Give me a reality check on if I'm being a b****

[Anonymous]

I'm team this is bs and dh should be helping his wife. I have a large family and extended family and have been in and to many weddings. I've never had someone volun-tell me that I had to help set up. Obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been to many weddings but one of the oddest was like this. First we were asked to dress all in white to play croquet at a park in the middle of summer. Then when we got there — surprise— we were the help. So we all served food moved chairs set up tents etc etc. The bride (age 50+) looked like she was going to cry the whole time the groom poured drinks and myself and the best man cracked crab claws. Weird wedding !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it's her wedding, she should arrange actual paid help if she needs it. Plus, it's odd she'd ask someone for help who is visiting, not local.

It’s asinine to ask out of town relatives with TWO toddlers to do this. She’s full on bridezilla territory with this request.

You have been very fortunate to never deal with an actual bridezilla because this is nowhere close to that, Princess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Not in my family we help out even if you don’t plan perfectly.

Exactly. Call me nuts, but a wedding weekend is all about the couple. I would do anything in my power to make sure my sister had a good weekend. If if things were planned hastily. Even if it meant I was more stressed and had some cranky children. In fact, I would want my children to learn that they should step up for each other one day.

Exactly ... my kids help after assemblies with chairs and every Christmas and thanksgiving they make a dish. Families contribute and pitch in.

OP's kids are 1 and 3. You are really telling me that at age 1 your kid was stacking chairs after assemblies and cooking Christmas dinner?

Bride and Groom need to get this handled themselves. They should post on local message board forums, facebook groups, ask friends, etc. and come up with a team of 2-4 high school/college kids that want to earn some money and PAY them to do this. I have teenage sons and they do things like this frequently.

[Anonymous]

I'm the PP that mentioned her teenage sons get paid for "set up" jobs like this. I wonder what is SIL's plan for the breakdown after the wedding? Will she expect guests to do that too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Not in my family we help out even if you don’t plan perfectly.

Exactly. Call me nuts, but a wedding weekend is all about the couple. I would do anything in my power to make sure my sister had a good weekend. If if things were planned hastily. Even if it meant I was more stressed and had some cranky children. In fact, I would want my children to learn that they should step up for each other one day.

Exactly ... my kids help after assemblies with chairs and every Christmas and thanksgiving they make a dish. Families contribute and pitch in.

OP's kids are 1 and 3. You are really telling me that at age 1 your kid was stacking chairs after assemblies and cooking Christmas dinner?

Bride and Groom need to get this handled themselves. They should post on local message board forums, facebook groups, ask friends, etc. and come up with a team of 2-4 high school/college kids that want to earn some money and PAY them to do this. I have teenage sons and they do things like this frequently.

They started at 5... progressively doing more starting with cheese and crackers ... moving on to mashed potatoes and green beans.

But we are family and we help each other out so most likely there would a 12 year old cousin that would play with my 1 and 3 year old while I helped SIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP that mentioned her teenage sons get paid for "set up" jobs like this. I wonder what is SIL's plan for the breakdown after the wedding? Will she expect guests to do that too?

It will happen the next morning and yes family will help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Not in my family we help out even if you don’t plan perfectly.

Exactly. Call me nuts, but a wedding weekend is all about the couple. I would do anything in my power to make sure my sister had a good weekend. If if things were planned hastily. Even if it meant I was more stressed and had some cranky children. In fact, I would want my children to learn that they should step up for each other one day.

Exactly ... my kids help after assemblies with chairs and every Christmas and thanksgiving they make a dish. Families contribute and pitch in.

OP's kids are 1 and 3. You are really telling me that at age 1 your kid was stacking chairs after assemblies and cooking Christmas dinner?

Bride and Groom need to get this handled themselves. They should post on local message board forums, facebook groups, ask friends, etc. and come up with a team of 2-4 high school/college kids that want to earn some money and PAY them to do this. I have teenage sons and they do things like this frequently.

They started at 5... progressively doing more starting with cheese and crackers ... moving on to mashed potatoes and green beans.

But we are family and we help each other out so most likely there would a 12 year old cousin that would play with my 1 and 3 year old while I helped SIL.

And OP already stated that they are the only ones with kids so far, so no older cousins.

In my family, the 12 year old cousin would be helping to set up the chairs.

[Anonymous]

Your DH should help as it’s his sister getting married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did YOU insert yourself at all? This type of communication and plan needs to be worked out directly by siblings. You support whatever your husband decides. End of story.

What???

Marriage is a partnership.

I hate the whole, your family, you deal with it mantra. DW gets a say.

[Anonymous]

All the "family help family" PPs are out of line here. The OP and her DH have two toddlers and they are traveling out of town. Even in a "family that helps family", asking them to set up for the wedding is idiotic. The fact that they are traveling to the wedding with two very small children is what they are doing for the couple. Sounds like SIL is clueless. Lots of people who don't have kids yet behave like this. Hopefully someday she'll apologize for such ridiculous expectations. She needs to find other people to help setup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Not in my family we help out even if you don’t plan perfectly.

Exactly. Call me nuts, but a wedding weekend is all about the couple. I would do anything in my power to make sure my sister had a good weekend. If if things were planned hastily. Even if it meant I was more stressed and had some cranky children. In fact, I would want my children to learn that they should step up for each other one day.

Exactly ... my kids help after assemblies with chairs and every Christmas and thanksgiving they make a dish. Families contribute and pitch in.

OP's kids are 1 and 3. You are really telling me that at age 1 your kid was stacking chairs after assemblies and cooking Christmas dinner?

Bride and Groom need to get this handled themselves. They should post on local message board forums, facebook groups, ask friends, etc. and come up with a team of 2-4 high school/college kids that want to earn some money and PAY them to do this. I have teenage sons and they do things like this frequently.

They started at 5... progressively doing more starting with cheese and crackers ... moving on to mashed potatoes and green beans.

But we are family and we help each other out so most likely there would a 12 year old cousin that would play with my 1 and 3 year old while I helped SIL.

And OP already stated that they are the only ones with kids so far, so no older cousins.

In my family, the 12 year old cousin would be helping to set up the chairs.

Exactly. I doubt OP is the only person asked to help, they will show up and there will be more people... young friends, neighbors, her family, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the "family help family" PPs are out of line here. The OP and her DH have two toddlers and they are traveling out of town. Even in a "family that helps family", asking them to set up for the wedding is idiotic. The fact that they are traveling to the wedding with two very small children is what they are doing for the couple. Sounds like SIL is clueless. Lots of people who don't have kids yet behave like this. Hopefully someday she'll apologize for such ridiculous expectations. She needs to find other people to help setup.

You sound exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a cheap bride and groom. Who asks guests to help set up. Sounds like they can’t afford the wedding. Eloping is OK. Asking guests, who have travelled in for your wedding, to help, is NOT.

OP is a b*** but you’re worse.

Call me crazy but I’d OFFER to help my sibling with whatever they needed. But, I’m not a self righteous a**hole.

OP is not a b*tch. You are clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the "family help family" PPs are out of line here. The OP and her DH have two toddlers and they are traveling out of town. Even in a "family that helps family", asking them to set up for the wedding is idiotic. The fact that they are traveling to the wedding with two very small children is what they are doing for the couple. Sounds like SIL is clueless. Lots of people who don't have kids yet behave like this. Hopefully someday she'll apologize for such ridiculous expectations. She needs to find other people to help setup.

You sound exhausting.

You sound clueless like the SIL. Have you traveled with a pair of kids under 4?

Don't get how pointing out how out-of-touch SIL is is "exhausting".