Have you found your soulmate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely.

My soulmate is ... horses.

I've been in love a few times. Madly in love, once. I'm married. I like who I'm married to. Do I feel like our souls connect and we complete one another? No. in fact, I'm currently working very hard not to fall into an emotional affair with someone I'm working with on a big project and whom I've always found attractive and compelling. I'll manage not to cross the line because I'm not an idiot. I know that gorgeous feeling of a new emotional connection isn't what lasts for 20 or 50 years. My work friend is a better match than my husband if it were day one, but it's not. We're both married. And a better match doesn't mean I'd still be breathlessly besotted in a decade. Relationships are hard and I'm not the easiest person in the world to understand (I agree with the poster who said soulmates are complementarily broken; it's certainly true with my current longing).

However, I have a soul mate. My soul is at peace around horses. Always. There's no day around even a man I love that's as good as a day at the barn. Not even our wedding. It's been like this for me since I was eight years old. I've gone through phases in my life when I'm not riding and I become dissatisfied, pessimistic, and lost. When I'm riding regularly my life just works. My soul works. I become funnier, kinder, better at my job, a better spouse and parent.

Today the weather was so mild and the footing outdoors was decent, so I got in a lovely light workout with a hawk watching us from the fenceline. I had this moment where everything fell into place so beautifully and I found myself thinking I'm so lucky. Not everyone gets to have something they'll love for a lifetime.

But I do. And any man who wants me is going to deal with saddle pads in the washer dryer.

This is lovely PP.

[Anonymous]

I met my soulmate and spent four weeks with him before he had to leave forever. We knew from the start it would be temporary, there were no real dreams of a future. But we talked so much during that time, told each other everything about ourselves. He was brave but flawed and vulnerable. He was open with his feelings like I'd never seen a man be. He took me on dates, gave me a wonderful weekend away. It was like a dream really. I felt like I could tell him anything and he would still like me. When I was with him I felt whole, like this void of need inside me was filled. I've never felt it before or since.

So I call him my soulmate because the whole thing was magical and unique. After he left I spent a lot of time sad and angry that we couldn't be together. But, I made peace with it by realizing I had an amazing four weeks, when I could have gone a lifetime with nothing.

[Anonymous]

^ Sounds like an affair?

[Anonymous]

I found my soulmate in college and have been married for 18 great years. Of course, those were two different women.

[Anonymous]

I have a celebrity soulmate. They just don't know it yet.

[Anonymous]

I am very in love with my husband, he's an amazing man and we complement each other very well. That being said, I don't think he's my soulmate. I don't regret marrying him and have zero reasons (or wants) to divorce him, but when I think soulmate in my head it's different than what we have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably a dumb question, but I'm going to ask anyway. If you did, how do you know they're your soulmate?

You know by posting details of your relationship on DCUM. We'll let you know if you are soulmates or not. Sometimes without you asking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't believe in soulmates, but I have found my sexual equal. Who is also married to someone else, living on the other side of the country.....

Guess what... there are thousands of other "sexual equals" among the 5 million people in the DC area. Not just ONE "sexual equal" who lives 3,000 miles away with someone else.

Maybe PP has a very unique kink.

[Anonymous]

My soulmate is my best friend. She is my soul's perfect mate. And I am hers. Once we realized this gift in the friendship, it really helped with our respective marriages and the expectations there. For those of us fortunate enough to find their soul mate, you can feel like you are supposed to have that peace and alignment with only your spouse. But that just isn't true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't believe in soulmates, but I have found my sexual equal. Who is also married to someone else, living on the other side of the country.....

Guess what... there are thousands of other "sexual equals" among the 5 million people in the DC area. Not just ONE "sexual equal" who lives 3,000 miles away with someone else.

Maybe PP has a very unique kink.

Maybe it's clutching pearls during "love-making" or whatever euphemism is permitted on the non-explicit board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes but I'm not his soul mate so I am out here hoping for another

by definition, doesn't it have to be mutual?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My soulmate is my best friend. She is my soul's perfect mate. And I am hers. Once we realized this gift in the friendship, it really helped with our respective marriages and the expectations there. For those of us fortunate enough to find their soul mate, you can feel like you are supposed to have that peace and alignment with only your spouse. But that just isn't true.

Congratulations. You are very lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My soulmate is my best friend. She is my soul's perfect mate. And I am hers. Once we realized this gift in the friendship, it really helped with our respective marriages and the expectations there. For those of us fortunate enough to find their soul mate, you can feel like you are supposed to have that peace and alignment with only your spouse. But that just isn't true.

Congratulations. You are very lucky.

Not lucky enough if soulmate isn't your spouse.

[Anonymous]

My husband is an amazing man who contributes so much as a spouse and father. Is he perfect? No. Is he the kind of man I thought I would end up with? No. Do I periodically daydream about having someone who gets me on every level? Yes. That being said, I am content in my marriage and feel blessed to be growing my family with the man I'm married to. I might fantasize about finding the perfect man (sexually, mentally, emotionally), but I also know a good thing when I have it. I think it would be hard to find a man who satisfies my intellectual and physical needs 100% 24/7 and am not willing to give up what I have in hopes of finding that. I'm sure my husband would say the same thing, but we are imperfect together and have learned to appreciate what we have (which is pretty darn good, even if it leaves some things to be desired).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably a dumb question, but I'm going to ask anyway. If you did, how do you know they're your soulmate?

Not in my spouse. But lots of soulmate friends.