Teen death at Whitman?

[Anonymous]

So, what were your teens doing last weekend?

They were not at drinking parties, so what were they doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents should be installing cameras like the ring doorbell or other cameras on their front and back doors, also in basement or rec room. This will keep them informed as to what is going on, who is entering their house and also might dissuade their kids from doing things they shouldn't be doing.

+ 1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, what were your teens doing last weekend?

They were not at drinking parties, so what were they doing?

Mine was having a sleepover at her all girls boarding school. We could not keep up with what goes on in our own backyard. We made the right choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, what were your teens doing last weekend?

They were not at drinking parties, so what were they doing?

Mine was on line gaming with about 30 of his friends.

[Anonymous]

Kids fled

This is the problem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, what were your teens doing last weekend?

They were not at drinking parties, so what were they doing?

Mine was on line gaming with about 30 of his friends.

Where were they?
Where were you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, what were your teens doing last weekend?

They were not at drinking parties, so what were they doing?

Mine volunteered with an animal rescue, helped decorate our Christmas Tree, studied for upcoming finals, had lunch with their grandma, did some shopping, met friends at a restaurant....

Why do you ask?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Kids fled

This is the problem

A very foreseeable problem, right? Kids almost always flee when parties like this get busted...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, what were your teens doing last weekend?

They were not at drinking parties, so what were they doing?

Attended a school-sponsored activity Friday night then came home. Babysat on Saturday.

[Anonymous]

I feel this sort of partying has been going on for a long, long time and rarely do tragedies like this happen.

I went to many of these when I was college age and I walked home from lots of parties during much colder weather than this - once barefooted (long story). Kids this age feel invincible, they are just intending to have fun and party with their friends. No one expects something like this to happen. There was no malicious intent here. Just stupidity.

I'm not excusing anyone, just pointing out that no one wanted anybody to get hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will most definitely not be the "cool" parent who allows my teen to let his friends drink at our house. Unbelievable how stupid some parents are.

We have no idea what happened here but the lack of a sheltered place to drink possibly combined with fear of a parent finding out about drinking may have been what caused this to happen. Or a kid could have been so drunk they could not get themselves home safely which was far more likely at an unattended party.

Teenagers will drink. And teenagers will have sex.

The challenge is to make sure when they do either they do it responsibly and safely.

You can be self righteous and pretend otherwise but you are far more likely to fail as a parent if you are busy pretending your lecturing is going to keep them safe rather than putting the structure in their lives to minimize the chance of something terrible happening.

NP. But they shouldn't. And I refuse to give into this "boys will be boys" mentality. I'm sure you love being the cool parent but you are doing your kids no favors.

+1. Not all high school kids drink. Not all high school kids are sexually active. And their peer group has a lot to do with whether your kids drink and have sex. You can’t choose your high school kids friends. But you can influence who they become friends with. Both by raising them to be kids who think it is more important to have friends who are nice than friends who are cool. And by making it hard for your kids to be too “cool”. Just because “everyone” has something, or does something, doesn’t mean you have to buy it for your kid or let your kid do it.

honestly you guys are kind of delusional. no - not all high school kids do this, but most do. and high school kids who do are still nice kids! I think it's better to be aware of what might be going on and make sure your kids know they can have open communication to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, what were your teens doing last weekend?

They were not at drinking parties, so what were they doing?

Mine volunteered with an animal rescue, helped decorate our Christmas Tree, studied for upcoming finals, had lunch with their grandma, did some shopping, met friends at a restaurant....

Why do you ask?

I think we need more for teens to do.

One went to the movies and ice skating.

The other was playing a sport, then watching football with his fantasy football friends.

They both did special Olympics.

Idk, there is not a whole lot of free things for teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will most definitely not be the "cool" parent who allows my teen to let his friends drink at our house. Unbelievable how stupid some parents are.

We have no idea what happened here but the lack of a sheltered place to drink possibly combined with fear of a parent finding out about drinking may have been what caused this to happen. Or a kid could have been so drunk they could not get themselves home safely which was far more likely at an unattended party.

Teenagers will drink. And teenagers will have sex.

The challenge is to make sure when they do either they do it responsibly and safely.

You can be self righteous and pretend otherwise but you are far more likely to fail as a parent if you are busy pretending your lecturing is going to keep them safe rather than putting the structure in their lives to minimize the chance of something terrible happening.

NP. But they shouldn't. And I refuse to give into this "boys will be boys" mentality. I'm sure you love being the cool parent but you are doing your kids no favors.

+1. Not all high school kids drink. Not all high school kids are sexually active. And their peer group has a lot to do with whether your kids drink and have sex. You can’t choose your high school kids friends. But you can influence who they become friends with. Both by raising them to be kids who think it is more important to have friends who are nice than friends who are cool. And by making it hard for your kids to be too “cool”. Just because “everyone” has something, or does something, doesn’t mean you have to buy it for your kid or let your kid do it.

honestly you guys are kind of delusional. no - not all high school kids do this, but most do. and high school kids who do are still nice kids! I think it's better to be aware of what might be going on and make sure your kids know they can have open communication to you.

The rate of current alcohol consumption increases with age, according to the 2011 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, from 2% at age 12 to 21% at age 16, and 55% at age 20.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, what were your teens doing last weekend?

They were not at drinking parties, so what were they doing?

Mine was on line gaming with about 30 of his friends.

Where were they?
Where were you?

He was here at home, with me. The friends were at home too, of necessity ... on their PCs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, what were your teens doing last weekend?

They were not at drinking parties, so what were they doing?

Mine volunteered with an animal rescue, helped decorate our Christmas Tree, studied for upcoming finals, had lunch with their grandma, did some shopping, met friends at a restaurant....

Why do you ask?

I think we need more for teens to do.

One went to the movies and ice skating.

The other was playing a sport, then watching football with his fantasy football friends.

They both did special Olympics.

Idk, there is not a whole lot of free things for teens.

I think it sounds like they had fun. My kids love to shoot hoops and they enjoy sports. They also like to work out at the gym, go mountain biking, kayaking (weather permitting)...

They find stuff to do.