I'm going to fly across the country and try to get my long-distance ex boyfriend back AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oooh. Bad form to fight with someone sick. If I were you I'd send an Edible Arrangements and an apology first. Then get a reservation at a fancy restaurant and ask him to meet you there rather than show up at his door.

I can't, he's blocked me. I've given him a week of space and should be giving him more but I just have to do something. I will regret it forever if I don't see his face one more time.

[Anonymous]

this is weird.

[Anonymous]

this is weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:this is weird.

Yes, it's weird and crazy. I'm only talking about it here because I can't tell anyone I know about it because they will rightfully think I'm crazy and try to talk me out of it.

[Anonymous]

If you're totally honest with yourself, is part of it that you don't like the rejection? Or is it 100% truly thag you love him?

Who made the first move?
How many serious boyfriends have you had?
Where are you flying from?
What's the plan - are you just going to show up at his place in the evening (ie after work) and hope he's there? Do you have a speech prepared?
Does he have Christmas plans?

For real you better keep us posted! I'm rooting for you !

[Anonymous]

This is a really, really bad idea. If he has blocked you on every channel, he really really really is done with you. Even if he was all in, he might be horrified for you just to show up on his doorstep. I tried that once, thinking my FWB was going to be delighted by the surprise, and he was dismayed. People don't like that kind of surprises under the best of circumstances, and these are the worst of circumstances.

It is too late. You need to let him go. You might be regretting how you handled his alleged pneumonia (we really don't know, do we; maybe he just couldn't do long distance any more and didn't know a graceful way out), but if you freaked out on him and he blocked you and then you fly across the country to show up on his doorstep, that makes you basically a stalker. That ought to finish the demise if he had any doubt about it. Guaranteed.

So you might as well save your money and time and just accept the new reality.

Besides, surely you can find someone on your coast rather than torturing someone you only dated for four months before you went cross country.

[Anonymous]

PP just above with more to add. The way he handled it (blocking you) was disrespectful, but you freaking out on him was disrespectful too, making it all about you when (if) he had pneumonia. Now if you fly across the country and "surprise" him, that is even MORE disrespectful. There is no way a relationship can recover from this piling on of disrespect.

If it is meant to be, he'll calm down and reach out someday. You don't need to "regret it forever" if you don't do this horrible, crazy idea. I assure you that you'll regret it forever if you do it.

[Anonymous]

He probably wouldn't block an Edible Arrangements delivery which can include the invitation. If he doesn't show you don't have to pay for his meal. Worth a try before gracelessly showing up at his door.

[Anonymous]

You were only dating for 4 months? You sound crazy and It is understandable why your boyfriend wants nothing to do with you. He blocked you and you are going to fly across country and show up on his doorstep unannounced. Crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You were only dating for 4 months? You sound crazy and It is understandable why your boyfriend wants nothing to do with you. He blocked you and you are going to fly across country and show up on his doorstep unannounced. Crazy.

I know it is!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a really, really bad idea. If he has blocked you on every channel, he really really really is done with you. Even if he was all in, he might be horrified for you just to show up on his doorstep. I tried that once, thinking my FWB was going to be delighted by the surprise, and he was dismayed. People don't like that kind of surprises under the best of circumstances, and these are the worst of circumstances.

It is too late. You need to let him go. You might be regretting how you handled his alleged pneumonia (we really don't know, do we; maybe he just couldn't do long distance any more and didn't know a graceful way out), but if you freaked out on him and he blocked you and then you fly across the country to show up on his doorstep, that makes you basically a stalker. That ought to finish the demise if he had any doubt about it. Guaranteed.

So you might as well save your money and time and just accept the new reality.

Besides, surely you can find someone on your coast rather than torturing someone you only dated for four months before you went cross country.

I really do appreciate it, and I've told myself this exact thing over and over and over for the past week. But I need to do this.

[Anonymous]

Please tell us how it goes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were only dating for 4 months? You sound crazy and It is understandable why your boyfriend wants nothing to do with you. He blocked you and you are going to fly across country and show up on his doorstep unannounced. Crazy.

I know it is!

That’s why he broke up with you and you showing up is not going to change his mind unless he is really stupid. You sound and act mentally ill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're totally honest with yourself, is part of it that you don't like the rejection? Or is it 100% truly thag you love him?

Who made the first move?
How many serious boyfriends have you had?
Where are you flying from?
What's the plan - are you just going to show up at his place in the evening (ie after work) and hope he's there? Do you have a speech prepared?
Does he have Christmas plans?

For real you better keep us posted! I'm rooting for you !

The rejection stings. A lot. I feel betrayed but I love him so much I need to see him.

We met on okcupid. I thought I messaged him first, but he remembers messaging me months before but I don't think I ever got it or read it.

This is my second serious boyfriend, and my first time being dumped.

I'm flying from a west coast state.

The plan is to fly in pretty late, get a place to stay for the night, and go to his house in the morning. He won't be at work. He might not be there, if he's not I'll try to get in touch with him and ask him if he'll meet me. I don't have a speech. I don't even have much to say except I'm sorry for acting like a fool. I just need to see his stupid handsome face one more time, at least.

He'll be with his family for Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were only dating for 4 months? You sound crazy and It is understandable why your boyfriend wants nothing to do with you. He blocked you and you are going to fly across country and show up on his doorstep unannounced. Crazy.

I know it is!

That’s why he broke up with you and you showing up is not going to change his mind unless he is really stupid. You sound and act mentally ill.

I know. I really know.