This is shade, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You were incredibly rude, OP. When someone asks you a question, you answer, and when you feel it comes with judgement, you are allowed to be short instead of courteous. But failing to answer and shaking your head is grossly offensive.

This person really wants to confirm which office, even if she previously thought you both worked for the same office, because she can't believe that they would let you wear that crap to work. Yes, she's judging, but she also asked you a question and you need to answer.

You do not come to work with ripped jeans.
You do not walk in the corridors with ear buds.
You answer questions.
You say please and thank you.

Where on earth do you come from that you don't know these basic social skills?

This! Holy crap, OP. I would expect better from a teenager!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, ripped jeans are not appropriate professional office attire ever (vs. working in retail selling ripped jeans, in which case go for it).

Second, why are you listening to a podcast on your nano during work hours? Is it work-related?

really have to wonder what position she holds and what agency this is that allows that.

I totally missed the nano reference.
At first I thought OP must be in her early 20s but there's no way 20 year olds are using an ipod nano...

I'm going to guess she's an admin.

I love how people on this board love to hate on the admins. I'm an admin and had to teach several of the associates in my firm how to dress properly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This thread is so DC! Being asked to judge someone, and on their appearance at that! And social niceties also! You all must be in heaven.

I like to think OP crafted a story just believable enough, and so clueless-sounding, that it'd be guaranteed to get page after page of self-righteous goodness.

Seriously, though. Even if you are dressed acceptably for your office, and even if she were acting like an old biddy without the authority to address your appearance, why be so rude in return? You had a choice. You could respond like you did, or you could have smiled warmly and said something about how much you love a job that lets you dress the way you like or whatever. I have often found that when dealing with someone who is mildly rude or hostile for no good reason, if I banter back as if we were having a friendly exchange, they are completely or at least grudgingly disarmed.

Choose to make the world a little friendlier, OP, not a little ruder. It takes the same amount of energy either way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, ripped jeans are not appropriate professional office attire ever (vs. working in retail selling ripped jeans, in which case go for it).

Second, why are you listening to a podcast on your nano during work hours? Is it work-related?

really have to wonder what position she holds and what agency this is that allows that.

I totally missed the nano reference.
At first I thought OP must be in her early 20s but there's no way 20 year olds are using an ipod nano...

I'm going to guess she's an admin.

I love how people on this board love to hate on the admins. I'm an admin and had to teach several of the associates in my firm how to dress properly.

Personally, I thought she was in IT.
There's no way I would criticize an IT person. I depend on them too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, ripped jeans are not appropriate professional office attire ever (vs. working in retail selling ripped jeans, in which case go for it).

Second, why are you listening to a podcast on your nano during work hours? Is it work-related?

really have to wonder what position she holds and what agency this is that allows that.

I totally missed the nano reference.
At first I thought OP must be in her early 20s but there's no way 20 year olds are using an ipod nano...

I'm going to guess she's an admin.

I love how people on this board love to hate on the admins. I'm an admin and had to teach several of the associates in my firm how to dress properly.

Personally, I thought she was in IT.
There's no way I would criticize an IT person. I depend on them too much.

But would any IT person worth their salt be using a nano?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, ripped jeans are not appropriate professional office attire ever (vs. working in retail selling ripped jeans, in which case go for it).

Second, why are you listening to a podcast on your nano during work hours? Is it work-related?

really have to wonder what position she holds and what agency this is that allows that.

I totally missed the nano reference.
At first I thought OP must be in her early 20s but there's no way 20 year olds are using an ipod nano...

I'm going to guess she's an admin.

I love how people on this board love to hate on the admins. I'm an admin and had to teach several of the associates in my firm how to dress properly.

Personally, I thought she was in IT.
There's no way I would criticize an IT person. I depend on them too much.

But would any IT person worth their salt be using a nano?

No.
IT admin.

It's clear she's not a career admin though. They have much more sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shade would be, "did you get lost on your way to Ultrabar?"

+1. OP seems she wants to be perceived as cool, but she used the term incorrectly.

NP. Neither of you know what shade is either. As I posted earlier, shade is subtle. It requires you to pause and only after a few seconds realize you have been insulted. "Did you get lost on your way to Ultrabar?" is a really obvious insult. If you wanted to throw shade while referencing Ultrabar, something like "Oh, you look ready to party! You must be on your way to Ultrabar" said in a perfectly cheerful tone would be the way. The person you said that to would have to pause, wonder why you thought she was headed there, realize that you were referencing her clothes, and then wonder if you intended an insult or are just obtuse. When thrown properly, shade creates plausible deniability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once, the intern in the office came in with ripped jeans and I asked her if they were ripped on purpose.

Now that's shade.

+10000. I am the PP who posted on shade being subtle. This right here is so shady that the sun must have clouded over for a moment after that comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work in a federal government office. Today, I'm wearing jeans, a dressy shirt, and warm/fuzzy boots. The jeans have knee holes, but they are not overly ripped. They're cute! (I am not dressed outside of my agency's approved dress code.)

I am listening to a podcast on my nano, and I walked to an elevator bay where there was another lady--an older lady. I know her (though, not well), and we work for the same office/directorate. She's asked me for help on something before, so I know she knows who I am. She has never been overly friendly.

We wait a few minutes for the elevator. After we're on the elevator, I hear her say, "Excuse me, miss! Miss!" (through the sound of the podcast I'm listening to).

I remove the ear bud, and tell her I'm sorry, I didn't hear her at first.

She said, "What office do you work for that lets you dress so casually?" I just looked at her dumbfounded. It definitely seemed like she was insulting me. I stared at her and sputtered from being caught of guard. She repeated her question--no smile, not friendly. I stared at her, shook my head, remained quiet, and walked out of the elevator once the door opened.

You guys, we work for the same office, so it definitely seemed like a bit of shade. Maybe I'm crazy, though.

Where are you from and what is your culture growing up

[Anonymous]

Good morning, biddies!

Since you all are so curious, I have to use a nano as it's the only device approved in my SCIF.

(I'm not an admin.)

Get out and have some fun today. Some of you are too uptight.

Later!

[Anonymous]

You lost me at “listening to a podcast on my nano”
Take your earbuds out and get with the program woman.
Your biggest problem might be your attitude, not your wardrobe. Jeez

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work in a federal government office. Today, I'm wearing jeans, a dressy shirt, and warm/fuzzy boots. The jeans have knee holes, but they are not overly ripped. They're cute! (I am not dressed outside of my agency's approved dress code.)

I am listening to a podcast on my nano, and I walked to an elevator bay where there was another lady--an older lady. I know her (though, not well), and we work for the same office/directorate. She's asked me for help on something before, so I know she knows who I am. She has never been overly friendly.

We wait a few minutes for the elevator. After we're on the elevator, I hear her say, "Excuse me, miss! Miss!" (through the sound of the podcast I'm listening to).

I remove the ear bud, and tell her I'm sorry, I didn't hear her at first.

She said, "What office do you work for that lets you dress so casually?" I just looked at her dumbfounded. It definitely seemed like she was insulting me. I stared at her and sputtered from being caught of guard. She repeated her question--no smile, not friendly. I stared at her, shook my head, remained quiet, and walked out of the elevator once the door opened.

You guys, we work for the same office, so it definitely seemed like a bit of shade. Maybe I'm crazy, though.

No, this is not shade. She was being clueless or bitchy, and you were being rude (and probably dressed inappropriately to boot). No need to overthink things. Next time don't wear ripped clothes to the office; don't wear earbuds around the office; and don't ignore a colleague who posed a direct question, regardless of how stupid the question is.

You're welcome.

[Anonymous]

This is the problem with casual Fridays.
I find it easier to just get dressed up every time I'm in the office than try to find something that would be good for casual Friday.
OP's outfit would need to be dark wash non-ripped denim and booties or tall boots (NO 'fuzzy' boots, which frankly sound like you were wearing Uggs).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shade would be, "did you get lost on your way to Ultrabar?"

+1. OP seems she wants to be perceived as cool, but she used the term incorrectly.

NP. Neither of you know what shade is either. As I posted earlier, shade is subtle. It requires you to pause and only after a few seconds realize you have been insulted. "Did you get lost on your way to Ultrabar?" is a really obvious insult. If you wanted to throw shade while referencing Ultrabar, something like "Oh, you look ready to party! You must be on your way to Ultrabar" said in a perfectly cheerful tone would be the way. The person you said that to would have to pause, wonder why you thought she was headed there, realize that you were referencing her clothes, and then wonder if you intended an insult or are just obtuse. When thrown properly, shade creates plausible deniability.

I'm the immediate PP--you're right. I grabbed the wrong post to agree with. Shade is more subtle. Rep. Maxine Waters is the queen of shade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shade would be, "did you get lost on your way to Ultrabar?"

+1. OP seems she wants to be perceived as cool, but she used the term incorrectly.

NP. Neither of you know what shade is either. As I posted earlier, shade is subtle. It requires you to pause and only after a few seconds realize you have been insulted. "Did you get lost on your way to Ultrabar?" is a really obvious insult. If you wanted to throw shade while referencing Ultrabar, something like "Oh, you look ready to party! You must be on your way to Ultrabar" said in a perfectly cheerful tone would be the way. The person you said that to would have to pause, wonder why you thought she was headed there, realize that you were referencing her clothes, and then wonder if you intended an insult or are just obtuse. When thrown properly, shade creates plausible deniability.

I'm the immediate PP--you're right. I grabbed the wrong post to agree with. Shade is more subtle. Rep. Maxine Waters is the queen of shade.

PP here. Yes, ma'am. Aunty Maxine is the Grand Duchess of Throwington Shadeham.