Just saw my pretty 45yo sorority sister divorced and is dating a 67yo man. Common or alarming gap?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the preoccupation with how she looks? Last I checked there were a multitude of other factors that bring people together besides similar age range.
Similar interests.
Similar tastes.
Compatible temperaments/personalities.
Affinity and appreciation for one another acquired over time.
List goes on and on. It's not always about looks.

And again balding used as an insult.

Isn’t nearly every 70 year old man pretty bald? I didn’t take it as a jab, more so just another cue he’s a geriatric.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was my aunt and uncle 15 years ago. She is still vibrant and would have an active social life were she not dealing with his frequent health crises for the last 7 years. She can’t travel like she thought she would. In a word, it sucks for her and she tells every young woman she knows not to marry an old man.

This was my in-laws. The rich hubby finally passed at age 80 after about 12 years of health issues. And his estate wasn’t anywhere near what it was when he was a law partner with a fat salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I know a woman who married a much older man when she was in her low to mid 40s. Fast forward 2 decades, and she stands to inherit a substantial amount of money and real estate. Not to mention the fact that she hasn't had to work for the last 2 decades, has literally traveled the world thanks to him, and never has to worry about money. She's basically set for life.

So she pissed away her 40s - 60s with an old man to “enjoy” a haul when she’s an old bag? Dream big.

PP is right! She smartly made a good choice to have a nice life. Most of the woman I know hate their jobs but have to work. PPs friend can easily find a companion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I know a woman who married a much older man when she was in her low to mid 40s. Fast forward 2 decades, and she stands to inherit a substantial amount of money and real estate. Not to mention the fact that she hasn't had to work for the last 2 decades, has literally traveled the world thanks to him, and never has to worry about money. She's basically set for life.

So she pissed away her 40s - 60s with an old man to “enjoy” a haul when she’s an old bag? Dream big.

NP, but why do you think her 40s-60s were miserable? She could have just divorced and gotten half. Traveling the world and not working sounds pretty good to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

DP. No dog in this fight as I'm a 30-something woman with a cute but non-wealthy husband my own age. Just curious... does it bother these older men to know that they're essentially buying the love and companionship of that woman? Like, do men ever think, if I were just some average middle class schlub, the woman I'm with would never want me, and if I lose my money, she would probably bail. Maybe I'm thinking like a woman...

You are. Most men in this situation are only thinking, good for me.

The lawyer I worked for said explicitly "It's a good thing that I make a lot of money, because it got me a hot wife."

There was a psychology study a few years ago that concluded men often pick careers that pay more so that they can attract women. Thanks capitalism.

Would love to read that study but of course its true. If garbage collectors attracted women the same way as hedge fund managers or doctors, you would see most men gravitate towards that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s rich. Plus, maybe she had an absentee father.

+1

Nailed it. Daddy issues, OP. Be glad you are not her!

[Anonymous]

I am 40 and in love with a 58 yo. It happens.

[Anonymous]

Are there any Facebook pictures with the couple and his kids? I bet they're not happy a gold digger menopausal mother is creeping on their estate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are studies about this. Very few people marry with age gaps for the FIRST marriage. For second marriage, there are gaps.

WEALTHY goes for YOUNGER. So the claims on this forum regarding "what men want" if they can "get it" is true.

Men with resources will more often prefer to go for the hottest young thing they can find. At least that is what the studies say is more common. Note these are men who are wealthy.

I think it's gross.

Any time I see an attractive, successful 50+ guy who choose to date/marry a true peer I will throw roses, bow before him, and applaud.

Women as life partners should not = Barbie dolls who tell you you're amazing and smart. FFS. And women, you are worth more than what type of guy your body can attract.

Divorced moms, or moms who had kids young, know to go for rich men - they've already been poor, and it sucks. I know a late thirties-early forties divorced woman who married a guy in his seventies. Guess what? He's not poor. She saw him coming a mile away! Now, her family gets treated to overseas trips at least once a year - about forty of her "closest" relatives. LOL. Good luck to him, if that is how he wants to blow his money, or if he somehow convinced himself she "really loves" him. I wouldn't want to be him, I would feel totally used because it is soooo obvious, but that is just me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I know a woman who married a much older man when she was in her low to mid 40s. Fast forward 2 decades, and she stands to inherit a substantial amount of money and real estate. Not to mention the fact that she hasn't had to work for the last 2 decades, has literally traveled the world thanks to him, and never has to worry about money. She's basically set for life.

So she pissed away her 40s - 60s with an old man to “enjoy” a haul when she’s an old bag? Dream big.

She spent 20 years not working, traveling the world, and spending money. Sounds like a good deal to me. I'm going to spend age 45-65 sitting in an office chair and fighting traffic every day. Much less fun!

She just better make sure his will doesn't leave everything to the animal shelter or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

DP. No dog in this fight as I'm a 30-something woman with a cute but non-wealthy husband my own age. Just curious... does it bother these older men to know that they're essentially buying the love and companionship of that woman? Like, do men ever think, if I were just some average middle class schlub, the woman I'm with would never want me, and if I lose my money, she would probably bail. Maybe I'm thinking like a woman...

You are. Most men in this situation are only thinking, good for me.

The lawyer I worked for said explicitly "It's a good thing that I make a lot of money, because it got me a hot wife."

There was a psychology study a few years ago that concluded men often pick careers that pay more so that they can attract women. Thanks capitalism.

Capitalism isn't the source of it. Men fought for wealth so they could get women long before there was capitalism. We'd still be living in caves if women didn't bestow the magical treasure between their legs on the wealthiest guy around.

[Anonymous]

Divorced moms, or moms who had kids young, know to go for rich men - they've already been poor, and it sucks. I know a late thirties-early forties divorced woman who married a guy in his seventies. Guess what? He's not poor. She saw him coming a mile away! Now, her family gets treated to overseas trips at least once a year - about forty of her "closest" relatives. LOL. Good luck to him, if that is how he wants to blow his money, or if he somehow convinced himself she "really loves" him. I wouldn't want to be him, I would feel totally used because it is soooo obvious, but that is just me.

I will give you a guy perspective on that. Namely, an "age-appropriate" woman for him (say, age 60+) would also be after his money. All women, everywhere, of every age, prefer a rich man to a poor man. With all women, everywhere, of every age, you're only as good as what you can do for them today. An older woman would no more "really love him" than a younger one would. So, as him, if you're gonna get used for your money anyway, you might as well get your money's worth with the younger/hotter/tighter model.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

DP. No dog in this fight as I'm a 30-something woman with a cute but non-wealthy husband my own age. Just curious... does it bother these older men to know that they're essentially buying the love and companionship of that woman? Like, do men ever think, if I were just some average middle class schlub, the woman I'm with would never want me, and if I lose my money, she would probably bail. Maybe I'm thinking like a woman...

You are. Most men in this situation are only thinking, good for me.

The lawyer I worked for said explicitly "It's a good thing that I make a lot of money, because it got me a hot wife."

There was a psychology study a few years ago that concluded men often pick careers that pay more so that they can attract women. Thanks capitalism.

Don’t you mean, “thanks biology”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Divorced moms, or moms who had kids young, know to go for rich men - they've already been poor, and it sucks. I know a late thirties-early forties divorced woman who married a guy in his seventies. Guess what? He's not poor. She saw him coming a mile away! Now, her family gets treated to overseas trips at least once a year - about forty of her "closest" relatives. LOL. Good luck to him, if that is how he wants to blow his money, or if he somehow convinced himself she "really loves" him. I wouldn't want to be him, I would feel totally used because it is soooo obvious, but that is just me.

I will give you a guy perspective on that. Namely, an "age-appropriate" woman for him (say, age 60+) would also be after his money. All women, everywhere, of every age, prefer a rich man to a poor man. With all women, everywhere, of every age, you're only as good as what you can do for them today. An older woman would no more "really love him" than a younger one would. So, as him, if you're gonna get used for your money anyway, you might as well get your money's worth with the younger/hotter/tighter model.

This is so true!

[Anonymous]

My Dad is 66 and is in very good shape, has a full head of hair, is retired after a very successful career and is certainly well off. When he first used a dating site a couple of years ago he did not specify an age range that he was interested in but he was very surprised by the number of women in their 40’s who reached out to him. I’m sure they had googled him or tracked him down on LinkedIn and found out about his background and saw that he likely had money. I’m 38 and it blew me away as these women were close to my age. He never went into a lot of detail about his dating life but I’m sure he went out with some of them. He’s now seeing a woman in her mid 50’s who actually looks like she is in her 40’s but she is definitely more age appropriate.