Other parents commenting on my child's weight

[Anonymous]

OP, I am sure your feelings were hurt. However, your kid is going to hear a lot worse in the coming years if you don't get his weight under control. Take this as a wake up call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he's as skinny as you make out because something must have triggered those parents to be making those remarks? When he's swimming what are the aesthetic signals for obesity? I.e does he have a belly? Does he have chubby legs and face? Can he fit into the right clothes for his age? You say it's worse when he sits down - what do you mean by this? If you let us know this it will be much easier for us to give you our opinion. However if the doctor is not concerned I wouldn't get overly worked up about it![/quote
Is he wearing speedos as in speedos that look like underwear briefs (barely any inseam) or the brand speedos? Is he on a swim team? All the other boys are wearing jammers (look like bicycling shorts). I think needs bigger shorts. Look for "husky" size so 10H or 12H. Or buy him a bigger size and learn to sew.

Sort of like underwear briefs but they're quite old now so getting very tight on him. And husky sizes don't really fit very well on him, which relates to when I said he's an awkward size to buy for. And sewing is possible but I don't think I'd be good enough for it not to come un-done mid swim and that would be a disaster (although slightly funny).

Do you think that it might be the shorts that make him look so fat? If the shorts are very tight on him, it is sort of inevitable his belly is going to overlap them when he sits down as they will be pressing into him. What age are his shorts? I think new longer swimming trunks will help him look like he has less of a fat belly and hopefully bring yours and his self esteem up a bit.

Yes I completely agree the shorts are tight and that definitely brings out his belly more, but it is so hard to find trunks that fit ok. I think his swimming trunks are age 9 maybe but he has had them for such a long time they have almost definitely stretched as he's grown. And I also agree that longer swimming trunks would make him look skinnier but none of the longer ones are elasticcy so they are either too big and fall down or are ridiculously small and don't go or button up! If anyone knows any places that do long elastic or stretchy sort of trunks or trunks with an elasticcy waist that are long can you let me know? It's just now you've mentioned it I don't want him getting self conscious and worrying that his trunks 'disappear' when he takes a seat.

It's the speedos that are causing the fat comments. Please buy him husky swim trunks! Do kids wear rash guards for sun protection there? Get him a rash guard (swim shirt). Here us a link to an online store-Lands End- that has boys husky sizes. Get him 8H to 10H. The regular size 8 waist is 24 1/2 while the husky size waist is 27 1/2. He must be so uncomfortable swimming in speedos that are too tight.
http://www.landsend.com/products/boys-printed-swim-trunks/id_305502?sku_0=::2XQ

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he's as skinny as you make out because something must have triggered those parents to be making those remarks? When he's swimming what are the aesthetic signals for obesity? I.e does he have a belly? Does he have chubby legs and face? Can he fit into the right clothes for his age? You say it's worse when he sits down - what do you mean by this? If you let us know this it will be much easier for us to give you our opinion. However if the doctor is not concerned I wouldn't get overly worked up about it![/quote
Is he wearing speedos as in speedos that look like underwear briefs (barely any inseam) or the brand speedos? Is he on a swim team? All the other boys are wearing jammers (look like bicycling shorts). I think needs bigger shorts. Look for "husky" size so 10H or 12H. Or buy him a bigger size and learn to sew.

Sort of like underwear briefs but they're quite old now so getting very tight on him. And husky sizes don't really fit very well on him, which relates to when I said he's an awkward size to buy for. And sewing is possible but I don't think I'd be good enough for it not to come un-done mid swim and that would be a disaster (although slightly funny).

Do you think that it might be the shorts that make him look so fat? If the shorts are very tight on him, it is sort of inevitable his belly is going to overlap them when he sits down as they will be pressing into him. What age are his shorts? I think new longer swimming trunks will help him look like he has less of a fat belly and hopefully bring yours and his self esteem up a bit.

Yes I completely agree the shorts are tight and that definitely brings out his belly more, but it is so hard to find trunks that fit ok. I think his swimming trunks are age 9 maybe but he has had them for such a long time they have almost definitely stretched as he's grown. And I also agree that longer swimming trunks would make him look skinnier but none of the longer ones are elasticcy so they are either too big and fall down or are ridiculously small and don't go or button up! If anyone knows any places that do long elastic or stretchy sort of trunks or trunks with an elasticcy waist that are long can you let me know? It's just now you've mentioned it I don't want him getting self conscious and worrying that his trunks 'disappear' when he takes a seat.

It's the speedos that are causing the fat comments. Please buy him husky swim trunks! Do kids wear rash guards for sun protection there? Get him a rash guard (swim shirt). Here us a link to an online store-Lands End- that has boys husky sizes. Get him 8H to 10H. The regular size 8 waist is 24 1/2 while the husky size waist is 27 1/2. He must be so uncomfortable swimming in speedos that are too tight.
http://www.landsend.com/products/boys-printed-swim-trunks/id_305502?sku_0=::2XQ

[Anonymous]

OP, it would hurt anyone's feelings to hear disparaging comments about one's child, however, I find it very unusual that parents would be talking about another child, with the parent within earshot, so is there a chance you misheard?

HOWEVER, maybe the reason you misheard is that you are unconsciously concerned about this.

The 93% weight needs to be compared to his height percentile. For example, my DD (16 now) is in the 90% for height and the 80% for weight. Compared together (which is what the BMI attempts to do), she is perfectly proportioned (and a healthy BMI), but if I just looked at her weight percentile, I might think she is overweight. If your son's %s are inverted (i.e., higher weight percentile than height), there is a problem regardless of how much muscle your child has.

Boys DO store fat before a big growth spurt, but only really around the waist. You mentioned large legs, which is not normal for a growth spurt. My 14 year old DS looked "pudgy" around the waist (but no fat rolls) right before he grew 6 inches. His legs, rear and arms looked normal, he just had a belly before he grew. It didn't roll over his speedo, but he definitely had a little belly.

You need to follow the doctor's advice, but you should also take a close look at what you are feeding your children. You don't seem to actually want any of the advice presented, but much of it is good advice. Start by COOKING real food (not reheating processed food like fish sticks) and checking sugar content. This has NOTHING to do with weight and everything to do with developing positive eating habits and a lifelong healthy lifestyle. All of my kids are competitive swimmers and I have to watch out that they don't binge after a particularly hard practice. They come home so hungry that I have to be very diligent about them not eating something out of a box and feeding them real food as soon as I can get it on the table (though my children do splurge with real ice cream).

Forget what those parents said and evaluate your own life. Certainly you have kind, active and healthy boys, but if you can help them develop healthy eating habits now, this will last a lifetime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it would hurt anyone's feelings to hear disparaging comments about one's child, however, I find it very unusual that parents would be talking about another child, with the parent within earshot, so is there a chance you misheard?

HOWEVER, maybe the reason you misheard is that you are unconsciously concerned about this.

The 93% weight needs to be compared to his height percentile. For example, my DD (16 now) is in the 90% for height and the 80% for weight. Compared together (which is what the BMI attempts to do), she is perfectly proportioned (and a healthy BMI), but if I just looked at her weight percentile, I might think she is overweight. If your son's %s are inverted (i.e., higher weight percentile than height), there is a problem regardless of how much muscle your child has.

Boys DO store fat before a big growth spurt, but only really around the waist. You mentioned large legs, which is not normal for a growth spurt. My 14 year old DS looked "pudgy" around the waist (but no fat rolls) right before he grew 6 inches. His legs, rear and arms looked normal, he just had a belly before he grew. It didn't roll over his speedo, but he definitely had a little belly.

You need to follow the doctor's advice, but you should also take a close look at what you are feeding your children. You don't seem to actually want any of the advice presented, but much of it is good advice. Start by COOKING real food (not reheating processed food like fish sticks) and checking sugar content. This has NOTHING to do with weight and everything to do with developing positive eating habits and a lifelong healthy lifestyle. All of my kids are competitive swimmers and I have to watch out that they don't binge after a particularly hard practice. They come home so hungry that I have to be very diligent about them not eating something out of a box and feeding them real food as soon as I can get it on the table (though my children do splurge with real ice cream).

Forget what those parents said and evaluate your own life. Certainly you have kind, active and healthy boys, but if you can help them develop healthy eating habits now, this will last a lifetime.

93% is OP's son's BMI percentile, not his weight percentile.

[Anonymous]

Your son is 1lb away from being obese. As hard as it is to hear someone say your child is fat, use it as a wake up call instead, and instill healthy eating habits and regular daily exercise now. It's only going to get worse in the future.

[Anonymous]

Your son is 1lb away from being obese. As hard as it is to hear someone say your child is fat, use it as a wake up call instead, and instill healthy eating habits and regular daily exercise now. It's only going to get worse in the future.

[Anonymous]

Our doctor sat us down and told us (parents, not our daughter) that her BMI was too high and it was *way* less than your son's. She looked soft and pudgy, but not fat. We took her talk to heart and made major changes. We said nothing to our daughter at all. I made herculean efforts to start cooking and eating at home, packing lunches, no soda, and lots more exercise. I, of course, haven't lost a pound, but at the next well visit, her doctor was thrilled with her super healthy BMI.

It was mean of other parents to talk about your son, but treat it as a wake up call. Our doctor wasn't mean, just very direct. I am thankful for the wakeup call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your sons sounds obese. And if not by complete medical range, which I read is 95% and above, 2% is not really any of the difference there. By world wide accepted rules optimal BMI is around 25th percentile. anything above represents not optimal weight for the person's height. Maybe this is a wake up call you need to take better care of your kids.

Think you're missing much of what I've said. Yes his BMI is higher than average and yes he has a chubby belly, but I have taken medical advice from a doctor about my son who seems a lot less concerned than you are. It's important to remember weight is not always fat and muscle weights more than fat, and he's a strong kid. Nevertheless, his BMI will be ever changing as he's at the peak of his growing stage, and AS THE DOCTORE SAID, it is likely he is strong fat for a growth spurt. And just to clear up the last comment, my other son the 10 y/o is fit and healthy yet still appears overweight on the scale. I am taking fine care of my kids and if it's such as massive issue why did the doctor seem so relaxed?

OP, you sound super defensive. Totally get it, but 93% does seem high. You doc might not have made a big deal in the office if he was with you so your son wouldn't get a complex over the situation.

My son bounces around the 85% BMI range. Until his doc mentioned that he's close to the overweight BMI scale did I really start to take notice. Probably like your son, he's very athletic (in 3 sports) he's very strong, but also got a nice layer of padding around him. Depending on angle, he can bring that double chin. His padding is well distributed and as someone who lives with him and sees him everyday, I honestly thought nothing of it. at 84% about 9 months ago, he's 7, I started to just watch the type of stuff he was eating. Talking more about portion size etc. His daddy was a bit chubby as a kid, but evened out at 5'10" and 150lbs between college and 15 years after that, so I do believe eventually genetics should take hold. However, there's nothing wrong with re-evaluating and making sure they're making good choices 70% of the time.