Give me a reality check on if I'm being a b****

[Anonymous]

That is really cheap but why can't your husband pitch in while you watch the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did YOU insert yourself at all? This type of communication and plan needs to be worked out directly by siblings. You support whatever your husband decides. End of story.

OP here. I didn't insert myself. She called me and asked. I said I didn't think we'd be able to. If people think it's reasonable for DH to go off and help set up, then that's what I'll suggest

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a cheap bride and groom. Who asks guests to help set up. Sounds like they can’t afford the wedding. Eloping is OK. Asking guests, who have travelled in for your wedding, to help, is NOT.

When I got married, my sister helped with all kinds of stuff, including logistics. I did the same for her wedding. Isn’t that what siblings do? Do you really treat your brother/sister the same as every other guest?

OP, your DH is the bride’s brother. He should help. You should take care of your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH goes to help. You take care of the kids. Very straightforward.

Yeah. Why is "we" are not available to help. Your DH absolutely could.

+2

+3 Are you dense, OP? This is pretty clearly what the sister was asking of her brother. She wasn't expecting you to haul your kids around so no need to make a big issue out of it and go around acting like you were put upon.

OP here again. She called me. She specifically asked if "we" could help. Not sure why that makes me dense.

[Anonymous]

Family helps family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH goes to help. You take care of the kids. Very straightforward.

Yeah. Why is "we" are not available to help. Your DH absolutely could.

+2

+3 Are you dense, OP? This is pretty clearly what the sister was asking of her brother. She wasn't expecting you to haul your kids around so no need to make a big issue out of it and go around acting like you were put upon.

OP here again. She called me. She specifically asked if "we" could help. Not sure why that makes me dense.

How exactly did she ask your whole family to help by using the word “we” in the request? I think it’s grammatically impossible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH goes to help. You take care of the kids. Very straightforward.

Yeah. Why is "we" are not available to help. Your DH absolutely could.

+2

+3 Are you dense, OP? This is pretty clearly what the sister was asking of her brother. She wasn't expecting you to haul your kids around so no need to make a big issue out of it and go around acting like you were put upon.

-1. It’s totally ridiculous to ask out of town wedding guests to put up tents for your wedding. OP is being put upon if she or her DH assists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH goes to help. You take care of the kids. Very straightforward.

Yeah. Why is "we" are not available to help. Your DH absolutely could.

+2

+3 Are you dense, OP? This is pretty clearly what the sister was asking of her brother. She wasn't expecting you to haul your kids around so no need to make a big issue out of it and go around acting like you were put upon.

-1. It’s totally ridiculous to ask out of town wedding guests to put up tents for your wedding. OP is being put upon if she or her DH assists.

There is no right way to throw a wedding. Some people have a party in their back yard and have tents and tables and chairs. It's not right or wrong.

Get out a bit!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH goes to help. You take care of the kids. Very straightforward.

Yeah. Why is "we" are not available to help. Your DH absolutely could.

+2

+3 Are you dense, OP? This is pretty clearly what the sister was asking of her brother. She wasn't expecting you to haul your kids around so no need to make a big issue out of it and go around acting like you were put upon.

-1. It’s totally ridiculous to ask out of town wedding guests to put up tents for your wedding. OP is being put upon if she or her DH assists.

Jesus Christmas I am so glad I don't have such easily annoyed, uncooperative siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a cheap bride and groom. Who asks guests to help set up. Sounds like they can’t afford the wedding. Eloping is OK. Asking guests, who have travelled in for your wedding, to help, is NOT.

When I got married, my sister helped with all kinds of stuff, including logistics. I did the same for her wedding. Isn’t that what siblings do? Do you really treat your brother/sister the same as every other guest?

OP, your DH is the bride’s brother. He should help. You should take care of your kids.

No you treat siblings like the VIP guests they are and not hired help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH goes to help. You take care of the kids. Very straightforward.

Yeah. Why is "we" are not available to help. Your DH absolutely could.

+2

+3 Are you dense, OP? This is pretty clearly what the sister was asking of her brother. She wasn't expecting you to haul your kids around so no need to make a big issue out of it and go around acting like you were put upon.

OP here again. She called me. She specifically asked if "we" could help. Not sure why that makes me dense.

How exactly did she ask your whole family to help by using the word “we” in the request? I think it’s grammatically impossible.

Don't be obtuse. It's obvious that SIL said something like "can you all help setup".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH goes to help. You take care of the kids. Very straightforward.

Yeah. Why is "we" are not available to help. Your DH absolutely could.

+2

+3 Are you dense, OP? This is pretty clearly what the sister was asking of her brother. She wasn't expecting you to haul your kids around so no need to make a big issue out of it and go around acting like you were put upon.

OP here again. She called me. She specifically asked if "we" could help. Not sure why that makes me dense.

How exactly did she ask your whole family to help by using the word “we” in the request? I think it’s grammatically impossible.

Don't be obtuse. It's obvious that SIL said something like "can you all help setup".

Then don’t continuously quote the word “we”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH goes to help. You take care of the kids. Very straightforward.

Yeah. Why is "we" are not available to help. Your DH absolutely could.

+2

+3 Are you dense, OP? This is pretty clearly what the sister was asking of her brother. She wasn't expecting you to haul your kids around so no need to make a big issue out of it and go around acting like you were put upon.

Well if the DH is driving their car, that means that OP and kids are stranded in a hotel room with 2 kids, so it is a big deal. I think she’s being clueless about how exhausting it is to travel with children - especially toddlers. This is super annoying. Are you guys the first to have kids in the family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH goes to help. You take care of the kids. Very straightforward.

Yeah. Why is "we" are not available to help. Your DH absolutely could.

+2

+3 Are you dense, OP? This is pretty clearly what the sister was asking of her brother. She wasn't expecting you to haul your kids around so no need to make a big issue out of it and go around acting like you were put upon.

OP here again. She called me. She specifically asked if "we" could help. Not sure why that makes me dense.

How exactly did she ask your whole family to help by using the word “we” in the request? I think it’s grammatically impossible.

Don't be obtuse. It's obvious that SIL said something like "can you all help setup".

Or SIL called OP and said “can you and DH help set up?”

For the sake of the thread let’s take OP at her word that she understood what her SIL said on the phone. Now, without changing the facts, what do you think she should do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Can you afford to offer to hire some college kids to do it?

No, you can’t do it with 2 littles ones. The bride obviously has no clue, but you should.

Bring the kids so she can see for herself how impossible it is.
Have your husband call her. Give her the benefit or the doubt that she's just clueless or wants to see the kids. Ask her straight up give if she wants him to come alone and if not warn him one of you two will always be occupied during setup.

You aren't necessarily a B, but your could be a little kinder. Think of it as a wedding gift.