Haven't had sex in 3.5 months

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another single mom who would prefer to have sex in a LTR. Threads such as morning sex one are depressing

I agree. I wanted to reply to that how jealous I was. OMG, I would have morning sex every day. And sex every night.

Is that how you became a single mom?

Do you really believe that sex cures all? As long as there is sex in the relationship, there can be no other issues? If only she had sex morning and night, she wouldn’t be a single mom?

No but it is a defining factor in practically every marriage that’s ever existed. It is the most effective bonding and communication method.

You can try to frame your argument anyway you want, but that’s the truth and you know it. Look at this forum and yourself: when you decided by fiat that sex was no longer a part of your marriage, how much longer did it last and you were divorced? If I asked your XDH, what would he say about you turning it off?

She stated she’d have sex any time of day, you’re a bit of a dim bulb. Perhaps that is why you’re dating your hand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another single mom who would prefer to have sex in a LTR. Threads such as morning sex one are depressing

I agree. I wanted to reply to that how jealous I was. OMG, I would have morning sex every day. And sex every night.

Is that how you became a single mom?

Do you really believe that sex cures all? As long as there is sex in the relationship, there can be no other issues? If only she had sex morning and night, she wouldn’t be a single mom?

No but it is a defining factor in practically every marriage that’s ever existed. It is the most effective bonding and communication method.

You can try to frame your argument anyway you want, but that’s the truth and you know it. Look at this forum and yourself: when you decided by fiat that sex was no longer a part of your marriage, how much longer did it last and you were divorced? If I asked your XDH, what would he say about you turning it off?

She stated she’d have sex any time of day, you’re a bit of a dim bulb. Perhaps that is why you’re dating your hand?

Her statement is a theoretical projection of what she thinks she’d do with her fictitious Prince Charming. In reality though, her previous relationships have become sexless within year 2. Believe her actions and her track record, not her words on an anonymous forum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote: I don’t understand married couples can agree on no sex for long periods of time. I’ve been married for 17 years and we’ve never gone for more than two weeks. And that’s unusual. Well if you don’t count the six week post partum breaks My husband would be so frustrated. We would be divorced

They don't "agree" it is one spouse (usually the wife) who decides she does not want sex. You are correct this rapidly leads to divorce. If not divorced, it means they are in a de-facto open marriage: the other spouse is most certainly continuing to have sex.

It is not always the wife (maybe not even "usually") and it does not always "rapidly leads to divorce".

As some others have said, sometimes when there is no sex an adult makes the hard decision to tough it out in the relationship so as not to implode the life of a child, to put their own sexual desires on a long-term back burner until the child is grown and then prioritize your own needs. Many will say that if the parents aren't happy the kids aren't happy so you might as well split up, but as in my case the marriage was fine otherwise, the partner was a good parent and mostly a good spouse, so if it's just a sex thing, kid's needs come first.

Right, I covered that, it’s the de-facto open marriage.

I understand that you believe that. However, in my opinion sex is not like breathing, you actually can live without it. I respected my husband and the marriage and did not defacto open it for my own pleasure. I went years without sex and then when my kids were grown I left him and in subsequent relationships had some great sex. I did not want to set an example of cheating for my children to possibly find out about.

I am sorry for your painful situation. You had every right to open your marriage. Very few men could (or would) do as you have gone “years” without sex. It’s just not a real option, physically.

And while it’s not true in your case, then stats do clearly show that in most sexless marriages the wife is the refuser.

Of course it is. You may not like it, but it is an option. Lack of sex will not cause you to die. It's not the same need as food, water, and shelter. You may be frustrated, unhappy, disappointed, but no one will be putting you in the ground for a lack of sex.

Thank you, sweetheart, and sorry to be snide with my question. Sincerely, your story interests me. Did you know that you were marrying a man with low libido? Do you also have low sexual desire? If not, how do you cope with frustration and stress?
Sex isn't everything, but I think it has a way of softening the edges in a relationship. Affection and touch have that impact, too.
I know couples in which one has told the other that she no longer desires sex with her mate, and they are still together. At least in their relationship there's been some communication about what one wants and doesn't want, and that's a start.
An end to intimacy without any explanation is terribly sad to me.

BTW - whoever responded "none of your business" on behalf of a stranger's post: Try counting to three before acting on your impulses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you, sweetheart, and sorry to be snide with my question. Sincerely, your story interests me. Did you know that you were marrying a man with low libido? Do you also have low sexual desire? If not, how do you cope with frustration and stress?
Sex isn't everything, but I think it has a way of softening the edges in a relationship. Affection and touch have that impact, too.
I know couples in which one has told the other that she no longer desires sex with her mate, and they are still together. At least in their relationship there's been some communication about what one wants and doesn't want, and that's a start.
An end to intimacy without any explanation is terribly sad to me.

BTW - whoever responded "none of your business" on behalf of a stranger's post: Try counting to three before acting on your impulses.

An "end to intimacy" .... what does that even mean? Are you talking about a paraplegic or do normal functioning married people also "end intimacy" by simply "explaining" this decision to spouse?

Is that like me deciding I no longer want to "listen about her day" and from now on I only want to talk about mundane logistics. Can I just "explain" this decision and expect she will be cool with that? Should I expect she will still care about all of my important needs (like sex) while I just stop doing hers? Should I expect that, since I don't want to do it any longer, she too will stop wanting to "talk about stuff" with another human being? Should I be surprised when she seeks out another person (like an attractive male "friend") to talk about her day with?

[Anonymous]

My DH and I have been married longer than some of you have likely lived but we still have sex at least weekly. But what really works for me and helps keep my desire up is that even after all of these years he's always sweet, considerate and affectionate though he is not a hand holder-type. So its almost like there's a pilot light always on that keeps the water warm and then weekly gets turned to high. Over the years our marriage has faced the normal challenges all marriages face but some how the pilot light has never gone out. It does take two to keep the pilot light lit.

[Anonymous]

Can happily married people who are having regular sex stop posting here? This thread isn’t about you, it’s not helping us.

[Anonymous]

Sex is not necessary for survival, like water, air, and food. Yes, it's nice to have it but it's not essential.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another single mom who would prefer to have sex in a LTR. Threads such as morning sex one are depressing

I agree. I wanted to reply to that how jealous I was. OMG, I would have morning sex every day. And sex every night.

Is that how you became a single mom?

Do you really believe that sex cures all? As long as there is sex in the relationship, there can be no other issues? If only she had sex morning and night, she wouldn’t be a single mom?

No but it is a defining factor in practically every marriage that’s ever existed. It is the most effective bonding and communication method.

You can try to frame your argument anyway you want, but that’s the truth and you know it. Look at this forum and yourself: when you decided by fiat that sex was no longer a part of your marriage, how much longer did it last and you were divorced? If I asked your XDH, what would he say about you turning it off?

She stated she’d have sex any time of day, you’re a bit of a dim bulb. Perhaps that is why you’re dating your hand?

Her statement is a theoretical projection of what she thinks she’d do with her fictitious Prince Charming. In reality though, her previous relationships have become sexless within year 2. Believe her actions and her track record, not her words on an anonymous forum

You have become disconnected from reality. I suspect you already know this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another single mom who would prefer to have sex in a LTR. Threads such as morning sex one are depressing

I agree. I wanted to reply to that how jealous I was. OMG, I would have morning sex every day. And sex every night.

Is that how you became a single mom?

Do you really believe that sex cures all? As long as there is sex in the relationship, there can be no other issues? If only she had sex morning and night, she wouldn’t be a single mom?

No but it is a defining factor in practically every marriage that’s ever existed. It is the most effective bonding and communication method.

You can try to frame your argument anyway you want, but that’s the truth and you know it. Look at this forum and yourself: when you decided by fiat that sex was no longer a part of your marriage, how much longer did it last and you were divorced? If I asked your XDH, what would he say about you turning it off?

She stated she’d have sex any time of day, you’re a bit of a dim bulb. Perhaps that is why you’re dating your hand?

Her statement is a theoretical projection of what she thinks she’d do with her fictitious Prince Charming. In reality though, her previous relationships have become sexless within year 2. Believe her actions and her track record, not her words on an anonymous forum

You have become disconnected from reality. I suspect you already know this.

Is this what your Women’s Studies degree from Kaplan taught you?

[Anonymous]

I used to have sex often but DH got cancer and heart failure from chemo, and we live from treatment to treatment for the past 5 years. No more sex for me. Bob. Battery operated boyfriend. He feels so crappy all the time, there’s not much affection or companionship. I’m venting, but I’m not finding many bright moments to enjoy with him, and I can’t name very many moments where I think he’s living life. Maybe with sports. He loves watching football. On the other hand, we had our first grandchild, which to me is a delight. He is uninterested in the grandchild. When he passes, I’m guessing the granny dating crowd is nonexistent (I’m 50).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to have sex often but DH got cancer and heart failure from chemo, and we live from treatment to treatment for the past 5 years. No more sex for me. Bob. Battery operated boyfriend. He feels so crappy all the time, there’s not much affection or companionship. I’m venting, but I’m not finding many bright moments to enjoy with him, and I can’t name very many moments where I think he’s living life. Maybe with sports. He loves watching football. On the other hand, we had our first grandchild, which to me is a delight. He is uninterested in the grandchild. When he passes, I’m guessing the granny dating crowd is nonexistent (I’m 50).

I wouldn't be so sure. But, sorry you're having a hard time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to have sex often but DH got cancer and heart failure from chemo, and we live from treatment to treatment for the past 5 years. No more sex for me. Bob. Battery operated boyfriend. He feels so crappy all the time, there’s not much affection or companionship. I’m venting, but I’m not finding many bright moments to enjoy with him, and I can’t name very many moments where I think he’s living life. Maybe with sports. He loves watching football. On the other hand, we had our first grandchild, which to me is a delight. He is uninterested in the grandchild. When he passes, I’m guessing the granny dating crowd is nonexistent (I’m 50).

First, hang in there! No doubt your life is tough but your DH's is tougher.
Second, the granny dating crowd is alive and well. But like all dating it takes work.
Third, enjoy Bob.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quite a few married men that are in town for the weekend on Tinder. Check it out, wealthy ones too.

Why do men on here think that most women find married men desireable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sex is not necessary for survival, like water, air, and food. Yes, it's nice to have it but it's not essential.

It's necessary for good mental, emotional, and physical health.

Mere survival isn't saying much. People survive solitary confinement for decades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quite a few married men that are in town for the weekend on Tinder. Check it out, wealthy ones too.

Why do men on here think that most women find married men desireable?

Many do. Quick, easy and no messy relationships. Wham, bam thank you ma’am