How would you react if your date left to go help/comfort his ex?

[Anonymous]

Seeing how he treats his ex is a good indicator of how he would treat you. A man who enjoys his steak while a woman he recently loved is terrified and battered is not a man I'd want to spend time with. It's better that he went and maybe you break up with him than if he stayed and then posted all over SM what a great evening he had. The latter would be callous, almost sociopathic.

[Anonymous]

Wow you people are crazy.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't feel rejected. Someone who was getting physically beat up called him for help. Of course he should go help, geez.

With that being said, I wouldn't want to be a part of that whole scene, so I would peace out.

[Anonymous]

Not upset with him but I would be done.

People don't just randomly end up in abusive relationships. Something about it feels comfortable or familiar to them. So I would take that as a red flag that he was in some way shape or form abusive to her (and that she was in someway abused growing up).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We would both go so I know for a fact that's what happened.

What the hell? It's none of your business. Why would you insert yourself into a DV situation about which this woman would likely be very sensitive? Would you want strangers seeing you at your most vulnerable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So it just happened that, at the time you were together on a date, she reached out to this man to tell him about what happened to her?

Considering how many hours there are in a day, and how many days in a week, it's interesting that her need happened to coincide with the hours allocated for your date.

Agree but it's a brilliant move. At least 7 or 8 out of 10 are ending things because of it and he doesn't have to have the awkward "it's not you, it's me" conversation, he doesn't have to ghost someone, risking reputation and he doesn't piss off whatever friend set the date up. Brilliant!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We would both go so I know for a fact that's what happened.

Wow, you're not crazy controlling AT ALL.

[Anonymous]

Bye, Felicia. No time for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't feel rejected. Someone who was getting physically beat up called him for help. Of course he should go help, geez.

With that being said, I wouldn't want to be a part of that whole scene, so I would peace out.

She should be calling 911.

[Anonymous]

I don't think I could form an opinion based on this one incident. It could be that they're still emotionally entangled in an unhealthy way, but it also could be that she is a good friend in addition to being an ex-girlfriend, really was having a pretty significant crisis, and understandably was reaching out to a male she felt safe with at a time when she might have felt the need for extra physical protection. If it's the former, that's a problem that will become apparently before too long. If it's the latter, I think it would show good character that doesn't blow off a friend in crisis for a date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We would both go so I know for a fact that's what happened.

I don't know about this. Was this a first date?

I give him credit for helping his ex because that shows responsibility and maturity. So, that is a big plus. At the same time...if OP's relationship was starting to get serious, the guy should have taken her along and introduced her to the ex to make it very clear that he has moved on.

[Anonymous]

I would end it, because it suggests he doesn't have good boundaries, and I don't want to be with someone like that.

I'm sure he's a good person, but it's not a relationship I want to be in.

[Anonymous]

I think anyone who is telling you that what your date did is fine is the reason why so many women end up in bad relationships.

If you can't see this as a gigantic, flapping red flag then I don't know what to tell you. Well I know one thing: you already know the answer to your question and you seem to want to be talked out of it. You know this is trouble and yet instead of walking away thinking "nice guy, just not the best situation for me" you will only pay attention to the answers that say "what a great guy!"

Why don't you trust yourself? You know the answer. Listen to you.

[Anonymous]

I think domestic violence is right up there with the ex-gf's mom dying so I'd be understanding...to a point

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't feel rejected. Someone who was getting physically beat up called him for help. Of course he should go help, geez.

With that being said, I wouldn't want to be a part of that whole scene, so I would peace out.

She should be calling 911.

Who says she didn't? If I'd just been beaten up, I'd certainly call 911 and someone I loved.