Other parents commenting on my child's weight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For starters, let go of what you overheard. If they said it directly to you, that would be different, but you were eavesdropping and one of the consequences of that is that you will likely hear things you don't like.

As for your son, what did the doctor say, specifically, about his weight? If your doctor is not concerned, then I would not be concerned, but you could mention it to the doctor and see what he says. You mentioned that portion sizes were an issue for your other child. What does a typical meal look like for your family?

Yes but I could really help but overhear, especially when they are talking about my DS. And the doctor reckoned he was storing fat for a growth spurt but told me to keep a close eye on it. Finally, a typical meal for him would be fish fingers, pasta with dolmio sauce and broccoli - for pudding he may have a bar of chocolate or yogurt but nothing substantial. The 10 y/o is the same.

That's one meal, or examples of a couple of meals?

So us the belly a recent thing? If so, it could be that he will stretch out with his next growth spurt. Does he seem hungrier than usual lately too?
I would definitely consult with his doctor to put your mind at ease.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For starters, let go of what you overheard. If they said it directly to you, that would be different, but you were eavesdropping and one of the consequences of that is that you will likely hear things you don't like.

As for your son, what did the doctor say, specifically, about his weight? If your doctor is not concerned, then I would not be concerned, but you could mention it to the doctor and see what he says. You mentioned that portion sizes were an issue for your other child. What does a typical meal look like for your family?

Yes but I could really help but overhear, especially when they are talking about my DS. And the doctor reckoned he was storing fat for a growth spurt but told me to keep a close eye on it. Finally, a typical meal for him would be fish fingers, pasta with dolmio sauce and broccoli - for pudding he may have a bar of chocolate or yogurt but nothing substantial. The 10 y/o is the same.

That's one meal, or examples of a couple of meals?

So us the belly a recent thing? If so, it could be that he will stretch out with his next growth spurt. Does he seem hungrier than usual lately too?
I would definitely consult with his doctor to put your mind at ease.

Not very recent no - he has had a belly for a while but it was never as noticeable as it has been recently. For example buying clothes was never really a problem; now things like shirts are are to get to fit around the waist etc and the same with bottoms. He may be eating more but he has not been noticeably hungrier in my eyes but I wouldn't rule the growth spurt out. Lots of children apparently have a chunky stage and then grow it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your sons sounds obese. And if not by complete medical range, which I read is 95% and above, 2% is not really any of the difference there. By world wide accepted rules optimal BMI is around 25th percentile. anything above represents not optimal weight for the person's height. Maybe this is a wake up call you need to take better care of your kids.

Think you're missing much of what I've said. Yes his BMI is higher than average and yes he has a chubby belly, but I have taken medical advice from a doctor about my son who seems a lot less concerned than you are. It's important to remember weight is not always fat and muscle weights more than fat, and he's a strong kid. Nevertheless, his BMI will be ever changing as he's at the peak of his growing stage, and AS THE DOCTORE SAID, it is likely he is strong fat for a growth spurt. And just to clear up the last comment, my other son the 10 y/o is fit and healthy yet still appears overweight on the scale. I am taking fine care of my kids and if it's such as massive issue why did the doctor seem so relaxed?

I am only trying to give some perspective. Doctors see many overweight people, and many are resigned that there is little parents can/want to do. I would go see a nutritionist, ask for referral if needed, or go on your own if your insurance doesn't ask for specialist referrals. For a nutritionist you don't even have to pay copay. That is a lot of storing fat for a growth spurt. If you are so sure it is just mean parents, post your boy's weight and height. It is a better tool for determining if somebody is overweight.

[Anonymous]

OP do you live in England or are you just English living in DC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two sons, one is 8 and one is 10. Both are into excercise, particularly swimming each week and I feed them well. However recently I have noticed other parents commenting or remarking on the size of my 8 y/o DS whilst he's in the swimming lesson. Although I would say he is larger than average I overheard a couple of the other parents chatting and am 90% sure they called my son obese. I was upset and offended by such comments because in my view it's really none of their business, and in my eyes - he's not fat! His BMI when measured at the doctors was quite high (93rd percentile) which is overweight but my 10 year old son is also classed as "overweight" and he hasn't got an inch of fat on him, and the doctor only really mentioned to possibly reduce portion sizes - so not really sure whether I trust the BMI rating that much! My 8 y/o seems happy and healthy, eats and exercises well, and I have control over their food and portions. Nevertheless what the parents were dating has really got to me and I just wanted to get some other opinions on the matter? Is my son obese? Are there any signs to look out for? How can I tell if he actually is obese? Because in my view he is getting enough excercise and eating right.

Op you've come to the wrong place. You will be answered by people with the same mindset as the ignorant women who made the comment that upset you to begin with. If you're concerned about your son (and not with what these judgmental people think) then see what his doctor has to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two sons, one is 8 and one is 10. Both are into excercise, particularly swimming each week and I feed them well. However recently I have noticed other parents commenting or remarking on the size of my 8 y/o DS whilst he's in the swimming lesson. Although I would say he is larger than average I overheard a couple of the other parents chatting and am 90% sure they called my son obese. I was upset and offended by such comments because in my view it's really none of their business, and in my eyes - he's not fat! His BMI when measured at the doctors was quite high (93rd percentile) which is overweight but my 10 year old son is also classed as "overweight" and he hasn't got an inch of fat on him, and the doctor only really mentioned to possibly reduce portion sizes - so not really sure whether I trust the BMI rating that much! My 8 y/o seems happy and healthy, eats and exercises well, and I have control over their food and portions. Nevertheless what the parents were dating has really got to me and I just wanted to get some other opinions on the matter? Is my son obese? Are there any signs to look out for? How can I tell if he actually is obese? Because in my view he is getting enough excercise and eating right.

Op you've come to the wrong place. You will be answered by people with the same mindset as the ignorant women who made the comment that upset you to begin with. If you're concerned about your son (and not with what these judgmental people think) then see what his doctor has to say.

To be honest many of the comment have actually been very supportive and helpful - and I'm not sure if you saw but I have recently taken him to the doctors; the aim of this post was to gather a few opinions because I wasn't so sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP do you live in England or are you just English living in DC?

I live in England, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he's as skinny as you make out because something must have triggered those parents to be making those remarks? When he's swimming what are the aesthetic signals for obesity? I.e does he have a belly? Does he have chubby legs and face? Can he fit into the right clothes for his age? You say it's worse when he sits down - what do you mean by this? If you let us know this it will be much easier for us to give you our opinion. However if the doctor is not concerned I wouldn't get overly worked up about it!

Yes as I have mentioned he does have a fat belly, but the doctor said it was common for fat in men to build up around the belly more than anywhere else. His legs are bigger but proportionate to his size. This is the same with his face. And when he sits down you can see his belly fat much clearer because it all kind of clumps together and it comes over the top of his speedo trunks and sort of covers them a bit. And yes it is difficult to buy clothes because he is such an awkward size. For instance the speedo trunks are the only ones he can comfortably fit into that are a reasonable length (although for speedos they're pretty much all the same). School clothes are similar because he had a slightly bigger waist.

Is he wearing speedos as in speedos that look like underwear briefs (barely any inseam) or the brand speedos? Is he on a swim team? All the other boys are wearing jammers (look like bicycling shorts). I think needs bigger shorts. Look for "husky" size so 10H or 12H. Or buy him a bigger size and learn to sew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your sons sounds obese. And if not by complete medical range, which I read is 95% and above, 2% is not really any of the difference there. By world wide accepted rules optimal BMI is around 25th percentile. anything above represents not optimal weight for the person's height. Maybe this is a wake up call you need to take better care of your kids.

Think you're missing much of what I've said. Yes his BMI is higher than average and yes he has a chubby belly, but I have taken medical advice from a doctor about my son who seems a lot less concerned than you are. It's important to remember weight is not always fat and muscle weights more than fat, and he's a strong kid. Nevertheless, his BMI will be ever changing as he's at the peak of his growing stage, and AS THE DOCTORE SAID, it is likely he is strong fat for a growth spurt. And just to clear up the last comment, my other son the 10 y/o is fit and healthy yet still appears overweight on the scale. I am taking fine care of my kids and if it's such as massive issue why did the doctor seem so relaxed?

I am only trying to give some perspective. Doctors see many overweight people, and many are resigned that there is little parents can/want to do. I would go see a nutritionist, ask for referral if needed, or go on your own if your insurance doesn't ask for specialist referrals. For a nutritionist you don't even have to pay copay. That is a lot of storing fat for a growth spurt. If you are so sure it is just mean parents, post your boy's weight and height. It is a better tool for determining if somebody is overweight.

He is 4"3 and weighs about 75 pounds. I haven't measured his waist for ages but judging by his trousers size I believe it to be around 26-28 inches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he's as skinny as you make out because something must have triggered those parents to be making those remarks? When he's swimming what are the aesthetic signals for obesity? I.e does he have a belly? Does he have chubby legs and face? Can he fit into the right clothes for his age? You say it's worse when he sits down - what do you mean by this? If you let us know this it will be much easier for us to give you our opinion. However if the doctor is not concerned I wouldn't get overly worked up about it!

Yes as I have mentioned he does have a fat belly, but the doctor said it was common for fat in men to build up around the belly more than anywhere else. His legs are bigger but proportionate to his size. This is the same with his face. And when he sits down you can see his belly fat much clearer because it all kind of clumps together and it comes over the top of his speedo trunks and sort of covers them a bit. And yes it is difficult to buy clothes because he is such an awkward size. For instance the speedo trunks are the only ones he can comfortably fit into that are a reasonable length (although for speedos they're pretty much all the same). School clothes are similar because he had a slightly bigger waist.

Is he wearing speedos as in speedos that look like underwear briefs (barely any inseam) or the brand speedos? Is he on a swim team? All the other boys are wearing jammers (look like bicycling shorts). I think needs bigger shorts. Look for "husky" size so 10H or 12H. Or buy him a bigger size and learn to sew.

Sort of like underwear briefs but they're quite old now so getting very tight on him. And husky sizes don't really fit very well on him, which relates to when I said he's an awkward size to buy for. And sewing is possible but I don't think I'd be good enough for it not to come un-done mid swim and that would be a disaster (although slightly funny).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do they do any other excercise other than swimming?

What an odd question. I could see asking the number of hours per week the children exercise but why would other types of exercising matter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do they do any other excercise other than swimming?

What an odd question. I could see asking the number of hours per week the children exercise but why would other types of exercising matter?

Because it's unlikely the child will go swimming everyday for an adequate amount of time.

[Anonymous]

OP based on your description your son is definitely fat. 93rd percentile plus belly fat rolls when he sits at 8 years old is not typical.

Please please help your son. Growing up obese he will be teased to no end and suffer psychological issues as a result. Accept the reality that he is likely obese and make an effort to encourage him to eat healthy and exercise. Nutrition is key. Pudding everyday is an obese habit.

Please take those comments as a wake up call.

[Anonymous]

Is he wearing speedos as in speedos that look like underwear briefs (barely any inseam) or the brand speedos? Is he on a swim team? All the other boys are wearing jammers (look like bicycling shorts). I think needs bigger shorts. Look for "husky" size so 10H or 12H. Or buy him a bigger size and learn to sew.

Sort of like underwear briefs but they're quite old now so getting very tight on him. And husky sizes don't really fit very well on him, which relates to when I said he's an awkward size to buy for. And sewing is possible but I don't think I'd be good enough for it not to come un-done mid swim and that would be a disaster (although slightly funny).

Do you think that it might be the shorts that make him look so fat? If the shorts are very tight on him, it is sort of inevitable his belly is going to overlap them when he sits down as they will be pressing into him. I think new longer swimming trunks will help him look like he has less of a fat belly and hopefully bring yours and his self esteem up a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your sons sounds obese. And if not by complete medical range, which I read is 95% and above, 2% is not really any of the difference there. By world wide accepted rules optimal BMI is around 25th percentile. anything above represents not optimal weight for the person's height. Maybe this is a wake up call you need to take better care of your kids.

Think you're missing much of what I've said. Yes his BMI is higher than average and yes he has a chubby belly, but I have taken medical advice from a doctor about my son who seems a lot less concerned than you are. It's important to remember weight is not always fat and muscle weights more than fat, and he's a strong kid. Nevertheless, his BMI will be ever changing as he's at the peak of his growing stage, and AS THE DOCTORE SAID, it is likely he is strong fat for a growth spurt. And just to clear up the last comment, my other son the 10 y/o is fit and healthy yet still appears overweight on the scale. I am taking fine care of my kids and if it's such as massive issue why did the doctor seem so relaxed?

I am only trying to give some perspective. Doctors see many overweight people, and many are resigned that there is little parents can/want to do. I would go see a nutritionist, ask for referral if needed, or go on your own if your insurance doesn't ask for specialist referrals. For a nutritionist you don't even have to pay copay. That is a lot of storing fat for a growth spurt. If you are so sure it is just mean parents, post your boy's weight and height. It is a better tool for determining if somebody is overweight.

He is 4"3 and weighs about 75 pounds. I haven't measured his waist for ages but judging by his trousers size I believe it to be around 26-28 inches.

http://www.calculator.net/ideal-weight-calculator.html?ctype=metric&cage=10&csex=m&cheightfeet=5&cheightinch=10&cheightmeter=137&printit=0&x=81&y=9[url]

I am the same pp you replied to. This is a website mostly for adults to calculate weight and height but you can input 10 years old as well. It seems that your 10 year old is on the higher end of acceptable weight for height range. Hence, he must carry most of this in his belly, if that is what you re noticing. If it is was my kid I would try to enforce healthy food and I think time will take care of it with growth spurts and muscle. Higher end weight at his age might seem like a big deal around here among the "worship skin and bones" population. When you put 93rd percentile BMI, I think that gave the impression of obese, even to me. BMI is a very poor and new tool. Given this information, keep your kids active, don't fall pray to high sugar diet and don't worry about your boys and let them see you making an issue of their weight. So, imo, he is far from obese, and those parents need to stop being rude. I am from Europe and it used to be that grandmas considered it healthy that kid had some extra weight, and might end up tall and healthy later on. As I tell my kids, who are actually slim for US standard, very slim, there is no way there will ever be tiny and slim boned like some kids from certain Asian countries, as genetics are genetics. Hope nobody is offended by this comment.