Another question about splitting bills during family vacation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is somewhat similar to the thread about splitting the cost of food, but I need a reality check here. We are taking a beach vacation with my sister and her family (3 kids, ages 5, 8, 11). We are renting a house that has more bedrooms than we actually need, and have agreed to split that down the middle. Any meal eaten out we will get separate checks. The question is about other groceries during the week. DH and I have an infant who will be breastfeeding. Sister suggested we just take one massive trip to Costco and split the food bill 50/50 - but she's got 5 eaters in her family and we've got two. Is that fair? Or is it not even worth it to point out that her boys eat a ton and 2 vs 5 isn't exactly down the middle. Be honest, I can take it!

OP, I think your sister is either (1) not realizing what she's saying or (2) trying to take advantage of you. You paid more for the house than necessary given than you're taking up 1/4 of the space and paying 1/2 the price. The food should not be the same scenario. Maybe your sister just doesn't realize this? In which case I'd advocate for you to explain to her how this isn't fair. Or she's trying to take advantage of you, in which case you need to just say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When vacationing with kids and also driving to a destination, I usually pre-purchased the non perishables so I didn't have to bother at the higher price beach town grocery stores. Maybe I am the only one tho...

I do a little. Paper goods, detergents, wine, bottled water, cereals, preferred snack bars, etc.

+1. I have a standard list of stuff to bring from home. Also bring spices I know we'll need, since we won't use a whole bottle in a week. I also like not having to go to the store the minute we arrive. Beach stores are usually very crowded on "turnover day" and it's much less hassle the next day.

[Anonymous]

Out of curiosity how you guys host holidays? For example my SIL has 9 children does it mean we should charge her for attending holidays in our house?

[Anonymous]

Why in your first post do you say the house has more bedrooms than you need but then complain about the division of the bedrooms? Honestly, unless you speak up for whatever it is you’re feeling, OP, you’re going to be irritated and on edge. This is not going to be a good vacation unless you make peace with this now. Personally the grocery thing sound pretty petty to me. Just push back on the Costco thing cause that will be too much stuff for a week...then you’ll feel upset about how all the leftovers are handled! Come up with a reasonable plan (regular grocery store) and make a plan now that you’re comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

Why didn’t you demand two bedrooms for your family of 4 or make arrangements that cousins stay together? That makes no sense. Since the beginning of time beachhouses have bedrooms with twin and bunk beds intended for multiple kids. Tell you sis that you need two bedrooms. She can have 3. You split the house cost so it’s completely fair. You and DH need to be able to be in a room alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Out of curiosity how you guys host holidays? For example my SIL has 9 children does it mean we should charge her for attending holidays in our house?

NP. In a holiday hosting scenario, the hosts take on the cost and work of hosting, and the guests incur the cost and work of travel.

In a shared beach house, everyone is sharing I'm the cost of travel, lodging/food, and travel.

Not apples to apples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I was close with my sister, I would say something like:

“You guys are getting 4 out 5 bedrooms and we’re paying half for the house rental. I think it would be a nice gesture if you guys bought the Costco groceries since you have more people.”

I have a feeling this Costco trip is going to make you feel taken advantage of. You’re already getting a crap deal on the house and your sister is going to buy so much crap for the kids to eat, you’re going to be shocked at the price. I have 2 kids and I never get out of Costco without spending a few hundred. Really, speak up. It’s okay to say something.

+1 I think your sister is either tone deaf or cheap

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Out of curiosity how you guys host holidays? For example my SIL has 9 children does it mean we should charge her for attending holidays in our house?

Of course not but somebody should have given her information about birth control or, better still, on her husband having a vasectomy!

To be serious, holiday meals are different from a beach vacation. If you are spending a week at the beach and there are 11 in her family and four in yours, then, obviously, you do not split food bill.