I'm going to fly across the country and try to get my long-distance ex boyfriend back AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it. It won't work, you will look crazy. Save the money and go buy something fabulous or do a spa day.

I don't think this is right - it implies that OP will give the appearance of being crazy, when that isn't the case.

It actually is, really and truly, crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I learned in my early 20's that life is not like in the movies. Things that are portrayed as romantic are sometimes creepy and misguided in real life.
I predict that the guy will sleep with you and dump you afterwards.

even in the movies, they don't make the boy block the girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be funny if his girlfriend answers the door.

this! OP, what are you going to do if there is another woman at his place?

He doesn't have a pet rabbit, does he? A white one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did it end? Do you know if he's still single?

It hasn't been very long since we broke up. He broke up with me because the long distance was too painful and I was not handling it well. He got sick before a scheduled visit about 10 days ago - with pneumonia, so he really couldn't fly - and we were looking forward to that trip and holding on to it that losing it made us both feel hopeless. So a day later he ended it cold turkey, no contact. I understand completely why he did it but ultimately it was one-sided and I'd rather to be with him.

I have no idea how this will work out for you, but I will share my story - After a 3-month summer of love, my boyfriend moved away for a new job (we knew all along that was coming). We tried to do long distance, but he broke up with me a few months into it because, like you, I was not handling it well. I accepted it, did not beg (although I was severely broken hearted), and kept my dignity. We kept in touch as friends (since we had a really great connection person-to-person), and a year later he made a grand gesture to try to get back together. We've now been married for 4 years.

I think graciously accepting his decision and moving on made my now DH wake up and realize what he had lost. I could be wrong, but maybe my story can help you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did it end? Do you know if he's still single?

It hasn't been very long since we broke up. He broke up with me because the long distance was too painful and I was not handling it well. He got sick before a scheduled visit about 10 days ago - with pneumonia, so he really couldn't fly - and we were looking forward to that trip and holding on to it that losing it made us both feel hopeless. So a day later he ended it cold turkey, no contact. I understand completely why he did it but ultimately it was one-sided and I'd rather to be with him.

I have no idea how this will work out for you, but I will share my story - After a 3-month summer of love, my boyfriend moved away for a new job (we knew all along that was coming). We tried to do long distance, but he broke up with me a few months into it because, like you, I was not handling it well. I accepted it, did not beg (although I was severely broken hearted), and kept my dignity. We kept in touch as friends (since we had a really great connection person-to-person), and a year later he made a grand gesture to try to get back together. We've now been married for 4 years.

I think graciously accepting his decision and moving on made my now DH wake up and realize what he had lost. I could be wrong, but maybe my story can help you.

Cool story bro

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did it end? Do you know if he's still single?

It hasn't been very long since we broke up. He broke up with me because the long distance was too painful and I was not handling it well. He got sick before a scheduled visit about 10 days ago - with pneumonia, so he really couldn't fly - and we were looking forward to that trip and holding on to it that losing it made us both feel hopeless. So a day later he ended it cold turkey, no contact. I understand completely why he did it but ultimately it was one-sided and I'd rather to be with him.

I have no idea how this will work out for you, but I will share my story - After a 3-month summer of love, my boyfriend moved away for a new job (we knew all along that was coming). We tried to do long distance, but he broke up with me a few months into it because, like you, I was not handling it well. I accepted it, did not beg (although I was severely broken hearted), and kept my dignity. We kept in touch as friends (since we had a really great connection person-to-person), and a year later he made a grand gesture to try to get back together. We've now been married for 4 years.

I think graciously accepting his decision and moving on made my now DH wake up and realize what he had lost. I could be wrong, but maybe my story can help you.

OP, pay attention to this. showing up at his doorstep is just going to reinforce his view that you are needy, desperate, selfish and unstable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did it end? Do you know if he's still single?

It hasn't been very long since we broke up. He broke up with me because the long distance was too painful and I was not handling it well. He got sick before a scheduled visit about 10 days ago - with pneumonia, so he really couldn't fly - and we were looking forward to that trip and holding on to it that losing it made us both feel hopeless. So a day later he ended it cold turkey, no contact. I understand completely why he did it but ultimately it was one-sided and I'd rather to be with him.

I have no idea how this will work out for you, but I will share my story - After a 3-month summer of love, my boyfriend moved away for a new job (we knew all along that was coming). We tried to do long distance, but he broke up with me a few months into it because, like you, I was not handling it well. I accepted it, did not beg (although I was severely broken hearted), and kept my dignity. We kept in touch as friends (since we had a really great connection person-to-person), and a year later he made a grand gesture to try to get back together. We've now been married for 4 years.

I think graciously accepting his decision and moving on made my now DH wake up and realize what he had lost. I could be wrong, but maybe my story can help you.

LULZ!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did it end? Do you know if he's still single?

It hasn't been very long since we broke up. He broke up with me because the long distance was too painful and I was not handling it well. He got sick before a scheduled visit about 10 days ago - with pneumonia, so he really couldn't fly - and we were looking forward to that trip and holding on to it that losing it made us both feel hopeless. So a day later he ended it cold turkey, no contact. I understand completely why he did it but ultimately it was one-sided and I'd rather to be with him.

I have no idea how this will work out for you, but I will share my story - After a 3-month summer of love, my boyfriend moved away for a new job (we knew all along that was coming). We tried to do long distance, but he broke up with me a few months into it because, like you, I was not handling it well. I accepted it, did not beg (although I was severely broken hearted), and kept my dignity. We kept in touch as friends (since we had a really great connection person-to-person), and a year later he made a grand gesture to try to get back together. We've now been married for 4 years.

I think graciously accepting his decision and moving on made my now DH wake up and realize what he had lost. I could be wrong, but maybe my story can help you.

LULZ!

I don't know what you are implying, but I just meant that long distance was making me needy and emotional. He was starting a new job and needed to concentrate. I, like OP, was being selfish. By recognizing this when he broke it off and backing off, I was able to redeem myself.

[Anonymous]

Oh sweet pea, I seriously am saying this with nothing but love-please DO NOT do this.

[Anonymous]

You guys dated for 4 months, you flipped out on him and pushed him to break up with you because he couldn't come due to a life-threatening illness, he has made it clear he doesn't want to hear from you, and now you're going to show up on his doorstep? OP, you don't need a boyfriend, you need counseling.

[Anonymous]

Check out the book “He’s Just not that into you”.

If you really MUST go, then please try the edible arrangements approach suggested above. Don’t just show up at his residence.

And please keep us posted! Do you leave tonight?

[Anonymous]

How long did you date in person (not counting meeting online)? Then how long did you date long distance?

Don't do this. It sounds like you haven't seen him in 4 months. He had moved on and is introducing his girlfriend to his parents or he has a girlfriend and isn't introducing her.

He blocked you, that sounds childish and hurtful. Move on. Spend the money on a nice vacation. It takes time to get over a breakup.

[Anonymous]

10 13 here. I would also like to add that when you let a guy go that doesn't want to be with you, you will eventually open yourself up to being with someone who wants to be with you.

Don't be chasing after a guy that doesn't want to be with you! It's not worth it.

[Anonymous]

HA! I did this in college once - a guy I was seeing was the the brother of a friend of mine and went to law school about 3.5 hours away. After a few months, he broke up with me and said the usual, "I really like you but this distance is killing me, yada yada yada". So I took it upon myself to do the grand gesture of driving out to see him and showing up at his apartment.

Yep, you guessed it... A girl was there...

Not my finest moment, but you're only young and dumb once!

[Anonymous]

Can you walk us through how you envision this unfolding, best case scenario?

What’s the worst case scenario that you picture happening?