That 90 minutes of work time while your kids are home is what's killing you. Instead, put your kids in 90 minutes of aftercare, get your work done, and pick them up while fully engaged.
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NP here, but I have a very similar situation to the OP, except that I work until 5pm each day before rushing to get a child from daycare. This idea of asking spouse to prep meals, etc is all well and good, but it doesn't remove the mental energy that is put (usually on the mother, but not always, I know!) to figure out "What to make". Just figuring out meals for me is one of my hated tasks each week - I feel like it's always hanging over my head. So, tasking out jobs to a spouse feels like it's not even worth it - it does take away the time spent on that task, but it doesn't remove the mental weight. |
First off - wildly impressed you work out every day!
Advice: Prep lunches with the kids on the weekends. If possible everything should be ready so packing lunches means grabbing several premade containers and putting them in the lunch box. They can do that in the mornings. Make a list of super easy dinners at least a few that freeze well. Make a bunch of those. Maybe there’s a way you can figure out how to cook one night for two nights of dinners with only a small change or two to make it different. I’m sure other people here could make suggestions. SudShare is amazing if the laundry is piling up. Increase the house cleaners. Like another poster said, your husband might be against outsourcing but what he is doing is outsourcing the work to you |
Would you consider getting an au pair? That way pick up, homework supervision, light cleaning and some very light meal prep would be covered by the time you walk in the door. Of course you might not have room in your house or you may not want an au pair for various other reasons but it might be worth considering. |
I get the sesne managing a household employee would just add to OP's stress and I don't think this would fly with the DH. I think aftercare would be a better solution. |
I’m lazy for working 40 hrs/week? I specifically got my 40-hr/week job to be able to afford to outsource and not have to do the frantic juggling OP does. Not my dream job, but I can’t complain about 145k, great benefits including generous retirement match. |
Op I am bored to death as a stay-at-home so there's that. Don't quit your job! |
+1 Or go into work earlier if you can, and swap your gym time in favor of active time with your kids. They're old enough to run/bike etc. |
I don't think OP can go into work earlier--she's a doctor, so she's kind of tied into the office's hours for patient care, is my guess, and things like calling insurers can only happen 9 to 5. |
You’re not paying for before or aftercare. That’s 1000 per month for two kids. I have kids the exact same ages. Use that money for another housecleaning visit. |
Have you considered hiring a personal chef? It would solve the question of dinner 3-4 nights a week, and they could tailor specifically to your diet and tastes. I've heard Enjoy Culinary Co. is amazing. |
Fair point! For some people it's a stress reliever to have in-house childcare and for others it's another thing to keep on top of. It definitely doesn't work for all families and personalities. |
Why aren't your kids making their lunches for the next day and helping with dinner and cleaning up the house?
Since my daughter was 3 she's been throwing out the garbage, folding pants, socks, pillowcases and small towels that come out of the dyer. Since she was 4 she's been setting the table (I used to take the plates out for her). Since she was 3 she's been helping with dinner. |
Oh yey, the perfect parent again! She also loaded the dishwasher at 2, correct? You sound so insufferable and crazy that I hope no one here is taking your post as serious. Is your halo clouding your eye sight too??? |
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