Just saw my pretty 45yo sorority sister divorced and is dating a 67yo man. Common or alarming gap?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:maybe he’s rich or maybe she likes him

Or both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May not be common but it's not so uncommon that you should be having a fit about it.

It’s just striking because she could pass for 35yo, which seems like it’d make her top of the singles scene. But maybe not. I’m not in that loop so I haven’t a clue, hence why I asked you all. It genuinely looks weird to see her smooching this old man in her pics.

Yes but many men in her age group are recently divorced too. Many are starting over with kids with strapped finances. Maybe she's a little smarter and tired of the rat race. Honestly, that's the only reason to date a guy that much older. Each to their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:maybe he’s rich or maybe she likes him

Or both.

Probably millions of reasons to like him. Wouldn't be difficult...

[Anonymous]

Common.
One of my high school classmates (we're in our early 50s) married a rich 90 year old guy.

[Anonymous]

Last year, a casual friend of mine, who is 33, attractive and in shape, divorced from her equally attractive husband (who is the same age). She is now dating a man who is 15 years older, not particularly physically attractive, and not even the least bit well off. In fact he probably makes less than she does, as she is an IT professional and he's a high school teacher. People on FB make "is that your dad?" jokes. Behind her back they say "She went from Ex to that guy? Clearly not an upgrade".

So, why? New boyfriend is a nice man. He is very kind to her - he's kind to everyone, in general. He treats her like a princess. He is outdoorsy just like she is, and they have the same hobbies. They are always on the go. Yes, they look a little weird together and she's definitely a lot more attractive. She seems pretty happy though.

Maybe your friend is a gold digger. Maybe she's got daddy issues. Or maybe she just clicked with someone and is enjoying life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Common.
One of my high school classmates (we're in our early 50s) married a rich 90 year old guy.

Now, that's a bit much, doncha think?
A 67-year-old, despite looking gray, might still be in a decent shape. A 90-year-old, even in our time and age, is an old fossil, any way you slice it. I hope he's REALLY rich!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you're apparently 45 yo or so, and used the phrase "super cute" twice in your initial post. You've got bigger issues than who acquaintances from long ago are dating.

"super cute," "sorority sister," "gal," the hits keep coming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you be alarmed?

It caught me off guard to see such a cute and fit 45yo making out with a guy 22 years her senior. He’s not a bad looking guy for his age, but I think the age gap is striking because she looks so darn good for her age. But at the same time it’s only 22 years and not a ridiculous 30 or 40 year gap, so I wasn’t sure if this is that abnormal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never use Facebook and randomly jumped on this afternoon. I see a gal I went to college with, who’s always been super cute, in a bunch of pictures with what appeared to be her dad. Nope. She divorced and is dating a 67yo man. Is this normal? She’s in terrific shape, youthful face, still super cute! Good career and two teen kids. The man looks his age, I suppose, but he’s balding and grey, she’s this energetic yoga addict, so the big age gap is really obvious. It does seem like he dotes on her and he may be well off. But it seems she could easily find a successful guy closer to her age.

I think this setup is pretty common in academia. DH works at a university and a lot of his colleagues are married to significantly younger women (usually, a second marriage for him and a first for her).

[Anonymous]

It’s not normal. There are plenty of divorced men in their forties and early fifties she could be dating.

[Anonymous]

I'm 38 and one of my high school classmates just married a guy who has to be 60. It's her first marriage. He is clearly loaded beyond belief, but it just seems like such a cliche from the outside. But who knows, maybe they are a great match.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last year, a casual friend of mine, who is 33, attractive and in shape, divorced from her equally attractive husband (who is the same age). She is now dating a man who is 15 years older, not particularly physically attractive, and not even the least bit well off. In fact he probably makes less than she does, as she is an IT professional and he's a high school teacher. People on FB make "is that your dad?" jokes. Behind her back they say "She went from Ex to that guy? Clearly not an upgrade".

So, why? New boyfriend is a nice man. He is very kind to her - he's kind to everyone, in general. He treats her like a princess. He is outdoorsy just like she is, and they have the same hobbies. They are always on the go. Yes, they look a little weird together and she's definitely a lot more attractive. She seems pretty happy though.

Maybe your friend is a gold digger. Maybe she's got daddy issues. Or maybe she just clicked with someone and is enjoying life.

How do you know he's not a upgrade PP? Her 1st husband could have been a real P_ick. Maybe he was a cheater to boot. Maybe this guy is a HUGE upgrade.

[Anonymous]

What is the preoccupation with how she looks? Last I checked there were a multitude of other factors that bring people together besides similar age range.
Similar interests.
Similar tastes.
Compatible temperaments/personalities.
Affinity and appreciation for one another acquired over time.
List goes on and on. It's not always about looks.

[Anonymous]

OP is almost certainly overestimating the attractiveness of a 45yo divorced woman with kids. Older guy is likely the best she could do.

"it seems she could easily find a successful guy closer to her age" -- you may think so but obviously she could not. Single successful guys her age can get much younger women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last year, a casual friend of mine, who is 33, attractive and in shape, divorced from her equally attractive husband (who is the same age). She is now dating a man who is 15 years older, not particularly physically attractive, and not even the least bit well off. In fact he probably makes less than she does, as she is an IT professional and he's a high school teacher. People on FB make "is that your dad?" jokes. Behind her back they say "She went from Ex to that guy? Clearly not an upgrade".

So, why? New boyfriend is a nice man. He is very kind to her - he's kind to everyone, in general. He treats her like a princess. He is outdoorsy just like she is, and they have the same hobbies. They are always on the go. Yes, they look a little weird together and she's definitely a lot more attractive. She seems pretty happy though.

Maybe your friend is a gold digger. Maybe she's got daddy issues. Or maybe she just clicked with someone and is enjoying life.

How do you know he's not a upgrade PP? Her 1st husband could have been a real P_ick. Maybe he was a cheater to boot. Maybe this guy is a HUGE upgrade.

I didn't say he wasn't an upgrade. People in her close friend group (this is my husband's friend group) are saying that, based on the fact that the new boyfriend is much older, less physically attractive than the ex, and isn't well off.

I don't know the new boyfriend, but do know her ex and I am not a fan. He isn't a cheater. But he is a super smart, snarky type and not what I would describe as a nice person. I always got the impression he thought he was smarter than everyone around him and the way he spoke to people (including his wife) was borderline mean. New guy seems very gentle and kind, and I think she's enjoying not having someone talk down to her for a change.