Have you found your soulmate?

[Anonymous]

I suppose DH is who I would consider my soulmate. Last night before we went to bed, he was thinking about optimism, pessimism, realism, etc...after he talked about it for a while, I asked what he thought he was, and he said he was an optimist, because no matter what things happen in the future, he knows I'll be there and we can handle it, just like we've always done.

I feel the same. It's been 15 years and I feel pretty unflappable when I'm with him.

[Anonymous]

That's sweet.

[Anonymous]

I've known several soulmates. Whatever place they have in your life, you're lucky to find them. My current partner and I met twenty-something years ago, and even though we're from different ends of the planet, totally different types of people, we instantly connected and were finishing each other's sentences. We've gone through both good and terrible times together, and keep pushing each other to evolve. We know and accept each other.

[Anonymous]

Dated him for a year in college and was devastated when he broke up with me. We somehow managed to remain close friends for the next 6 years or so. We were long distance for most of our friendship but stayed connected through phone calls and letters (yes I'm dating myself). He once called me while drunk (which was unusual for him) and followed up with a letter written that same night in which he asked what I would have said if he had asked me to marry him when we were on the phone. He went on to say how he had broken up with me because I was his first girlfriend and he was terrified of how strongly he felt about me. My heart wanted to jump on the next plane and marry him but I was dating a nice guy that I knew would never be able to hurt me the same way so to protect myself I just acted like the letter had never happened. Our friendship continued for a few more years then faded out when I started dating the guy who is now my ex-husband.
I found a bunch of letters from my old boyfriend when I was cleaning out my attic a few years ago. They still made my heart skip a beat and brought a tear to my eye. I'm sure I'm romanticizing the "one that got away" but can't help thinking what my life would have been like with him.

[Anonymous]

I know it sounds corny, but these soulful, human-to-human connections are the closest thing to religion to me. I don't associate with any formal religion, so maybe this fills the gap. From an analytical/biological standpoint, I know it's probably just our DNA helping us find a mate to procreate and perpetuate the species. But people have such a sense of "self", unlike other species seeking mates, that the choosing becomes a very reflective and conscious thing. Finding and recognizing a deeper, connection - that's different than all the other ones - is one of the greatest experiences life offers - and it only happens a few times in a lifetime, and that's if you're lucky. Savor every one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah but we'll probably get divorced this year, too bad so sad, and then the search for soulmate #2 begins.

I'm so very glad you were one of the first responses! This pretty much sums it up for me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dated him for a year in college and was devastated when he broke up with me. We somehow managed to remain close friends for the next 6 years or so. We were long distance for most of our friendship but stayed connected through phone calls and letters (yes I'm dating myself). He once called me while drunk (which was unusual for him) and followed up with a letter written that same night in which he asked what I would have said if he had asked me to marry him when we were on the phone. He went on to say how he had broken up with me because I was his first girlfriend and he was terrified of how strongly he felt about me. My heart wanted to jump on the next plane and marry him but I was dating a nice guy that I knew would never be able to hurt me the same way so to protect myself I just acted like the letter had never happened. Our friendship continued for a few more years then faded out when I started dating the guy who is now my ex-husband.
I found a bunch of letters from my old boyfriend when I was cleaning out my attic a few years ago. They still made my heart skip a beat and brought a tear to my eye. I'm sure I'm romanticizing the "one that got away" but can't help thinking what my life would have been like with him.

Of course you are. But write him a letter! Or call!

[Anonymous]

Yes, but he is married. Oh Fidslesticks!

[Anonymous]

Don't believe in the soulmate thing. I'm having Napoleon Dynamite brother thoughts. So funny.

My sister is on her fifth, another sister on her third, I am one and done. I can't imagine going through life with anyone else to be honest nor did I ever want to.

[Anonymous]

You do realize your soulmate is just a person who had a similarly messed up child hood and helps fulfill your "rescue scenario". That's the reason you feel you click. And yes I found my soulmate but now the real work continues for the rest of my life to try to keep the relationship in good working order.

[Anonymous]

Yes, we met at work many years ago and we were just good friends for about three years. We were both young MBA's trying to succeed so we had a decent amount in common. We didn't talk about our dating lives that much and we did not have an "emotional" affair, we were just good friends. Then out of the blue we connected and have never looked back. I really believe that being good friends for a long period before we connected emotionally and physically was a big plus for our relationship.

[Anonymous]

My soulmate is a rich dumb nymphomaniac who owns a bar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dated him for a year in college and was devastated when he broke up with me. We somehow managed to remain close friends for the next 6 years or so. We were long distance for most of our friendship but stayed connected through phone calls and letters (yes I'm dating myself). He once called me while drunk (which was unusual for him) and followed up with a letter written that same night in which he asked what I would have said if he had asked me to marry him when we were on the phone. He went on to say how he had broken up with me because I was his first girlfriend and he was terrified of how strongly he felt about me. My heart wanted to jump on the next plane and marry him but I was dating a nice guy that I knew would never be able to hurt me the same way so to protect myself I just acted like the letter had never happened. Our friendship continued for a few more years then faded out when I started dating the guy who is now my ex-husband.
I found a bunch of letters from my old boyfriend when I was cleaning out my attic a few years ago. They still made my heart skip a beat and brought a tear to my eye. I'm sure I'm romanticizing the "one that got away" but can't help thinking what my life would have been like with him.

Of course you are. But write him a letter! Or call!

I'd love to because even after 17 years of not talking I still miss our friendship. I've never felt so connected with another person. He lives hundreds of miles away from me and has a wife and kids. Just doesn't seem fair for me to reappear in his life even if I'm only looking to reconnect as friends. I think we were only able to move on and marry others because we ended our friendship. Hard to fully develop a new relationship when your closest friend is your former lover. So as much as I'd love to have him in my life again as a friend, I'd never want to risk rocking the boat in his marriage.

[Anonymous]

Don't believe in soulmates, but I have found my sexual equal. Who is also married to someone else, living on the other side of the country.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't believe in soulmates, but I have found my sexual equal. Who is also married to someone else, living on the other side of the country.....

Ahhhh. That is wonderful and just sucks.