Should DD be upset most of her friends went to beachhouse weekend of her open house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A beach week is something that the attendees will probably remember the rest of their lives. A few hours at an open house, not so much. If I were in your daughter's shoes I would have made lemonade out of lemons by cancelling the open house and going to the beach. It would be better than both missing out on the trip and being resentful that her friends didn't do the same.

I'm OP and I agree. I think she should have gone with friends and then driven back for the grad party for a few hours, then back to the beach. I only learned of all the friends being at the beach during the party, "Oh, lot of my friends aren't coming, they decided to go to the beach." She has her own car and we would have let her drive back and forth.

You want her to spend an entire day of beach house weekend, commuting back and forth from the DC area? Isn't this her milestone celebrate as she chooses?

Grad party was 1pm-5pm Saturday. So she kills 1 of 4 days of beach weekend driving. I think that's far better than missing out on entire beach weekend.

She has to leave the beach house at 10, drive for three hours to the party, attend the party from 1-5pm, then drive 3 hours back through beach traffic, arriving there around 8pm assuming no traffic jams. That doesn't sound like something I would want to do.

Yeah, but her alternative is to sit home and sulk, while her friends are off at the beach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A beach week is something that the attendees will probably remember the rest of their lives. A few hours at an open house, not so much. If I were in your daughter's shoes I would have made lemonade out of lemons by cancelling the open house and going to the beach. It would be better than both missing out on the trip and being resentful that her friends didn't do the same.

I'm OP and I agree. I think she should have gone with friends and then driven back for the grad party for a few hours, then back to the beach. I only learned of all the friends being at the beach during the party, "Oh, lot of my friends aren't coming, they decided to go to the beach." She has her own car and we would have let her drive back and forth.

You want her to spend an entire day of beach house weekend, commuting back and forth from the DC area? Isn't this her milestone celebrate as she chooses?

Grad party was 1pm-5pm Saturday. So she kills 1 of 4 days of beach weekend driving. I think that's far better than missing out on entire beach weekend.

She has to leave the beach house at 10, drive for three hours to the party, attend the party from 1-5pm, then drive 3 hours back through beach traffic, arriving there around 8pm assuming no traffic jams. That doesn't sound like something I would want to do.

Duh of course not bc you are old but at 18 I would have done this without a second thought. She is probably not willing to do it bc she is having an allergic or nothing attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha Ha this is DCUM at its finest. At the beginning of this thread everyone's bashing OP for getting involved in her kid's social life and telling her to butt out. By then end of the same thread, they are bashing OP because OP didn't learn about this until day of party when her DD told her (in other words, because OP wasn't involved in DD's social life). Classic

Nah. OP only mentioned late in the thread that her daughter didn't mention the kids going to the beach until it was too late to do anything different. I think most people have been sympathetic to all the teenagers in this situation, including OP's daughter. OP's only mistake, in my book, was holding a graduation party after kids have already started to decamp for the summer in various ways. An understandable mistake.

[Anonymous]

First, among my niece's, there are always several open house parties on any given weekend around graduation. Pp is absolutely right that they're more for the adults. The friends drop in here and there. I can understand why your dd would feel really awful about missing out. However, their opportunity to take advantage of this beach weekend shouldn't be less important than the graduation party. They had to make a choice.

What I don't understand is, why didn't your dd go to the beach house asap after her party? Wouldn't that have been the best way to deal with this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your teen DD owns a home? I think the general advice is to go away the weekend of your open house. Or is this college orientation? Why are you involved in this anyway? Sure, I'd be sad I was missing out if I was your DD but that's life.

12th grade graduation. The group of friends is really clean cut, too. Good clean fun.

What in the hell is 12th grade graduation. Do you mean high school graduation. And who cares if the kids are clean cut...you don't know how they act when they aren't around adults.
Also, your DD is probably over it by now. You need to move on.

God, some people are such complete assholes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now the competition for who plans the best beach house graduation getaway will begin...

We rented a nice ocean side beach house for my daughter's HS graduation. She invited 4 of her closest friends to stay at the house with her for what should have been a very fun 3 day weekend.

Her so called friends have now cancelled out on her and accepted another kid's invitation to stay for an entire week at a posh ocean front rental. They have invited her to come along but we have already shelled out good money for this house!

My daughter is absolutely devastated that she will be spending beach weekend all alone.....

Ouch!

Lol. That really isn't happening, just painting a picture as to how far this nonsense can go. There will ALWAYS be a better offer. Always. That is why it's nice for the KIDS to plan this stuff out together before hand simply because they day does not belong to any one of the kids.

Lol, great analogy.

I would have told my daughter to have fun with her friends & hit the road to that nice ocean side beach house for me & the hubby to relax & act like we were the teenagers again.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter sounds like a brat. If she was invited to the beach, she should have gone as long as soon as you let her. Of course her friends didn't stay for the boring party you hosted for your friends.

[Anonymous]

Social media sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did the kids know it was a graduation party? Maybe they thought it was some adult thing if your DD called it an Open House. You should have had her graduation party the day of graduation like everybody else. This is just weird. If you are looking for it to be somebody's fault then it is yours. I really think it's just a life thing and she needs to get over it.

Yes, they knew. They chose the impromptu Fri-Mon beach house weekend over attending her grad party.

Can you blame them? When you are 18, do you want to go to an "open house"? WTH is that even, just standing around drinking punch? Or go to the beach with your friends and swimming and having fun. I think it is unrealistic to expect a bunch of 18 year olds to prioritize a few hours of sitting around adult get in with boring conversation and nothing to do over a weekend at the beach. Maybe you should have rescheduled your party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A beach week is something that the attendees will probably remember the rest of their lives. A few hours at an open house, not so much. If I were in your daughter's shoes I would have made lemonade out of lemons by cancelling the open house and going to the beach. It would be better than both missing out on the trip and being resentful that her friends didn't do the same.

I'm OP and I agree. I think she should have gone with friends and then driven back for the grad party for a few hours, then back to the beach. I only learned of all the friends being at the beach during the party, "Oh, lot of my friends aren't coming, they decided to go to the beach." She has her own car and we would have let her drive back and forth.

You want her to spend an entire day of beach house weekend, commuting back and forth from the DC area? Isn't this her milestone celebrate as she chooses?

Grad party was 1pm-5pm Saturday. So she kills 1 of 4 days of beach weekend driving. I think that's far better than missing out on entire beach weekend.

She has to leave the beach house at 10, drive for three hours to the party, attend the party from 1-5pm, then drive 3 hours back through beach traffic, arriving there around 8pm assuming no traffic jams. That doesn't sound like something I would want to do.

Yeah, but her alternative is to sit home and sulk, while her friends are off at the beach.

O.k, the point is, it is not like she would just be missing out on a few hours of beach week. She would be missing out on an entire day and her friends might be out having fun somewhere when she did get back that night. It's a 3 day weekend - I assume they drive and get there on Friday, they have all day Saturday and then they have to leave and drive home on Sunday.

[Anonymous]

This is a good lesson for her. She's not the center of the world and most people are self absorbed if not actually outright selfish.

Meaning, if presented with two options, most people will choose the one most personally attractive to them without caring about the feelings or motives of others, even good friends. She needs to learn to not take this kind of thing personally. She'll probably have it down in 15 years or so

[Anonymous]

^Actually looks like they have Fri-Mon. So Op's daughter would drive and get to the beach house on Friday. She would leave Saturday morning to drive home for the party and she would get back around 8:00 on Sat night. She would then have a full day Sunday and she would return home on Monday.

That would be more doable because of the full day on Sunday. But Saturday would be one slog of a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did the kids know it was a graduation party? Maybe they thought it was some adult thing if your DD called it an Open House. You should have had her graduation party the day of graduation like everybody else. This is just weird. If you are looking for it to be somebody's fault then it is yours. I really think it's just a life thing and she needs to get over it.

Yes, they knew. They chose the impromptu Fri-Mon beach house weekend over attending her grad party.

OP, I'd probably choose that as well, over a party celebrating something that me and all my friends also just did. At 18 I wouldn't prioritize anyone's graduation party.

[Anonymous]

My friend's son had his Open House weekend before graduation. Than beach with his friends. Sorry for your DD, natural she would feel that way. Did you not know about beach plans or she couldn't go etc.? Oh well, such is life. She will be ok and hopefully have a fun weekend with her friends soon.

[Anonymous]

Op. Do you live around here? The terminology you use it just not familiar