for fewer roommates if they wanted.

Clearly they fail to understand some fundamental things.

What did the administrators fail to understand? Don't you know transmen who date/marry other men? Can't the transman become pregnant? Do we now cancel school trips?

[Anonymous]

Hey, what if you forget? I am bad with names when meeting multiple people in a short time span. I could just as easily forget your designated gender. I can get in trouble for that?