Hosting step-grandson for two weeks- how to deal with food fussiness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to be the dissenting voice. The kid's 12. He's old enough to understand that it's unreasonable to expect other people to cater to his extreme pickiness. It's normal to have likes and dislikes.- to like some vegetables but not other vegetables. It's not normal to write off entire food groups and only eat frozen pizza for dinner. The only reason that he's become this bad is because his parents have constantly indulged him.

Don't force him to eat anything but don't cater to his pickiness. Make whatever you normally make. Once or twice a week, make one of his favorites. (This is normal amount of catering to a guest, not changing your entire diet for 2 weeks.) If he doesn't want to eat whatever you make, then he make a sandwich or heat up a frozen pizza himself.

Really..if a guest said I am avoiding carbs/dairy/glutton I would make sure there were acceptable meals every day. I want my guests to be comfortable and happy. My M-in-law would make two different boxes of pasta if each kid wanted a different shape. She was happy to make them happy.

[Anonymous]

You guys are all crazy! OP never said she was going to starve the kid! She was going to prepare food but she doesn't want to deal with him refusing food that she's taken the trouble to serve. Does that make her a bad person? The kid does sound high-maintenance so I sympathize with OP. I think her husband needs to handle the cooking. People mentioned heating up pizzas but c'mon, the kid can't just eat unhealthy American food for two weeks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He will never ever want to stay at grandma's ever again. Mark my words. Pick your battles grandma.

Please.

Read the OP.

STEPgrandma. The kid is not a grandchild. He is simply a "Step"

I think your first sentence is the end goal here.

The argument still holds. Pick your battles carefully before making your home inhospitable to your spouse's grandkid.

For what its worth, my step mom doesn't differentiate among the grandkids - hers or my dads.

[Anonymous]

OP, let me tell you a little story.

My super picky 11 year old DS recently visited my SO’s parents in the Netherlands, along with me and my SO. My son had met them once before in the US over the holidays. While in the Netherlands, they went out of their way to make sure he had food that he would normally eat in the US, including bread that was very similar in appearance and taste to what he would eat here. In fact, they called us the week before we were to travel to ask what he eats, and made sure they had all those available. They of course offered him whatever the rest of us were eating, but always had an acceptable alternative. The one food they did introduce him to and that he absolutely loved was Dutch pancakes. FWIW, my son and I are Indian American, and my son only eats what a typical American kid his age would eat.

My son loves his Opa and Oma much more than he loves his biological grandparents. They reciprocate that love - and not once have they referred to him as their ‘step’ grandchild. So my advice would be to let this go if you want to have any sort of a positive relationship with the child.

[Anonymous]

OP, this isn't your battle, and you are not going to turn a picky kid into a vegetable loving kid in 2 weeks. I would just cook your normal meals, let him eat the meat/potatoes/rice and leave the veggies. I would buy taquitos, pizza pockets, nuggets and things like that to keep in the freezer. The first day he doesn't eat his food and complain about been hungry show him what you have and tell him he is more than welcome to heat some of those snacks in the toaster oven. I would try though to do a few meals a week that he is likely to eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, let me tell you a little story.

My super picky 11 year old DS recently visited my SO’s parents in the Netherlands, along with me and my SO. My son had met them once before in the US over the holidays. While in the Netherlands, they went out of their way to make sure he had food that he would normally eat in the US, including bread that was very similar in appearance and taste to what he would eat here. In fact, they called us the week before we were to travel to ask what he eats, and made sure they had all those available. They of course offered him whatever the rest of us were eating, but always had an acceptable alternative. The one food they did introduce him to and that he absolutely loved was Dutch pancakes. FWIW, my son and I are Indian American, and my son only eats what a typical American kid his age would eat.

My son loves his Opa and Oma much more than he loves his biological grandparents. They reciprocate that love - and not once have they referred to him as their ‘step’ grandchild. So my advice would be to let this go if you want to have any sort of a positive relationship with the child.

Can someone explain why it's wrong for OP to mention that this child is a stepGS??? It's not wrong for stepparents to use step-son or step-daughter..so why slam the OP for mentioning this? If anything, because she's not related to the kid by blood, then her actions may be judged in a worse light.

[Anonymous]

^^ because among our many various divorced family combinations, there are step siblings and step parents, but grandparents are grandparents - no “step”.

I assume OP never had children. You can do what you like, but a hungry kid is less likely to behave/interact well with others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to be the dissenting voice. The kid's 12. He's old enough to understand that it's unreasonable to expect other people to cater to his extreme pickiness. It's normal to have likes and dislikes.- to like some vegetables but not other vegetables. It's not normal to write off entire food groups and only eat frozen pizza for dinner. The only reason that he's become this bad is because his parents have constantly indulged him.

Don't force him to eat anything but don't cater to his pickiness. Make whatever you normally make. Once or twice a week, make one of his favorites. (This is normal amount of catering to a guest, not changing your entire diet for 2 weeks.) If he doesn't want to eat whatever you make, then he make a sandwich or heat up a frozen pizza himself.

Aw, cute.

Your 2 year old will have opinions about food soon enough.

PP here. My kids are in middle school. They have always eaten what the adults eat. No kids meals. The same way that dh and I were raised.

[Anonymous]

My dad is the biggest health food fanatic I’ve ever met. So imagine my shock when we went to visit with DS for a weekend and he had stocked his pantry with Mac and cheese, Doritos, juice, etc. It was actually kind of touching, even though, truth be told we don’t really feed our child stuff like that normally lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to be the dissenting voice. The kid's 12. He's old enough to understand that it's unreasonable to expect other people to cater to his extreme pickiness. It's normal to have likes and dislikes.- to like some vegetables but not other vegetables. It's not normal to write off entire food groups and only eat frozen pizza for dinner. The only reason that he's become this bad is because his parents have constantly indulged him.

Don't force him to eat anything but don't cater to his pickiness. Make whatever you normally make. Once or twice a week, make one of his favorites. (This is normal amount of catering to a guest, not changing your entire diet for 2 weeks.) If he doesn't want to eat whatever you make, then he make a sandwich or heat up a frozen pizza himself.

Really..if a guest said I am avoiding carbs/dairy/glutton I would make sure there were acceptable meals every day. I want my guests to be comfortable and happy. My M-in-law would make two different boxes of pasta if each kid wanted a different shape. She was happy to make them happy.

I didn't see this before. Dietary restrictions to medical issues (including allergies, sensory) or religion/ethics is not the same as picky eating. That's ridiculous. If a picky eater is only willing to eat 5 food items their entire lives, that's fine. But they shouldn't expect other people to go out of their way to cater to their issues.

[Anonymous]

I like how op posts this a single an American thing that we cater to our kids. Nope not all of us. Plenty of people cook healthy meals and that's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like how op posts this a single an American thing that we cater to our kids. Nope not all of us. Plenty of people cook healthy meals and that's it.

Haven't you read the posts on this threads? So many people advocating for frozen foods and pizza for the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to be the dissenting voice. The kid's 12. He's old enough to understand that it's unreasonable to expect other people to cater to his extreme pickiness. It's normal to have likes and dislikes.- to like some vegetables but not other vegetables. It's not normal to write off entire food groups and only eat frozen pizza for dinner. The only reason that he's become this bad is because his parents have constantly indulged him.

Don't force him to eat anything but don't cater to his pickiness. Make whatever you normally make. Once or twice a week, make one of his favorites. (This is normal amount of catering to a guest, not changing your entire diet for 2 weeks.) If he doesn't want to eat whatever you make, then he make a sandwich or heat up a frozen pipzza himself.

Really..if a guest said I am avoiding carbs/dairy/glutton I would make sure there were acceptable meals every day. I want my guests to be comfortable and happy. My M-in-law would make two different boxes of pasta if each kid wanted a different shape. She was happy to make them happy.

I didn't see this before. Dietary restrictions to medical issues (including allergies, sensory) or religion/ethics is not the same as picky eating. That's ridiculous. If a picky eater is only willing to eat 5 food items their entire lives, that's fine. But they shouldn't expect other people to go out of their way to cater to their issues.

I was not referring to medical issues..trying to lose 5pounds..no carbs..no dairy no glouton..is that so difference than a kid having preferences? I consider my vegetarian neice the same as my daughter who has lots of food preferences. I accommodate as well as I can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to be the dissenting voice. The kid's 12. He's old enough to understand that it's unreasonable to expect other people to cater to his extreme pickiness. It's normal to have likes and dislikes.- to like some vegetables but not other vegetables. It's not normal to write off entire food groups and only eat frozen pizza for dinner. The only reason that he's become this bad is because his parents have constantly indulged him.

Don't force him to eat anything but don't cater to his pickiness. Make whatever you normally make. Once or twice a week, make one of his favorites. (This is normal amount of catering to a guest, not changing your entire diet for 2 weeks.) If he doesn't want to eat whatever you make, then he make a sandwich or heat up a frozen pizza himself.

Really..if a guest said I am avoiding carbs/dairy/glutton I would make sure there were acceptable meals every day. I want my guests to be comfortable and happy. My M-in-law would make two different boxes of pasta if each kid wanted a different shape. She was happy to make them happy.

I didn't see this before. Dietary restrictions to medical issues (including allergies, sensory) or religion/ethics is not the same as picky eating. That's ridiculous. If a picky eater is only willing to eat 5 food items their entire lives, that's fine. But they shouldn't expect other people to go out of their way to cater to their issues.

I'm also surprised by the responses on this thread to go along with the child's wants. This is definitely generational. I'm in my 60s and would have never dreamed of complaining about how gross vegetables are or anything like that.

[Anonymous]

If you said this to me, I wouldn’t send my kids to your house. Nobody wants to spend that long getting judged and eating food they hate.