Interesting/Creative ways an affair has come to light

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I found underwear in between the couch cushions that was not mine. I remember being so dumbstruck and thinking, "this is like something you'd see on TV so it can't even be real."

I agree! How do you not realize you've forgotten to put your underwear back on?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This probably isn't creative, but years ago one of my husband's bosses was having an affair with a secretary. I couldn't stand her or him. His poor wife was still in another state trying to finish packing up the home, Kids etc.

I kept thinking how horrible it would be to move to another state without a support system. Only to find out you pos husband is cheating.

I found her phone number and called her!

You're actually just as bad as the people having the affair. Nothing about any of that was ANY of your concern in any way--you just butted in because you didn't like him. You weren't trying to help anyone out. You have a terrible character, which is obvious in the way you tell it. This was done just to satisfy you and give you a sick thrill. Disgusting.

As someone who was cheated on before and during marriage, I would have loved for someone to have had the balls to pick up the phone and tell me. I think that shows a lot more character than just smiling to my face and acting like nothing is wrong.

+1 I don't know how many folks knew my husband was a serial cheater, but the number wasn't zero. It definitely included his/her coworkers, some mutual friends, etc.

I wish someone had told me before I wasted so much time thinking I was just not a very trusting person.

I absolutely agree with the above. I would have been grateful if anyone had clued me in. Infidelity is abusive and a huge betrayal of trust which is made even worse when friends, coworkers and family knew and didn't tell you. How would you feel if your boss sexually assaulted you and later you found out that everyone in the office knew about the assault but no one said anything about it or helped you in any way? Very similar.

In addition to losing my marriage, my sexual self, my confidence and the family I thought I had, I also lost professional relationships (because we were in the same industry) and friend relationships. Thankfully, no one in my bio family knew and they were all terrific about it when I told them. I can't imagine losing trust in my family as well if any of them had known and left me in the dark. After the betrayal by a spouse, you really need friends and family for emotional support and you need to continue to have strong career prospects.

Those of you who shame the messenger for not keeping the perpetrators secret, you are actually supporting abuse by siding with the perpetrator and using a culture of social silencing to prevent women from learning or speaking out about abuse. Just like a whisper network has grown in the professions about which men are abusive, so too should there be a whisper network about men who are abusive in relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This probably isn't creative, but years ago one of my husband's bosses was having an affair with a secretary. I couldn't stand her or him. His poor wife was still in another state trying to finish packing up the home, Kids etc.

I kept thinking how horrible it would be to move to another state without a support system. Only to find out you pos husband is cheating.

I found her phone number and called her!

You're actually just as bad as the people having the affair. Nothing about any of that was ANY of your concern in any way--you just butted in because you didn't like him. You weren't trying to help anyone out. You have a terrible character, which is obvious in the way you tell it. This was done just to satisfy you and give you a sick thrill. Disgusting.

As someone who was cheated on before and during marriage, I would have loved for someone to have had the balls to pick up the phone and tell me. I think that shows a lot more character than just smiling to my face and acting like nothing is wrong.

Thank you, that sums me up. I was cheated on which wasted too much time in my life. I wish someone would have had the morals to let me know.

Like a car accident some will keep driving by without calling 911, others know what they should do.

I'm very happy I saved her years in a fake marriage. I feel very good about it, and won't ever cover up for a cheater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This probably isn't creative, but years ago one of my husband's bosses was having an affair with a secretary. I couldn't stand her or him. His poor wife was still in another state trying to finish packing up the home, Kids etc.

I kept thinking how horrible it would be to move to another state without a support system. Only to find out you pos husband is cheating.

I found her phone number and called her!

You're actually just as bad as the people having the affair. Nothing about any of that was ANY of your concern in any way--you just butted in because you didn't like him. You weren't trying to help anyone out. You have a terrible character, which is obvious in the way you tell it. This was done just to satisfy you and give you a sick thrill. Disgusting.

As someone who was cheated on before and during marriage, I would have loved for someone to have had the balls to pick up the phone and tell me. I think that shows a lot more character than just smiling to my face and acting like nothing is wrong.

+1 I don't know how many folks knew my husband was a serial cheater, but the number wasn't zero. It definitely included his/her coworkers, some mutual friends, etc.

I wish someone had told me before I wasted so much time thinking I was just not a very trusting person.

I absolutely agree with the above. I would have been grateful if anyone had clued me in. Infidelity is abusive and a huge betrayal of trust which is made even worse when friends, coworkers and family knew and didn't tell you. How would you feel if your boss sexually assaulted you and later you found out that everyone in the office knew about the assault but no one said anything about it or helped you in any way? Very similar.

In addition to losing my marriage, my sexual self, my confidence and the family I thought I had, I also lost professional relationships (because we were in the same industry) and friend relationships. Thankfully, no one in my bio family knew and they were all terrific about it when I told them. I can't imagine losing trust in my family as well if any of them had known and left me in the dark. After the betrayal by a spouse, you really need friends and family for emotional support and you need to continue to have strong career prospects.

Those of you who shame the messenger for not keeping the perpetrators secret, you are actually supporting abuse by siding with the perpetrator and using a culture of social silencing to prevent women from learning or speaking out about abuse. Just like a whisper network has grown in the professions about which men are abusive, so too should there be a whisper network about men who are abusive in relationships.

+1

Even if you do it anonymously it's the right thing to do. The health risks alone is a big reason.

I won't tolerate it no matter who they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found underwear in between the couch cushions that was not mine. I remember being so dumbstruck and thinking, "this is like something you'd see on TV so it can't even be real."

I agree! How do you not realize you've forgotten to put your underwear back on?!

Who wears underwear to a date with their FB?

[Anonymous]

Im still waiting to catch DW

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My favorite was a woman who just knew her DH was cheating with his secretary, but he kept denying it. Then he went on a business trip to a resort that had a live web stream of their oceanfront beach. She saw him, in a bathing suit she had purchased, with his secretary, and they were holding hands. She phoned his cell, and she watched him pick up the phone. He claimed he was working in his room, that of course his secretary wasn’t there, and that she was crazy. She told him that she could see him, she described what they both were wearing, and told him that she was also using her video to capture the whole thing.

She said she was so ecstatic that she finally had proof that she ran into their bedroom and jumped up and down on the bed.

I hear that. Being gaslit is absolutely MADDENING.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found underwear in between the couch cushions that was not mine. I remember being so dumbstruck and thinking, "this is like something you'd see on TV so it can't even be real."

I agree! How do you not realize you've forgotten to put your underwear back on?!

Who wears underwear to a date with their FB?

Everyone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found underwear in between the couch cushions that was not mine. I remember being so dumbstruck and thinking, "this is like something you'd see on TV so it can't even be real."

I agree! How do you not realize you've forgotten to put your underwear back on?!

I sometimes wonder if she did it on purpose so that I would find out, but who know? It was just so insane to me at the time, it was almost funny. Almost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband’s AP told me at a playground our kids are siblings.

What???!!!

True story. Good for a vaudeville.

I actually remember this poster... she posted several years ago about this situation when she was still with the husband.

I have to find that thread. Oh man.

Will someone post the link

I looked for it yesterday but couldn't find it - if anyone finds it, please post!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found underwear in between the couch cushions that was not mine. I remember being so dumbstruck and thinking, "this is like something you'd see on TV so it can't even be real."

I agree! How do you not realize you've forgotten to put your underwear back on?!

Who wears underwear to a date with their FB?

Everyone?

The better question is, who goes home from the date wearing underwear?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My favorite was a woman who just knew her DH was cheating with his secretary, but he kept denying it. Then he went on a business trip to a resort that had a live web stream of their oceanfront beach. She saw him, in a bathing suit she had purchased, with his secretary, and they were holding hands. She phoned his cell, and she watched him pick up the phone. He claimed he was working in his room, that of course his secretary wasn’t there, and that she was crazy. She told him that she could see him, she described what they both were wearing, and told him that she was also using her video to capture the whole thing.

She said she was so ecstatic that she finally had proof that she ran into their bedroom and jumped up and down on the bed.

What on earth did he say???? This is amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found underwear in between the couch cushions that was not mine. I remember being so dumbstruck and thinking, "this is like something you'd see on TV so it can't even be real."

I agree! How do you not realize you've forgotten to put your underwear back on?!

You don't forget. This was done deliberately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found underwear in between the couch cushions that was not mine. I remember being so dumbstruck and thinking, "this is like something you'd see on TV so it can't even be real."

I agree! How do you not realize you've forgotten to put your underwear back on?!

Who wears underwear to a date with their FB?

Everyone?

The better question is, who goes home from the date wearing underwear?

Um everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found underwear in between the couch cushions that was not mine. I remember being so dumbstruck and thinking, "this is like something you'd see on TV so it can't even be real."

I agree! How do you not realize you've forgotten to put your underwear back on?!

Who wears underwear to a date with their FB?

Everyone?

The better question is, who goes home from the date wearing underwear?

Um everyone.

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