He broke up with me because he said that I nag too much

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm recently married and my new wife went through an "evolution" as the wedding approached and then became a wife.

Her behavior changed and she did start to "nag." We have had a couple of conversations about it. I noticed a change in behavior as soon as the engagement ring went on the finger and it progressively got worse as the wedding approached. Early in the relationship she was easy-going, happy, and grateful (said thank you and please). That turned into "did you do that... did you do this... why didn't you do.... etc." I wouldn't even be done with one to-do before she would start asking about the next thing. These were not wedding-to-do's. It started to become her habit. Luckily I had told her early on in the relationship that I would not accept her nagging me like her mother nags her father. That I will not accept her pecking away at me to wear my down over time to get what she wants.

Bottom line is that nagging is real and those on this board that want to assign blame to the bf are biased. Accept that nagging is real. Do not deny his life experience. It may also be that he has other reasons as well.

Yup, this.

And oh, BTW, men can be real nags too. I'm specifically talking about OCD men who require wives to do everything meticulously their way and nag their wives when perfect is not achieved.

[Anonymous]

Woman: Did you do what you said you'd do.

ManChild: Uh, No, not important to me. you do it.


Things ARE different when you are engaged or married. You are supposed to be able to count on your spouse. If they are dropping the ball, what are you supposed to do - Nothing/Do it all for them or Remind them.
Either way you lose, you married a ManChild.

[Anonymous]

OP since it was so abrupt I think the real reason is he met someone. I had a guy who did the same thing, but when i started snooping I found out he was seeing someone.

I think he's interested in someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP since it was so abrupt I think the real reason is he met someone. I had a guy who did the same thing, but when i started snooping I found out he was seeing someone.

I think he's interested in someone else.

Not necessarily. I dumped someone once because I realized they were to whiney. They were complaining about their job and I just realized that I don't want to deal with this my whole life and told them it was over. Very abrupt. No other reason. They were shocked. My reasons was "you whine to much. We should break up. Bye."

Maybe he does have other reasons. But we have no evidence of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's see... is "nagging" codeword for "asked him to do an equal level of work for you isn't of allowing him to laze around?" Because that's usually what it's code for, and I would be throwing myself a party for getting out of that before i had kids.

"Nagging" also means you're an unpleasant nag. Occam's Razor: google it.

Or that you forgot to factor in significant amounts of work that it takes to run a household.

Thing is, I don't think you dodged a bullet. I think you've been given an opportunity to see things from another perspective. Maybe SO is t pulling his share. Maybe you underestimated his share. And maybe you are in different places in terms of how to form a household.

For a childless couple, the amount of work it takes to run a household is minimal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, dating for 3 years. Engaged for 6 months. He just moved out a week ago.
He hasn't told anyone, his fb status still says engaged.

He told me that I nag too much, that is his reason.

Ok, it hit me like a ton of bricks when he said this and moved out.

Lesson learned.

How can I get him to realize that I get what he is saying. I was a nag, I was off the beam. This was the biggest reality check for me.

Help, any advice to get him to have faith in me and that I am taking this seriously?

I would call him, set up a time to meet and talk to him. Ask him how he feels and sit there and listen, don't argue with him. See if what he has to say is fair, then be really honest with yourself, how bad were you and can you really change. I know calling off a wedding is a really hard thing to do, but it is better to not get into a bad marriage than be stuck in one or going through the process of getting out of it. If you really want to be with him, postpone the wedding and make sure you guys are happy again.

The right thing for both of you may be to move on. Some women can be difficult during wedding planning, before I was married I sat next to a co-worker who was engaged, her and her close friends at work constantly trashed her fiance. They talked about how he should not be allowed to have an opinion, otherwise he would ruin the wedding. She would ask his opinion about something, she mentioned his opinion to her friends and they would convince her it would ruin the wedding. I decided then and there I would never be that kind of bride.

While I was not that bad, I was a bit of a handful from time to time during my wedding planning. My husband was the best fiance ever though, he made me agree to ground rules before the wedding planning started and he only pointed out my violations of them a fraction of the time he could have. One of the most important rules for us was he would keep his mom in check and I would keep mine in check. I never told him that I had to tell my mom when she threatened to not pay for the wedding when she was not getting her way (she wanted something I think my husband would have called off the wedding for and he would have been right to do so if I had allowed it) that would be fine but she would not be invited to the wedding not see any grandchildren ever. This was not about her paying for the wedding (she insisted she and Dad would contribute, we had planned on paying for it ourselves), it was about her threatening to withhold money if she did not get her way on something completely unacceptable. My dad really saved the day, he and mom had a big fight and didn't talk for 3 days over this because he sided with me. Funny thing is we laugh about it now and mom actually apologized to my husband for nearly ruining our marriage before it started, though he will never know the details of how.

Um this is not at all an example of functional relationship. Nothing but drama and manipulation. Toxic city.

It's funny that the first person to try and actually give advice instead of spewing some feminist nonsense is criticized... Without offering any advice yourself... I can see what type of person you are...

[Anonymous]

Boy bye!

[Anonymous]

All the bitter women on here are hilarious. If you hate your lives so much, do something to change it. HINT: Coming on DCUM and spewing your bitterness is probably not the answer.

This young lady admitted that she is a nag. She offers NO evidence that her fiancé was a bad person, didn't do his part, and that she went overboard with the nagging. So, I am curious as to why the angry DCUM women come out in full force, completely ignore the OP who asked for how to convince her fiancé she can relax and get him back.

Instead, you all just make fools of yourselves by personalizing a situation that is not your own, and telling this girl she did nothing wrong and to hate men and become a lesbian.

Wow, so glad I don't know people like you in real life.

Part of life is being able to accept responsibility for your mistakes and trying to find ways to be a better person. None of that is achieved by blaming others and not admitting to fault.

[Anonymous]

Lots of men are really caught up in the fantasy of a woman who will bring in income, cook, clean, set up their social calendars and be sex kittens. Any expectations for equality, especially as regards household chores, are called "nagging."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Instead, you all just make fools of yourselves by personalizing a situation that is not your own, and telling this girl she did nothing wrong and to hate men and become a lesbian.

Wow, so glad I don't know people like you in real life.

These are the women Patrick J. Buchanan warned us about!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of men are really caught up in the fantasy of a woman who will bring in income, cook, clean, set up their social calendars and be sex kittens. Any expectations for equality, especially as regards household chores, are called "nagging."

I would have just settled for sex kitten. She didn't do any of the other stuff.

[Anonymous]

These are the women Patrick J. Buchanan warned us about!

Mexicans? Poles? Armenians? Pat hates a lot of people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of men are really caught up in the fantasy of a woman who will bring in income, cook, clean, set up their social calendars and be sex kittens. Any expectations for equality, especially as regards household chores, are called "nagging."

And lots of women are simply nags in the truest sense of the word.

[Anonymous]

If you really still want to be with him, you make an appointment for couples counseling and have him meet you there to talk through the issues. He must not really want to end it if he hasn't told anyone or publicized the break up. He could just be threatening to see how you'll react. Just react like a reasonable person and see what happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm recently married and my new wife went through an "evolution" as the wedding approached and then became a wife.

Her behavior changed and she did start to "nag." We have had a couple of conversations about it. I noticed a change in behavior as soon as the engagement ring went on the finger and it progressively got worse as the wedding approached. Early in the relationship she was easy-going, happy, and grateful (said thank you and please). That turned into "did you do that... did you do this... why didn't you do.... etc." I wouldn't even be done with one to-do before she would start asking about the next thing. These were not wedding-to-do's. It started to become her habit. Luckily I had told her early on in the relationship that I would not accept her nagging me like her mother nags her father. That I will not accept her pecking away at me to wear my down over time to get what she wants.

Bottom line is that nagging is real and those on this board that want to assign blame to the bf are biased. Accept that nagging is real. Do not deny his life experience. It may also be that he has other reasons as well.

So when is the divorce? Or are you properly whipped?