This is shade, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shade AF. She's jealous. Hater.

Haha, you made me laugh, PP.

Thanks!

My dress is not unusual for where I work. I do not expect everyone to agree, though. I wanted to know if you all thought she was being a low-key biotch.

Serious question: why do you dress so slovenly at your office?

There are $400 ripped jeans for sale in the department stores that DCUMmies in the beauty and fashion forum go crazy for. My most fashionable cousin - who is extremely wealthy - wore such jeans to our last Passover seder.

And there are certainly $4000 ball gowns for sale that are gorgeous and timeless. Doesn't make them work appropriate. Most dress codes aren't just a minimum dollar amount to be spent on each piece of clothing.

I was responding to the description of ripped jeans as "slovenly." They are not necessarily slovenly in the way you seem to be suggesting.

I worked in a newsroom for many years where jeans, with holes, wouldn't have been looked at twice. I imagine that OP probably knows her agency's dress code better than anyone else does, including that person in the elevator who decided that she was being paid to police other people's clothing choices.

OP herself said the woman works in her same office and is older than (and likely has been there longer than) OP, so I'm not sure why you believe OP knows the dress code better than she does. Additionally, every other Fed that has responded to the thread has also expressed that OP was not dressed appropriately, same as the initial coworker. The only people acting like this is appropriate office attire are stipulating that they work in tech startups on the West Coast, which means they are working from entirely different culture and expectations.

OP is dressed inappropriately and was rude to her coworker.

I believe OP is a grownup with a job, who didn't turn to her coworker to ask for advice re: her jeans but rather stated that her outfit was squarely within her understanding of the agency's dress code. The person in the elevator decided that she had better insight into that dress code than the OP herself. We have no way of knowing if that person is correct or not. For all anyone knows she's one of the countless misguided but stubborn people in the beauty forum advising that any true lady would never wear a skirt without hose.

Anyway, I don't care about this that much. I just really object to the idea that OP is under any obligation to respond to that person in the elevator in any way other than she did.

Re-read the OP. That's not what happened. She didn't say anything at all to her coworker, she shook her head and walked away. Nothing about OP's behavior, as described in her initial post or as evidenced in her replies, says "grownup with a job." Not responding to direct questions from coworkers, dressing inappropriately at work, insisting that her too-casual outfit is "cute," calling anyone who disagrees a "hater"? No.

OP is not obligated to behave politely or professionally at work. But she still should.

I guess in my experience it's worse to be a passive-aggressive assh*le than to walk away from a passive aggressive assh*le but YMMV.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter if everyone else is wearing ripped jeans. One should NOT wear ripped jeans in an office/at an office job.

You deserve to be given a warning by HR for what you are wearing. You are not supposed to look "cute!" at your office. You are supposed to look professional.

And I say this as a 20-something who works at a tech firm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I guess in my experience it's worse to be a passive-aggressive assh*le than to walk away from a passive aggressive assh*le but YMMV.

What do you call walking away, if not being passive aggressive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I guess in my experience it's worse to be a passive-aggressive assh*le than to walk away from a passive aggressive assh*le but YMMV.

What do you call walking away, if not being passive aggressive?

I call that reasonably avoiding a confrontation

[Anonymous]

Am I the only one who assumed this was a troll?

[Anonymous]

OP here:

Whoa, this blew up! I hadn't expected that.

Actually, I work in the IT directorate for my agency. Our dress code is lax, especially on Thursdays when we're encouraged to wear team jerseys. Some of you are ridiculous. I don't owe a stiff old biddy an answer to her busy body attempt at an insult.

**Those of you defending my position and/or response to her, THANK YOU!

Lastly, I didn't use the word hater (I never use that word) as one PP suggested. Although, shade is, in fact, used properly in my post/title.

Carry on...

[Anonymous]

I don't think OP sounds like she is dressed appropriately. ::hint:: we know 'fuzzy boots' are Uggs. However, unless elevator woman is in a position of authority over OP, she has no business commenting on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

Whoa, this blew up! I hadn't expected that.

Actually, I work in the IT directorate for my agency. Our dress code is lax, especially on Thursdays when we're encouraged to wear team jerseys. Some of you are ridiculous. I don't owe a stiff old biddy an answer to her busy body attempt at an insult.

**Those of you defending my position and/or response to her, THANK YOU!

Lastly, I didn't use the word hater (I never use that word) as one PP suggested. Although, shade is, in fact, used properly in my post/title.

Carry on...

Shade is used incorrectly throughout. Shade is indirect, and your coworker was being very direct. You quoted someone who called her a hater and then called your coworker a bitch in your response. Good luck staying employed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were incredibly rude, OP. When someone asks you a question, you answer, and when you feel it comes with judgement, you are allowed to be short instead of courteous. But failing to answer and shaking your head is grossly offensive.

This person really wants to confirm which office, even if she previously thought you both worked for the same office, because she can't believe that they would let you wear that crap to work. Yes, she's judging, but she also asked you a question and you need to answer.

You do not come to work with ripped jeans.
You do not walk in the corridors with ear buds.
You answer questions.
You say please and thank you.

Where on earth do you come from that you don't know these basic social skills?

So it's rude not to answer:

Why did you choose that ugly hair style?
How did you get so fat?

I don't think so. Not every question requires a response. If you're rude to me, you'll be ignored.

Taking things out of context.

[Anonymous]

Shade would be, "did you get lost on your way to Ultrabar?"

[Anonymous]

This thread is so DC! Being asked to judge someone, and on their appearance at that! And social niceties also! You all must be in heaven.

I like to think OP crafted a story just believable enough, and so clueless-sounding, that it'd be guaranteed to get page after page of self-righteous goodness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP sounds like she is dressed appropriately. ::hint:: we know 'fuzzy boots' are Uggs. However, unless elevator woman is in a position of authority over OP, she has no business commenting on it.

Oh, I forgot to mention that.

My boots are not Uggs. I don't own a pair of Uggs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't matter if everyone else is wearing ripped jeans. One should NOT wear ripped jeans in an office/at an office job.

You deserve to be given a warning by HR for what you are wearing. You are not supposed to look "cute!" at your office. You are supposed to look professional.

And I say this as a 20-something who works at a tech firm.

Oof, nothing like a good talking-to to get the blood going! Keep it up, we gotta make sure everybody is worrying that they're being judged. Rule-followers rule! Ripped jean-wearers drool!

[Anonymous]

Sorry, no ripped clothing, no matter how cute or trendy.

[Anonymous]

Both the jeans and walking around the office with headphones in your ear are inappropriate.