Men : do you care about a woman’s job/career?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never cared about a womans job, unless it was something interesting. I make decent enough money that I never expected a woman or anyone else to help supplement my lifestyle.

What if she had a high paying intense job and expected you to follow her when she relocated and take a back seat at your job so that you could be available when she was available, and do the work of running the house and raising children?

My experience is that men say that they don’t care what you do for a living AS LONG as it doesn’t get in the way of anything they want to do.

I sadly kind agree with this -- if a woman has an amazing/cool/high powered/high earning career, the average man will be impressed by it and brag about it right up until the point where he's expected to put himself second or pull more weight in the partnership. Then it's whining and posting on DCUM about how all that matters is she stays thin and keeps the blowjobs coming.

Men keep posting on here every time the topic comes up: relationship stuff (including bjs) matters, resume stuff matters little. We keep telling that to anyone who asks, yet you claim to be surprised?

And I am telling you that it seems to matter a lot. Very few men are willing to take a back seat to their wives careers no matter how good or frequent the blowjobs are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why inquiring “What do you bring to the table” is so bad? Isn’t that how we size up a partner? Looks, personality, etc

According to my dad men who ask this are poor or poverty minded, and are not secure in their ability to progress in and maintain a career. My sisters and I have all married well.

Nope. A man who asks “What do you bring to the table” is making an intelligent decision about his life partner. Men are not required to accept a woman "no matter what" and it is stupid to try and shame them with this "you must be insecure" nonsense.

Would you seriously want your son to marry a girl who brought nothing to the table - no education, minimum wage job, fat and unattractive?

NP - you're moving the goal posts here. The OP asked about job/career. You're adding fat, unattractive and uneducated. Any of these three things are deal breakers, yes.

We don't care about you job/career.

No, it is relevant to the question of what she brings to the table. If she doesn't have a career but is hot, then she brings something to the table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never cared about a womans job, unless it was something interesting. I make decent enough money that I never expected a woman or anyone else to help supplement my lifestyle.

What if she had a high paying intense job and expected you to follow her when she relocated and take a back seat at your job so that you could be available when she was available, and do the work of running the house and raising children?

My experience is that men say that they don’t care what you do for a living AS LONG as it doesn’t get in the way of anything they want to do.

You'd have to be stupid to marry a woman like that, because she won't respect you and will eventually dump you for some high-earner, high-status guy she meets at work.

"I don't care what you do so long as it doesn't affect me negatively" is a real no-duh conclusion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never cared about a womans job, unless it was something interesting. I make decent enough money that I never expected a woman or anyone else to help supplement my lifestyle.

What if she had a high paying intense job and expected you to follow her when she relocated and take a back seat at your job so that you could be available when she was available, and do the work of running the house and raising children?

My experience is that men say that they don’t care what you do for a living AS LONG as it doesn’t get in the way of anything they want to do.

Good point. Honest answer I wouldn't marry her. I own my own company, so my job requires me to be available at my location. It's a very unique field that wouldn't be as successful in another location. Plus I don't think my employees would be interested in relocating. I would guess that she would understand this and not be interest in any long term relationship with me because of this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, not if you read what's actually being said. You say that's what men post but what they actually post is either that, or "why can't we demand she make 100k and not ever SAH and follow me for my career and put it first, women are gold diggers! This is what equality looks like!!!"

Men try to have it both ways in this discussion, every time. And in relationships they want to have it both ways too -- benefit from her income but demand she pull all the weight in the relationship.

Which is of course totally different from women who expect their man to make lots of money AND do all the crazy bullshit she invents for him to do at home.

[Anonymous]

When dating? No. When moving to the next level of dating? It's a factor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
And I am telling you that it seems to matter a lot. Very few men are willing to take a back seat to their wives careers no matter how good or frequent the blowjobs are.

Considering that women can and do divorce you at the drop of a hat, you'd have to be stupid to take a back seat to her career. She'll dump you, take the kids, and leave you high and dry. Even worse, taking a back seat to her career increases the chances she will dump you. Women want a man who makes more than them and has higher status than them. That's just a fact, and men would be stupid not to take that into account.

[Anonymous]

Well from my experience most men do care.

Maybe it was the men I dated but they indeed cared,
So more than others but yes they cared

My hubby is successful and wanted to make sure I had my
Own ambitions and he’s seen that I do. This doesn’t mean I can’t stay at home. I’m actually staying at home (expecting our first). He just wanted someone who have drive -it wasnt about a career as much as I wasn’t going to hang on to his success to make me feel better and I wouldn’t want to.

[Anonymous]

One of our friends who is a successful Harvard lawyer...specifically wanted a "SAH" type so he dropped his law school GF for a nursery school teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of our friends who is a successful Harvard lawyer...specifically wanted a "SAH" type so he dropped his law school GF for a nursery school teacher.

Yep, it's about control too. He can do whatever he wants to, including cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of our friends who is a successful Harvard lawyer...specifically wanted a "SAH" type so he dropped his law school GF for a nursery school teacher.

Yep, it's about control too. He can do whatever he wants to, including cheating.

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Based on the number of men who bought us drinks and then walked away before they arrived, yes. Some men do not want to date female lawyers.

Or doctors. Back in my dating days, I had men leave mid-sentence after I told them I was in medical school.
Ended up marrying another medical student.

How old are you guys?

Please tell me there are great-Grandmas on this board otherwise that’s seriously depressing.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely! Smart women with ambition (and looks) are a turn on. My DW is off the charts smart with an Ivy MBA who had a very successful but eclectic career combined with motherhood. Before her I had dated a number of very attractive women but none were overly career oriented or very ambitious. They were very nice but it was the smart ones who always got my attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Based on the number of men who bought us drinks and then walked away before they arrived, yes. Some men do not want to date female lawyers.

Or doctors. Back in my dating days, I had men leave mid-sentence after I told them I was in medical school.
Ended up marrying another medical student.

How old are you guys?

Please tell me there are great-Grandmas on this board otherwise that’s seriously depressing.

35.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Based on the number of men who bought us drinks and then walked away before they arrived, yes. Some men do not want to date female lawyers.

Or doctors. Back in my dating days, I had men leave mid-sentence after I told them I was in medical school.
Ended up marrying another medical student.

How old are you guys?

Please tell me there are great-Grandmas on this board otherwise that’s seriously depressing.

I'm in my fifties and I remember a roommate in college in the 1980's telling me how her mom told her not to get a Master's degree because then guys who only had BA's would be too intimidated to go out with her.
I make enough money in my career that I paid college tuition for two of our kids out of my salary but my husband still gets mad if I don't make dinner every night. A lot of my girlfriends joke about how we're "allowed"
to have "stealth careers". Basically, you can work your ass off as long as it doesn't ever interfere with hubby's hunting, fishing, golf plans, etc. It should be as if he doesn't even know you work. My military husband recently switched to some
kind of flextime where he works from 7-3. He gets home at like 3:45 and he's all like "where's my dinner? Time for you to knock off work for the day now that I'm home" and I"m like "Please. I have about four more hours worth of work to do here."