Another question about splitting bills during family vacation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Add a case of diapers and one of wipes while you're at Costcto ("for the beach"), and that will pretty much even things out.

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is just too nitpicky. How much of a difference do you think it will make, really? If it's a huge difference, maybe bring it up, but if not, really, let it go.

+1 All these posts nickel- and diming- family members are weird. If it is a true financial burden then, yes, speak up. Otherwise, let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for all the insight!! One PP did mention that we aren't splitting hairs over the house - it has 5 bedrooms, 1 of which will be taken up by our small family and the other 4 go to hers.

We don't have a large income, we currently live in a one bedroom apt, so $200 extra for a week of food we aren't going to eat is not something we would normally budget for, but family is family and we all get along so it is what it is. The gist I'm getting is that splitting the food 50/50 is unfair, but I'm also taking the advice of most of you that I'm not going to sweat it.

Thanks for your honest responses.

This would bug me.

I think since they’re using most of the bedrooms - 4 out 5!!!! - it would be nice if they offered to cover the food as gesture of goodwill. Reciprocity and not sweating the small stuff only works when EVERYONE does it. Otherwise you’re just paying fir half of her vacation and you don’t even get a “thank you.”

[Anonymous]

Maybe OP drinks expensive wine or coffee? Maybe they eat fancy cheese or insist on organic everything. This is why it doesn’t work to try to assign a value who eats what. If you are very uptight, group travel isn’t for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we vacation with my family, each family unit contributes 100.00 per family member. I have 5 in my family - 2 adults and 1 kid, so I put in 500.00. my brother and his wife put in 200.00. We pay for groceries out of that money, and it feels fair. I would be super annoyed if I was in a family of 2 + infant and had to split groceries evenly with a family of 5. I have 3 kids and know how much they can eat!!!

$500??? For a week? I spend $150/week max. Why so high??

You spend $150 for a family of 5, for a week? On vacation?

So, assuming 6 vacation days, you're spending $25 to feed 5 people three meals per day?

Either you're not telling the truth, or you go on the worst vacations ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we vacation with my family, each family unit contributes 100.00 per family member. I have 5 in my family - 2 adults and 1 kid, so I put in 500.00. my brother and his wife put in 200.00. We pay for groceries out of that money, and it feels fair. I would be super annoyed if I was in a family of 2 + infant and had to split groceries evenly with a family of 5. I have 3 kids and know how much they can eat!!!

$500??? For a week? I spend $150/week max. Why so high??

You spend $150 for a family of 5, for a week? On vacation?

So, assuming 6 vacation days, you're spending $25 to feed 5 people three meals per day?

Either you're not telling the truth, or you go on the worst vacations ever.

On the GROCERY part? Yes. We eat dinners out. WTH are you buying??

[Anonymous]

Just remember that when on vacation, for kids, eating food is like a snow day, they eat insanely large amounts all day long. Why, I don't know. They just do. They just have to eat ALL THE FOOD, right now.

and be prepared for the other kids to fall in love with and want to eat immediately anything special you picked out for you and DH. Not trying to be a sour lemon, but if you prepare yourself for that possibility you won't be disappointed or get upset. BTDT a million times with my nieces and nephews, and as long as you have a good sense of humor about it and roll with it, everything should be ok.

[Anonymous]

Going to Costco seems stupid for a weeklong beach trip. Are you going to buy a case of paper towels or peanut butter? I think the bill will be insane and she’ll take a lot home afterward. Maybe suggesting a regular grocery store and you split dinner responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

When vacationing with kids and also driving to a destination, I usually pre-purchased the non perishables so I didn't have to bother at the higher price beach town grocery stores. Maybe I am the only one tho...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When vacationing with kids and also driving to a destination, I usually pre-purchased the non perishables so I didn't have to bother at the higher price beach town grocery stores. Maybe I am the only one tho...

I do a little. Paper goods, detergents, wine, bottled water, cereals, preferred snack bars, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Add a case of diapers and one of wipes while you're at Costcto ("for the beach"), and that will pretty much even things out.

This!

I would do this. I bet your sister wouldn't even bat an eye if she's a "let's split a big Costco trip" kind of person. She sounds low maintenance. Done and done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Add a case of diapers and one of wipes while you're at Costcto ("for the beach"), and that will pretty much even things out.

This!

I would do this. I bet your sister wouldn't even bat an eye if she's a "let's split a big Costco trip" kind of person. She sounds low maintenance. Done and done.

OP: this thread entertained me and I do love this solution. I also think you and hubby should get a "date night" even if it's just 2 hours long...or 1 or maybe a few walks around the block. The 4 rooms v/s 1 bothers me for some reason but I am...frugal.

[Anonymous]

We split per room or by person for house rental costs. Groceries we tried to share things but our allergies and eating habits are wildly dofferent and opposite so it never worked out-DH’s brother took advantage.

We eventually just all got seperate groceries (his mom not charged anything because she treats outings) and if we decided wine, cheese, and crackers then we’d split 50/50 for two couples or alternate by whoever got it last time.

The 4 of 5 rooms would bother me, too.

[Anonymous]

"Sorry Bev, that won't work for us. DH and I will be doing our usual trip to Whole Foods. Thanks for asking!" Then repeat as needed, simple.

[Anonymous]

If I was close with my sister, I would say something like:

“You guys are getting 4 out 5 bedrooms and we’re paying half for the house rental. I think it would be a nice gesture if you guys bought the Costco groceries since you have more people.”

I have a feeling this Costco trip is going to make you feel taken advantage of. You’re already getting a crap deal on the house and your sister is going to buy so much crap for the kids to eat, you’re going to be shocked at the price. I have 2 kids and I never get out of Costco without spending a few hundred. Really, speak up. It’s okay to say something.