How would you react if your date left to go help/comfort his ex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she has a sister he did not need to be there. Peace out.

Sounds like it was a long time before the sister could get there. Again, this is milk of human kindness stuff.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:We would both go so I know for a fact that's what happened.

Wow, you're not crazy controlling AT ALL.

Go read my response to another judgmental poster like yourself at 10:29.

I did read it, and I still think you're crazy controlling. If it's real, you not only have zero business being there, you'd probably be making it worse for the victim having this random chick tag along in her horribly scary and vulnerable moment. If it's not real, you'll figure that out pretty quickly before you're too involved with the guy without being there for this incident when more incidents start piling up in questionable ways.

I work DV victims daily so again, you don't know me or how I think in the most vulnerable situations for women and men.

If you think a random stranger with no connection to the situation other than having been on a date with a support person of the victim is entitled to be present in the aftermath of the assault, you have no business working with DV victims. It doesn't matter who you are or what you know, you are a random stranger and you should not be there.

I really hope you're lying about your work with DV victims, because the fact that you don't seem to understand this is deeply disturbing to someone who has also worked with DV victims.

Shut up; you're still trying to argue with someone you don't know; you do you and I'll do me

And the crazy just keeps coming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here .
For full disclosure this wasn't the first date.
We've been going out about 4 months.
He broke up with his ex close to 2 years ago. They split because she wanted something serious and he didn't. They were friends before dating. The only dated for a few months before they split. They didn't talk for almost a year after the split but have been on speaking terms for a while now, before I started seeing him. By speaking terms I mean they exchange texts maybe a couple of times of week . The texts are like what I would send to my brother.
I knew he was still in contact with her early on because he told me about all his friends, and he never hid that she was an ex.

Anyway, we were hanging out together at his place last night when he got the call from her. He wasn't playing on his phone but he did check it when it went off because his dad has had some recent health scares, so he'll check even late at night in case of an emergency.

He answered. He told me what was up before he left. He was with her most of the night until her sister arrived.
We weren't doing anything but watching TV when he left.
I do feel he did the right thing my going.
But I'm also feeling conflicted about things now. I don't think this is break up worthy. I could be wrong about that. I'm not sure what to do from here. Do I wait and see if his behavior changes?

Well, if you stick around you had better meet her sooner rather than later. Btw, what is the context of why she chose her ex to call rather than someone closer to her?

[Anonymous]

He sounds like a good guy, open and honest.

[Anonymous]

Still sounds like he needs more boundaries with her. He broke up with her, she's still into him, and he's letting her hang around. There were many other people she could have called but she is still emotionally entangled with him, and he for whatever reason allows this. Maybe he likes it.

[Anonymous]

Leave him alone.

[Anonymous]

Is she hot?

[Anonymous]

This guy did this to me on a first date, where we met online. His ex called him crying about something while we were having coffee and dessert. He excused himself and went to the parking lot to handle the call. Stupidly, I went on another date with him.

I realized he is slightly autistic, maybe a high functioning one. Almost hard to detect, but you can tell something is a little off. He denied being autistic, but he displayed all the characteristics, and had those autistic eyes. I think the ex was taking advantage of him, as he said she asks him for money and help all the time. He didn't see the problem with that. Nice guy, but autism was not something I could handle, nor did I want autistic babies, so I bolted.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't have said where is was going. It's not your business. I would have said it was an emergency and I'll make it up to you. You can understand or not, I don't care. If you're the type of person who would break up over that then go ahead. When I'm done with an ex that's it. No hooking up, no real interaction. Depending on the breakup, I'll be civil and help out in an emergency, but only if I was the one who broke the relationship or it was mutual. If she's dumps me I erase the number immediately and move on because you have to.

In any case, I have friendships with a small number of my ex-GFs and it's friendship only. Once I close that book I put it back as I don't want to read it again.