He broke up with me because he said that I nag too much

[Anonymous]

So, dating for 3 years. Engaged for 6 months. He just moved out a week ago.
He hasn't told anyone, his fb status still says engaged.

He told me that I nag too much, that is his reason.

Ok, it hit me like a ton of bricks when he said this and moved out.

Lesson learned.

How can I get him to realize that I get what he is saying. I was a nag, I was off the beam. This was the biggest reality check for me.

Help, any advice to get him to have faith in me and that I am taking this seriously?

[Anonymous]

I would be glad that I dodged a bullet and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be glad that I dodged a bullet and move on.

+1

[Anonymous]

He's probably lying and won't tell you the real reasons. Be glad an move on. You don't want to find out after marrying him that he's really not the one for you. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

How long have you lived together? What was the marriage date? What conversations have you had about nagging before?

[Anonymous]

Let's see... is "nagging" codeword for "asked him to do an equal level of work for you isn't of allowing him to laze around?" Because that's usually what it's code for, and I would be throwing myself a party for getting out of that before i had kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's see... is "nagging" codeword for "asked him to do an equal level of work for you isn't of allowing him to laze around?" Because that's usually what it's code for, and I would be throwing myself a party for getting out of that before i had kids.

"Nagging" also means you're an unpleasant nag. Occam's Razor: google it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's see... is "nagging" codeword for "asked him to do an equal level of work for you isn't of allowing him to laze around?" Because that's usually what it's code for, and I would be throwing myself a party for getting out of that before i had kids.

"Nagging" also means you're an unpleasant nag. Occam's Razor: google it.

No, it means your husband is a lazy entitled saddo not pulling his weight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's see... is "nagging" codeword for "asked him to do an equal level of work for you isn't of allowing him to laze around?" Because that's usually what it's code for, and I would be throwing myself a party for getting out of that before i had kids.

Yep. Sorry, OP. He sounds mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's see... is "nagging" codeword for "asked him to do an equal level of work for you isn't of allowing him to laze around?" Because that's usually what it's code for, and I would be throwing myself a party for getting out of that before i had kids.

"Nagging" also means you're an unpleasant nag. Occam's Razor: google it.

Or that you forgot to factor in significant amounts of work that it takes to run a household.

Thing is, I don't think you dodged a bullet. I think you've been given an opportunity to see things from another perspective. Maybe SO is t pulling his share. Maybe you underestimated his share. And maybe you are in different places in terms of how to form a household.

[Anonymous]

OP has admitted that she really is a nag. So why the make bashing? How could you overlook the part about her accepting his words as truth? The reality is that some women are real 'itches' who think it's cute to nag their men. No man or woman should feel harassed in their own home! If you can't find peace there, your life is hell!

I'm glad he moved on and realized he deserves peace. Maybe with OP's willingness to change they may be able to work things out. But being unable to hear a valid criticism keeps people from growing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's see... is "nagging" codeword for "asked him to do an equal level of work for you isn't of allowing him to laze around?" Because that's usually what it's code for, and I would be throwing myself a party for getting out of that before i had kids.

This.

[Anonymous]

If I lived in DC I would take you out for celebratory drinks, OP. Enjoy your newfound freedom.

[Anonymous]

We don't really know what he means ... he could actually just be wanting out and grasping at straws, or he has another girlfriend and he's convinced himself you are a nag. Whatever. You won here, my friend.

[Anonymous]

The responses here are unbelievable. OP admits she was a nag. The man isn't always the bad guy (and I'm a woman).

OP, next time just think before you speak. Tasks don't have to be completed one way and one way only. The sky won't fall if he wears a red shirt instead of a blue shirt. If he doesn't arrange the dishwasher the way you like, who cares? Next relationship, ask yourself before you correct something or change something, "is this really necessary?" Just chill.