Other parents commenting on my child's weight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I always tell my kids to not worry about what other people think about them. You should do the same. Who cares what these people said about your child? It was rude of them to bring it up.

Thank you for your support. I completely agree and he is a very happy and energetic boy and I wouldn't want other people's comments to take that away from him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doctors are generally reluctant to mention weight to parents, so if your doctor said anything at all about his weight, it's an indication that it is absolutely a health issue. They'll generally soft peddle, so take what he said, and realize that the truth is even more severe.

What you listed was a *lot* of food for an 8 year old, and not especially healthy (assuming the "fish fingers" you mean fried fish sticks)

My 8 year old would have fish *or* pasta. And we very rarely eat desert, certainly not every day.

OP, find a good dietician and make an appointment with her to just get some real solid facts and education. From there, you'll have the info you need to know if it's a real problem or if you're on a healthy track.

Sorry OP, but I agree with this PP. Doctors are VERY gentile about suggesting that their patients are overweight. It's rare that they press on it until it becomes a problem because they don't want to offend the patient (or their parents.) At my well visit two years ago I was starting to push into the overweight territory myself, and my doctor also did not seem concerned. She just gently mentioned I could try adding more activity into my life. No biggie. Then I developed a bunch of minor health issues related to being overweight, which scared me and made me push myself into eating healthy and becoming fit.

I'm sorry that the other parents comments were hurtful, but take it as a wake up call. The fact that you have trouble finding clothes that fit, that he is only 2% from the obese range, and that your doctor mentioned cutting portion sizes all point to the need to do something about this. Don't take it personally. All kids have different metabolisms and what worked for your older kid might not work for your younger one. This doesn't make you a bad parent. It just indicates that he needs change in his diet or lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

No parents should comment about the appearance of other kids. for real. don't. and if you do, you're lame and rude.

op, brush it off. clearly, you're a little worried about it and so the comment definitely brushed you the wrong way. but other parents don't know you and don't know your kid.

try to be healthy yourself. feed your kids mostly healthy foods. be active as a family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No parents should comment about the appearance of other kids. for real. don't. and if you do, you're lame and rude.

op, brush it off. clearly, you're a little worried about it and so the comment definitely brushed you the wrong way. but other parents don't know you and don't know your kid.

try to be healthy yourself. feed your kids mostly healthy foods. be active as a family.

I agree with this, of course. However, other kids will start commenting to this child. That's just reality. I don't get the head in the sand attitude from the OP. Don't get all upset and offended on behalf of your son that someone had an admittedly inappropriate conversation that you overheard, do something to help him!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doctors are generally reluctant to mention weight to parents, so if your doctor said anything at all about his weight, it's an indication that it is absolutely a health issue. They'll generally soft peddle, so take what he said, and realize that the truth is even more severe.

What you listed was a *lot* of food for an 8 year old, and not especially healthy (assuming the "fish fingers" you mean fried fish sticks)

My 8 year old would have fish *or* pasta. And we very rarely eat desert, certainly not every day.

OP, find a good dietician and make an appointment with her to just get some real solid facts and education. From there, you'll have the info you need to know if it's a real problem or if you're on a healthy track.

Sorry OP, but I agree with this PP. Doctors are VERY gentile about suggesting that their patients are overweight. It's rare that they press on it until it becomes a problem because they don't want to offend the patient (or their parents.) At my well visit two years ago I was starting to push into the overweight territory myself, and my doctor also did not seem concerned. She just gently mentioned I could try adding more activity into my life. No biggie. Then I developed a bunch of minor health issues related to being overweight, which scared me and made me push myself into eating healthy and becoming fit.

I'm sorry that the other parents comments were hurtful, but take it as a wake up call. The fact that you have trouble finding clothes that fit, that he is only 2% from the obese range, and that your doctor mentioned cutting portion sizes all point to the need to do something about this. Don't take it personally. All kids have different metabolisms and what worked for your older kid might not work for your younger one. This doesn't make you a bad parent. It just indicates that he needs change in his diet or lifestyle.

Sounds to me you might be right and I appreciate your comment. It is important to note that I have to been taking action on what the doctor mentioned regarding portion sizes and excercise and am beginning to see results. I think the problem was that I was feeding my 8 y/o the same portion sizes as my 10 y/o he probably put on weight through that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For starters, let go of what you overheard. If they said it directly to you, that would be different, but you were eavesdropping and one of the consequences of that is that you will likely hear things you don't like.

As for your son, what did the doctor say, specifically, about his weight? If your doctor is not concerned, then I would not be concerned, but you could mention it to the doctor and see what he says. You mentioned that portion sizes were an issue for your other child. What does a typical meal look like for your family?

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doctors are generally reluctant to mention weight to parents, so if your doctor said anything at all about his weight, it's an indication that it is absolutely a health issue. They'll generally soft peddle, so take what he said, and realize that the truth is even more severe.

What you listed was a *lot* of food for an 8 year old, and not especially healthy (assuming the "fish fingers" you mean fried fish sticks)

My 8 year old would have fish *or* pasta. And we very rarely eat desert, certainly not every day.

OP, find a good dietician and make an appointment with her to just get some real solid facts and education. From there, you'll have the info you need to know if it's a real problem or if you're on a healthy track.

Sorry OP, but I agree with this PP. Doctors are VERY gentile about suggesting that their patients are overweight. It's rare that they press on it until it becomes a problem because they don't want to offend the patient (or their parents.) At my well visit two years ago I was starting to push into the overweight territory myself, and my doctor also did not seem concerned. She just gently mentioned I could try adding more activity into my life. No biggie. Then I developed a bunch of minor health issues related to being overweight, which scared me and made me push myself into eating healthy and becoming fit.

I'm sorry that the other parents comments were hurtful, but take it as a wake up call. The fact that you have trouble finding clothes that fit, that he is only 2% from the obese range, and that your doctor mentioned cutting portion sizes all point to the need to do something about this. Don't take it personally. All kids have different metabolisms and what worked for your older kid might not work for your younger one. This doesn't make you a bad parent. It just indicates that he needs change in his diet or lifestyle.

Sounds to me you might be right and I appreciate your comment. It is important to note that I have to been taking action on what the doctor mentioned regarding portion sizes and excercise and am beginning to see results. I think the problem was that I was feeding my 8 y/o the same portion sizes as my 10 y/o he probably put on weight through that.

Then good for you! Keep it up and don't let the comments get you or your son down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For starters, let go of what you overheard. If they said it directly to you, that would be different, but you were eavesdropping and one of the consequences of that is that you will likely hear things you don't like.

As for your son, what did the doctor say, specifically, about his weight? If your doctor is not concerned, then I would not be concerned, but you could mention it to the doctor and see what he says. You mentioned that portion sizes were an issue for your other child. What does a typical meal look like for your family?

This.

I totally disagree with this. it's so rude to make comments about any kid.

[Anonymous]

Does he have a gut and love handles or flab?

If so--overweight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he have a gut and love handles or flab?

If so--overweight.

Not so much love handles but the belly flab is there.

[Anonymous]

Processed fried fish, pasta and dessert is typical? Maybe try some roasted chicken and cut the desserts.

[Anonymous]

I'll start by saying I was a 'pudgy' kid myself. The short answer is - yes, if your child has a belly (had more than a couple months that could be just before a growth period) then in all honesty, yes, he is at least overweight if not obese. The distinction about the bubble between those is not that significant to worry about if he's on the border. Overall, just try to cut down a little on portions & less processed food & promote any forms of activity. It's not the business of other parents & it's mean and rude of them to comment - but it can happen. I would suggest focusing just on being healthy vs. current weight. And the goal with kids who may be a little over is to have them 'grow into' the weight they are at vs. do not try to get him to 'lose' weight - which starts a bad cycle... if you cut portions or unhealthier foods probably just a little, it should even out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll start by saying I was a 'pudgy' kid myself. The short answer is - yes, if your child has a belly (had more than a couple months that could be just before a growth period) then in all honesty, yes, he is at least overweight if not obese. The distinction about the bubble between those is not that significant to worry about if he's on the border. Overall, just try to cut down a little on portions & less processed food & promote any forms of activity. It's not the business of other parents & it's mean and rude of them to comment - but it can happen. I would suggest focusing just on being healthy vs. current weight. And the goal with kids who may be a little over is to have them 'grow into' the weight they are at vs. do not try to get him to 'lose' weight - which starts a bad cycle... if you cut portions or unhealthier foods probably just a little, it should even out.

Yes thank you, this is similar to what the doctor said; cutting portions should help even out the weight and that he just needs to grow into his weight and the belly will start disappearing. I am reluctant to admit it but looking back and thinking about his belly coming out when he sits and compared to all the other swimmers - there is a good chance he is obese, but that still doesn't explain why my other son has such a high BMI for such a fit young boy? My husband has a similar viewpoint. It's all a bit confusing for me really.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are majorly in denial. Your son is quite fat, and that should be worked on. You sound like you are enabling him.

[Anonymous]

I think it's clear that he is obese. Can you not see the signs? He's 93rd percentile, he's got chubby legs and face, not to mention the belly that folds over and "covers" his swim shorts, he can't fit into clothing his age and you were feeding him portion sizes for a child two years older, and not only this but as you say an athletic child who would probably eat more as it is. Does he do anything other than swimming? If not then not enough excercise is being done. This combined with you over feeding him has caused his obesity. It can be overcome however I think the doctor was too light on you. Your child is fat and will get fatter if you don't change your ways. Sorry to sound harsh but saying things like "he does not look obese" right after stating how his belly covers his swim shorts when he sits is a bit of a juxtaposition. Parent up and get this sorted asap