Should DD be upset most of her friends went to beachhouse weekend of her open house?

[Anonymous]

I don't get why so many people in WASHINGTON, DC don't understand what an open house is and that one should ALWAYS respond to an invitation, regardless of the occasion.

[Anonymous]

For all the PPs who are getting hung up on the terminology: the type of open house OP is referring to is a graduation party. That's just what they call them in the Midwest. Some are casual, inexpensive get together while others are huge parties with catered food and live music. Most people have the parties at their home. There will be 3-4 weekends surrounding graduation when everyone has their open houses and the seniors usually hop from one to the next. No one has their open house on grad day. Most open houses are a mix of family and friends, classmates, friends from other schools/sports teams, etc. People just stop by, have a drink or some food, and hang out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did the kids know it was a graduation party? Maybe they thought it was some adult thing if your DD called it an Open House. You should have had her graduation party the day of graduation like everybody else. This is just weird. If you are looking for it to be somebody's fault then it is yours. I really think it's just a life thing and she needs to get over it.

Yes, they knew. They chose the impromptu Fri-Mon beach house weekend over attending her grad party.

I don't blame them. It was their weekend to celebrate, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A beach week is something that the attendees will probably remember the rest of their lives. A few hours at an open house, not so much. If I were in your daughter's shoes I would have made lemonade out of lemons by cancelling the open house and going to the beach. It would be better than both missing out on the trip and being resentful that her friends didn't do the same.

You would tell grandparent, aunts and uncles you decided to go to the beach instead?

Why wasn't the party during the graduation? Why would family travel weeks later for a party and not witness the ceremony? The whole thing is just weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A beach week is something that the attendees will probably remember the rest of their lives. A few hours at an open house, not so much. If I were in your daughter's shoes I would have made lemonade out of lemons by cancelling the open house and going to the beach. It would be better than both missing out on the trip and being resentful that her friends didn't do the same.

You would tell grandparent, aunts and uncles you decided to go to the beach instead?

Why wasn't the party during the graduation? Why would family travel weeks later for a party and not witness the ceremony? The whole thing is just weird.

Is this not a thing where you're from? It's totally normal and expected, not weird at all. It would be really obnoxious to expect these people to actually come to the graduation ceremony. Unless very close with the graduate, most people don't want to sit through a class of 400-500 kids graduating. (Yeah, there are exceptions). I would not cancel the open house, but I would have encouraged the graduate to go to the beach directly after the party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For all the PPs who are getting hung up on the terminology: the type of open house OP is referring to is a graduation party. That's just what they call them in the Midwest. Some are casual, inexpensive get together while others are huge parties with catered food and live music. Most people have the parties at their home. There will be 3-4 weekends surrounding graduation when everyone has their open houses and the seniors usually hop from one to the next. No one has their open house on grad day. Most open houses are a mix of family and friends, classmates, friends from other schools/sports teams, etc. People just stop by, have a drink or some food, and hang out.

Is this a new thing? I grew up in Ohio and have never heard of it. Two do my classmates had graduation parties, but they were right after the actual graduation and mostly for family. Several cousins have graduated HS recently in the Midwest and I have not heard about this, even though we received invitations to the actual graduation.

In any case, even if this is typical for OP's crowd, obviously the kids would have much more fun at a beach weekend. Especially if it's one of their last days together. It sucks for OP, but a couple hours chatting with her aunts and uncles vs a weekend at the beach...no contest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your teen DD owns a home? I think the general advice is to go away the weekend of your open house. Or is this college orientation? Why are you involved in this anyway? Sure, I'd be sad I was missing out if I was your DD but that's life.

12th grade graduation. The group of friends is really clean cut, too. Good clean fun.

What does this have to do with anything?

that's the first type of girls ready to get stretched out on the first night of beach week

Playing guitar and sipping half a can of Coors Light? Rowdy stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why so many people in WASHINGTON, DC don't understand what an open house is and that one should ALWAYS respond to an invitation, regardless of the occasion.

An open house in the D.C. Area most commonly refers to showing a house that is for sale. I get what ypu are talking about. Those ridiculous parties that expect everyone to plan thier day around to come and go for 5 minutes. It is a ridiculous concept. If you cannot afford a real party, then cut the guest list or do not have a party. But surely you can understand why people do not rsvp for a drop by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why so many people in WASHINGTON, DC don't understand what an open house is and that one should ALWAYS respond to an invitation, regardless of the occasion.

An open house in the D.C. Area most commonly refers to showing a house that is for sale. I get what ypu are talking about. Those ridiculous parties that expect everyone to plan thier day around to come and go for 5 minutes. It is a ridiculous concept. If you cannot afford a real party, then cut the guest list or do not have a party. But surely you can understand why people do not rsvp for a drop by.

It's meant to be less taxing on the guests. You fit the party into your day. You're not expected to spend hours there. And you stay for more than 5 minutes. And I'm not sure what cost has to do with it. The host still pays for food and drinks for X number of people whether it's an "open house" or "you must arrive at 7 and stay until 10" type party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all the PPs who are getting hung up on the terminology: the type of open house OP is referring to is a graduation party. That's just what they call them in the Midwest. Some are casual, inexpensive get together while others are huge parties with catered food and live music. Most people have the parties at their home. There will be 3-4 weekends surrounding graduation when everyone has their open houses and the seniors usually hop from one to the next. No one has their open house on grad day. Most open houses are a mix of family and friends, classmates, friends from other schools/sports teams, etc. People just stop by, have a drink or some food, and hang out.

Is this a new thing? I grew up in Ohio and have never heard of it. Two do my classmates had graduation parties, but they were right after the actual graduation and mostly for family. Several cousins have graduated HS recently in the Midwest and I have not heard about this, even though we received invitations to the actual graduation.

In any case, even if this is typical for OP's crowd, obviously the kids would have much more fun at a beach weekend. Especially if it's one of their last days together. It sucks for OP, but a couple hours chatting with her aunts and uncles vs a weekend at the beach...no contest.

From a small town in Ohio - everyone had one. I would have been upset too if my friends didn't show up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For all the PPs who are getting hung up on the terminology: the type of open house OP is referring to is a graduation party. That's just what they call them in the Midwest. Some are casual, inexpensive get together while others are huge parties with catered food and live music. Most people have the parties at their home. There will be 3-4 weekends surrounding graduation when everyone has their open houses and the seniors usually hop from one to the next. No one has their open house on grad day. Most open houses are a mix of family and friends, classmates, friends from other schools/sports teams, etc. People just stop by, have a drink or some food, and hang out.

Aha. That explains it.

Cue 'Dueling Banjoes'.