Should DD be upset most of her friends went to beachhouse weekend of her open house?

[Anonymous]

I am in the Midwest now, and all the kids have big open house graduation parties. It's standard these days. And all their friends come and hang out -- not just adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Graduation parties can be nice, but unless it's the party of the century with no parents in sight there is little chance that a group of seniors will choose that over a beach house. Maybe the closest of friends will forego the beach trip in the name of loyalty, but they probably won't be happy about it.

All my kids' friends went to Beach Week on Monday due to graduation parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was your daughter invited to the beachhouse?

Yes.

Then why is she upset? Sounds spoiled.

She had the option of cancelling the open house and going to the beach house. She chose to have her party w/o her best friends there.

I can see how neither choice was ideal but I can also see why the other girls chose an entire weekend at a beach house over her open house. An unexpected opportunity came up and they grabbed it. I probably would have done the same thing at their age TBH.

I hope your daughter can forgive them.

[Anonymous]

A weekend away at a beachhouse with a big group of close friends vs dropping in to an Open house of one friend.

I would pick the weekend away every time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I am in the Midwest now, and all the kids have big open house graduation parties. It's standard these days. And all their friends come and hang out -- not just adults.

How can ALL the kids possibly be having these big parties? Isn't it more accurate to say that most of these kids GO to these parties but only some of them actually host these parties..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am in the Midwest now, and all the kids have big open house graduation parties. It's standard these days. And all their friends come and hang out -- not just adults.

How can ALL the kids possibly be having these big parties? Isn't it more accurate to say that most of these kids GO to these parties but only some of them actually host these parties..

No. My son has 10 close friends so about 10 parties over 3 weekends. You don't invite the whole class. Some overlap but you try to make as many as you can, or you go to the one you said yes to 1st.

[Anonymous]

A beach week is something that the attendees will probably remember the rest of their lives. A few hours at an open house, not so much. If I were in your daughter's shoes I would have made lemonade out of lemons by cancelling the open house and going to the beach. It would be better than both missing out on the trip and being resentful that her friends didn't do the same.

[Anonymous]

The timing is just too bad, OP. I don't really think anyone is to blame; it's not realistic to expect teenagers to choose an adult party over a weekend at a beach house. Sorry that they weren't more thoughtful, though. It's tough because your daughter doesn't yet realize how much fun and how many new friends she is going to have in a few weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A beach week is something that the attendees will probably remember the rest of their lives. A few hours at an open house, not so much. If I were in your daughter's shoes I would have made lemonade out of lemons by cancelling the open house and going to the beach. It would be better than both missing out on the trip and being resentful that her friends didn't do the same.

You would tell grandparent, aunts and uncles you decided to go to the beach instead?

[Anonymous]

You've got to help her understand that it was a timing issue and nothing more, particularly since she was invited to the beach house as well. I feel for your daughter but agree with the above poster who said the harsh (but true) words "Its not all about you" Horrible lesson, but life. Poor kid.

[Anonymous]

All I can take away from this thread is who has all these weird customs? All seems so antiquated and bizarre. This has to be some kind of regional thing.

Yes, it wasn't particularly thoughtful for the friends to choose a beach weekend over a prior commitment, but the fun factor of one vs. the other is so divergent that even though you and your DD might feel bummed, you kind of have to get it. I would have cancelled this "party" so DD could go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All I can take away from this thread is who has all these weird customs? All seems so antiquated and bizarre. This has to be some kind of regional thing.

Yes, it wasn't particularly thoughtful for the friends to choose a beach weekend over a prior commitment, but the fun factor of one vs. the other is so divergent that even though you and your DD might feel bummed, you kind of have to get it. I would have cancelled this "party" so DD could go.

But the converse is also true... it's not all about you, you RSVP'd yes and you follow that commitment unless you are sick. You don't go with the "better offer". It's rude.

[Anonymous]

I would choose a beach house weekend over a graduation party every time.

Poor timing. But I can understand why she's upset.

[Anonymous]

I can see how her feelings would be hurt but it sounds like really bad timing, nothing malicious

[Anonymous]

What teenager wouldn't choose a beach house over an open house? OP, I'm sure you understand that.