Other parents commenting on my child's weight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For starters, let go of what you overheard. If they said it directly to you, that would be different, but you were eavesdropping and one of the consequences of that is that you will likely hear things you don't like.

As for your son, what did the doctor say, specifically, about his weight? If your doctor is not concerned, then I would not be concerned, but you could mention it to the doctor and see what he says. You mentioned that portion sizes were an issue for your other child. What does a typical meal look like for your family?

Yes but I could really help but overhear, especially when they are talking about my DS. And the doctor reckoned he was storing fat for a growth spurt but told me to keep a close eye on it. Finally, a typical meal for him would be fish fingers, pasta with dolmio sauce and broccoli - for pudding he may have a bar of chocolate or yogurt but nothing substantial. The 10 y/o is the same.

That's one meal, or examples of a couple of meals?

[Anonymous]

Your kid is fat.

Get over it or do something about it.

Do you know how ridiculous you sound saying that your son is "only" in the 95th percentile for weight and he's still a few percentage points away from being obese?

[Anonymous]

That's a sensitive subject for sure however, his pediatrician advised you cut his portion size down which indicates he is at least overweight or getting there. Go out for more walks, play sports, eat healthier, smaller portions. There is plenty you can do without harming his self esteem, and yours.

[Anonymous]

Your sons sounds obese. And if not by complete medical range, which I read is 95% and above, 2% is not really any of the difference there. By world wide accepted rules optimal BMI is around 25th percentile. anything above represents not optimal weight for the person's height. Maybe this is a wake up call you need to take better care of your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is a bigger kid, and I've definitely heard comments about it. There's not much we can do about it that we're not already doing so I don't put much thought into it. I'm normal weight but muscular so I'm at the top of the normal BMI range. My daughter's dad is very muscular and big-boned, so he's up there too. (Think 5'11" and 210.) But we're both healthy, active people. Our daughter weighs 70 lbs at age 8 and has a belly, but her legs and arms are thin and she's very active. She was 90th %ile at birth and is still pretty high up there, but the doctor says she's fine.

Try not to worry about what other people say. It's possible they weren't even talking about him. (and if they said something within earshot, that's rude.)

Thank you - it sounds like we are in similar circumstances - this was reassuring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he's as skinny as you make out because something must have triggered those parents to be making those remarks? When he's swimming what are the aesthetic signals for obesity? I.e does he have a belly? Does he have chubby legs and face? Can he fit into the right clothes for his age? You say it's worse when he sits down - what do you mean by this? If you let us know this it will be much easier for us to give you our opinion. However if the doctor is not concerned I wouldn't get overly worked up about it!

Yes as I have mentioned he does have a fat belly, but the doctor said it was common for fat in men to build up around the belly more than anywhere else. His legs are bigger but proportionate to his size. This is the same with his face. And when he sits down you can see his belly fat much clearer because it all kind of clumps together and it comes over the top of his speedo trunks and sort of covers them a bit. And yes it is difficult to buy clothes because he is such an awkward size. For instance the speedo trunks are the only ones he can comfortably fit into that are a reasonable length (although for speedos they're pretty much all the same). School clothes are similar because he had a slightly bigger waist.

It doesn't matter where the fat is, it's still fat. It's not common for men at a healthy weight to have belly fat. Either your doctor was just trying to avoid the real conversation or you're just hearing the parts that you want to hear.

Swimming once or twice a week isn't enough. Kids need an hour of daily exercise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For starters, let go of what you overheard. If they said it directly to you, that would be different, but you were eavesdropping and one of the consequences of that is that you will likely hear things you don't like.

As for your son, what did the doctor say, specifically, about his weight? If your doctor is not concerned, then I would not be concerned, but you could mention it to the doctor and see what he says. You mentioned that portion sizes were an issue for your other child. What does a typical meal look like for your family?

Yes but I could really help but overhear, especially when they are talking about my DS. And the doctor reckoned he was storing fat for a growth spurt but told me to keep a close eye on it. Finally, a typical meal for him would be fish fingers, pasta with dolmio sauce and broccoli - for pudding he may have a bar of chocolate or yogurt but nothing substantial. The 10 y/o is the same.

Fish fingers fried, unhealthy, you didn't say fish fillets, that would be different. Pasta, I assume white and even whole wheat, full of sugar and empty calories. Yogurt, only go for Greek full fat no sugar added, not easy to find, all other yogurts are nothing but sugar. dolmio sauce, even their own company recommends you not eat it more than once a week due to high sugar, salt and fat content. Pudding, well, sugar. Yay, for broccoli. You need to watch up how to eat and food industry documentaries asap on Netflix. Unless you are a troll who is trying to make fan of weight obsessed DCUM, then stop posting.

[Anonymous]

Doctors are generally reluctant to mention weight to parents, so if your doctor said anything at all about his weight, it's an indication that it is absolutely a health issue. They'll generally soft peddle, so take what he said, and realize that the truth is even more severe.

What you listed was a *lot* of food for an 8 year old, and not especially healthy (assuming the "fish fingers" you mean fried fish sticks)

My 8 year old would have fish *or* pasta. And we very rarely eat desert, certainly not every day.

OP, find a good dietician and make an appointment with her to just get some real solid facts and education. From there, you'll have the info you need to know if it's a real problem or if you're on a healthy track.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For starters, let go of what you overheard. If they said it directly to you, that would be different, but you were eavesdropping and one of the consequences of that is that you will likely hear things you don't like.

As for your son, what did the doctor say, specifically, about his weight? If your doctor is not concerned, then I would not be concerned, but you could mention it to the doctor and see what he says. You mentioned that portion sizes were an issue for your other child. What does a typical meal look like for your family?

Yes but I could really help but overhear, especially when they are talking about my DS. And the doctor reckoned he was storing fat for a growth spurt but told me to keep a close eye on it. Finally, a typical meal for him would be fish fingers, pasta with dolmio sauce and broccoli - for pudding he may have a bar of chocolate or yogurt but nothing substantial. The 10 y/o is the same.

Fish fingers fried, unhealthy, you didn't say fish fillets, that would be different. Pasta, I assume white and even whole wheat, full of sugar and empty calories. Yogurt, only go for Greek full fat no sugar added, not easy to find, all other yogurts are nothing but sugar. dolmio sauce, even their own company recommends you not eat it more than once a week due to high sugar, salt and fat content. Pudding, well, sugar. Yay, for broccoli. You need to watch up how to eat and food industry documentaries asap on Netflix. Unless you are a troll who is trying to make fan of weight obsessed DCUM, then stop posting.

By pudding she means dessert.

OP, keep feeding them the same general things, but make it healthier. No breaded fish- just bake some actually fillets. Whole wheat pasta (as PP said). And for dessert, no chocolate bars. Go with fruit & yogurt (as you said).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your sons sounds obese. And if not by complete medical range, which I read is 95% and above, 2% is not really any of the difference there. By world wide accepted rules optimal BMI is around 25th percentile. anything above represents not optimal weight for the person's height. Maybe this is a wake up call you need to take better care of your kids.

Think you're missing much of what I've said. Yes his BMI is higher than average and yes he has a chubby belly, but I have taken medical advice from a doctor about my son who seems a lot less concerned than you are. It's important to remember weight is not always fat and muscle weights more than fat, and he's a strong kid. Nevertheless, his BMI will be ever changing as he's at the peak of his growing stage, and AS THE DOCTORE SAID, it is likely he is strong fat for a growth spurt. And just to clear up the last comment, my other son the 10 y/o is fit and healthy yet still appears overweight on the scale. I am taking fine care of my kids and if it's such as massive issue why did the doctor seem so relaxed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid is fat.

Get over it or do something about it.

Do you know how ridiculous you sound saying that your son is "only" in the 95th percentile for weight and he's still a few percentage points away from being obese?

Can you quote where I ever said he was "only" in the 93rd percentile? Because I'm not sure I actually did and if I did I didn't mean it like that. I am fully aware that 95 means he's obese, but after the doctors and just seeing my son in general, he does not look obese!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he's as skinny as you make out because something must have triggered those parents to be making those remarks? When he's swimming what are the aesthetic signals for obesity? I.e does he have a belly? Does he have chubby legs and face? Can he fit into the right clothes for his age? You say it's worse when he sits down - what do you mean by this? If you let us know this it will be much easier for us to give you our opinion. However if the doctor is not concerned I wouldn't get overly worked up about it!

Yes as I have mentioned he does have a fat belly, but the doctor said it was common for fat in men to build up around the belly more than anywhere else. His legs are bigger but proportionate to his size. This is the same with his face. And when he sits down you can see his belly fat much clearer because it all kind of clumps together and it comes over the top of his speedo trunks and sort of covers them a bit. And yes it is difficult to buy clothes because he is such an awkward size. For instance the speedo trunks are the only ones he can comfortably fit into that are a reasonable length (although for speedos they're pretty much all the same). School clothes are similar because he had a slightly bigger waist.

It doesn't matter where the fat is, it's still fat. It's not common for men at a healthy weight to have belly fat. Either your doctor was just trying to avoid the real conversation or you're just hearing the parts that you want to hear.

Swimming once or twice a week isn't enough. Kids need an hour of daily exercise.

I would add that in my experience of seeing boys that age (I have one), it's not common at all to see belly fat. Most of them are skinny rails. More so than the girls. I have heard of girls right before puberty putting on some extra weight, but an 8 year old boy?

[Anonymous]

Op, I always tell my kids to not worry about what other people think about them. You should do the same. Who cares what these people said about your child? It was rude of them to bring it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid is fat.

Get over it or do something about it.

Do you know how ridiculous you sound saying that your son is "only" in the 95th percentile for weight and he's still a few percentage points away from being obese?

Can you quote where I ever said he was "only" in the 93rd percentile? Because I'm not sure I actually did and if I did I didn't mean it like that. I am fully aware that 95 means he's obese, but after the doctors and just seeing my son in general, he does not look obese!

OP, I think many people on this thread really want to help. I would gently point out that you describe him as having a belly that folds over his swim trunks when he sits. On a little boy, that is something I would notice as unusual. I don't know if I would think he looks obese, but that is not typical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I always tell my kids to not worry about what other people think about them. You should do the same. Who cares what these people said about your child? It was rude of them to bring it up.

1. They didn't bring it up. She overheard them talking.
2. I don't think the issue is whether or not the OP feels bad about someone calling her kid obese. I agree, who cares about that. The issue is whether she needs to be doing something more for a kid with a weight problem.