Have you found your soulmate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is an amazing man who contributes so much as a spouse and father. Is he perfect? No. Is he the kind of man I thought I would end up with? No. Do I periodically daydream about having someone who gets me on every level? Yes. That being said, I am content in my marriage and feel blessed to be growing my family with the man I'm married to. I might fantasize about finding the perfect man (sexually, mentally, emotionally), but I also know a good thing when I have it. I think it would be hard to find a man who satisfies my intellectual and physical needs 100% 24/7 and am not willing to give up what I have in hopes of finding that. I'm sure my husband would say the same thing, but we are imperfect together and have learned to appreciate what we have (which is pretty darn good, even if it leaves some things to be desired).

I think it will be impossible to find that PP. Sounds like you've got a great thing going with your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My soulmate is my best friend. She is my soul's perfect mate. And I am hers. Once we realized this gift in the friendship, it really helped with our respective marriages and the expectations there. For those of us fortunate enough to find their soul mate, you can feel like you are supposed to have that peace and alignment with only your spouse. But that just isn't true.

Congratulations. You are very lucky.

Not lucky enough if soulmate isn't your spouse.

Or perhaps luckier if it isn't. There is an argument for both sides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My soulmate is my best friend. She is my soul's perfect mate. And I am hers. Once we realized this gift in the friendship, it really helped with our respective marriages and the expectations there. For those of us fortunate enough to find their soul mate, you can feel like you are supposed to have that peace and alignment with only your spouse. But that just isn't true.

Congratulations. You are very lucky.

Not lucky enough if soulmate isn't your spouse.

Or perhaps luckier if it isn't. There is an argument for both sides.

NP. I don't understand why it would be luckier if it isn't your spouse? As for my answer, I have found my soulmate. Seven years of marriage and happier than ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely.

My soulmate is ... horses.

I've been in love a few times. Madly in love, once. I'm married. I like who I'm married to. Do I feel like our souls connect and we complete one another? No. in fact, I'm currently working very hard not to fall into an emotional affair with someone I'm working with on a big project and whom I've always found attractive and compelling. I'll manage not to cross the line because I'm not an idiot. I know that gorgeous feeling of a new emotional connection isn't what lasts for 20 or 50 years. My work friend is a better match than my husband if it were day one, but it's not. We're both married. And a better match doesn't mean I'd still be breathlessly besotted in a decade. Relationships are hard and I'm not the easiest person in the world to understand (I agree with the poster who said soulmates are complementarily broken; it's certainly true with my current longing).

However, I have a soul mate. My soul is at peace around horses. Always. There's no day around even a man I love that's as good as a day at the barn. Not even our wedding. It's been like this for me since I was eight years old. I've gone through phases in my life when I'm not riding and I become dissatisfied, pessimistic, and lost. When I'm riding regularly my life just works. My soul works. I become funnier, kinder, better at my job, a better spouse and parent.

Today the weather was so mild and the footing outdoors was decent, so I got in a lovely light workout with a hawk watching us from the fenceline. I had this moment where everything fell into place so beautifully and I found myself thinking I'm so lucky. Not everyone gets to have something they'll love for a lifetime.

But I do. And any man who wants me is going to deal with saddle pads in the washer dryer.

This post is helpful and positive to read. It's nice to know that someone in the world has found a peace and love that enriches their time here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do realize your soulmate is just a person who had a similarly messed up child hood and helps fulfill your "rescue scenario". That's the reason you feel you click. And yes I found my soulmate but now the real work continues for the rest of my life to try to keep the relationship in good working order.

Yes, I agree. I'm 10:27, and my partner and I, in spite of being such different personalities from different corners of the world, have bizarrely overlapping childhood trauma and damage that it took us years to begin to understand. The more we work on it, the more we understand, and the more we progress. It's hard work and very healing at the same time.

Also agree with the first post. For me the dual intensity was too much and it didn't work out. I'm now happily married without the insane spark and it's a much better relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My soulmate is my best friend. She is my soul's perfect mate. And I am hers. Once we realized this gift in the friendship, it really helped with our respective marriages and the expectations there. For those of us fortunate enough to find their soul mate, you can feel like you are supposed to have that peace and alignment with only your spouse. But that just isn't true.

Congratulations. You are very lucky.

Not lucky enough if soulmate isn't your spouse.

Or perhaps luckier if it isn't. There is an argument for both sides.

NP. I don't understand why it would be luckier if it isn't your spouse? As for my answer, I have found my soulmate. Seven years of marriage and happier than ever.

Maybe since they were lucky to have found their soulmates at all. A small time with is better than a lifetime without?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is an amazing man who contributes so much as a spouse and father. Is he perfect? No. Is he the kind of man I thought I would end up with? No. Do I periodically daydream about having someone who gets me on every level? Yes. That being said, I am content in my marriage and feel blessed to be growing my family with the man I'm married to. I might fantasize about finding the perfect man (sexually, mentally, emotionally), but I also know a good thing when I have it. I think it would be hard to find a man who satisfies my intellectual and physical needs 100% 24/7 and am not willing to give up what I have in hopes of finding that. I'm sure my husband would say the same thing, but we are imperfect together and have learned to appreciate what we have (which is pretty darn good, even if it leaves some things to be desired).

No one human being can satisfy another's needs for 20+ years. All relationships are a compromise.

[Anonymous]

My soulmate is in bed with me right now. Unfortunately my wife walked in on us this morning and I've spent the past couple of hours going back and forth trying to explain the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My soulmate is in bed with me right now. Unfortunately my wife walked in on us this morning and I've spent the past couple of hours going back and forth trying to explain the situation.

Lol

[Anonymous]

I don't know if I believe in a soulmate- it my husband is an amazing father, husband and provider. I feel so lucky to have found him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My soulmate is in bed with me right now. Unfortunately my wife walked in on us this morning and I've spent the past couple of hours going back and forth trying to explain the situation.

I love DCUM humor!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My soulmate is my best friend. She is my soul's perfect mate. And I am hers. Once we realized this gift in the friendship, it really helped with our respective marriages and the expectations there. For those of us fortunate enough to find their soul mate, you can feel like you are supposed to have that peace and alignment with only your spouse. But that just isn't true.

Congratulations. You are very lucky.

Not lucky enough if soulmate isn't your spouse.

Or perhaps luckier if it isn't. There is an argument for both sides.

NP. I don't understand why it would be luckier if it isn't your spouse? As for my answer, I have found my soulmate. Seven years of marriage and happier than ever.

Because if you love your spouse, and have an amazing marriage - that is a gift. There is NO relationship higher than that of a spouse. Soulmate or not. If they are your soulmate, that is great! But it is all wrapped up in one.

If you have a great spouse, and a soulmate that you can stay connected to, that is the same sex as you - it is a very different type of love. You would have to experience the dynamic to understand it. Neither are to be compared wtih the other. It's like the love of a spouse vs. parent vs. soulmate vs. God. There are many different types of love - it is a beautiful thing to experience them all in varied circumstances.

Either way, it is a win.