Too big an age gap?

[Anonymous]

28 years difference. Married 15 years. No prob.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to breed with someone that old. Big likelihood the baby would have issues. Lots of studies document issues caused by advanced paternal age.

Having said that, I doubt a 47 year old man wants kids anyway. He might not even want a wife. If he's never married, chances are he enjoys being on his own.

+2
I'm 34. My max is 39 and 40 is really pushing it. I agree advanced parternal age is partially the reason i don't date anyone in the 40's plus the generational difference. I want to go out to a bar or lounge and he probably wants stay home all day and do nothing. I want kids with a young man around my age and not someone closer to retirement.

Honey ,you're 34 ,(only 6 years from 40) you aren't that young yourself. Instead of drinking your time away at the lounge you might want to settle down with one of your young men and have the kids you want.

Go away misogynist troll. No one cares what you have to say. Run along

Eh, she's not wrong. You're advanced maternal age at 35. Thirty-five.

Nope, 40, actually.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/

^^^That's where the dumbass thought he was so smart by disproving the pp's statemebt that 35 is AMA. See where he says "Nope, 40 actually" followed by the Atlantic link?

Sigh. Kids these days.

To sum up: 35 is AMA. To be clear: you are coded AMA if you conceive at 34 but will be 35 at delivery. While you can certainly still get pregnant at AMA, it becomes more challenging with age and your odds of complications/issues increase with age. And the age of the father should be taken into consideration as well (regarding fertility as well as issues affecting the baby...autism, mental health issues, etc.).

OP: Do you even want kids? If not, then have fun with this guy. If you want to have kids, then you should probably do a little research.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to breed with someone that old. Big likelihood the baby would have issues. Lots of studies document issues caused by advanced paternal age.

Having said that, I doubt a 47 year old man wants kids anyway. He might not even want a wife. If he's never married, chances are he enjoys being on his own.

+2
I'm 34. My max is 39 and 40 is really pushing it. I agree advanced parternal age is partially the reason i don't date anyone in the 40's plus the generational difference. I want to go out to a bar or lounge and he probably wants stay home all day and do nothing. I want kids with a young man around my age and not someone closer to retirement.

Honey ,you're 34 ,(only 6 years from 40) you aren't that young yourself. Instead of drinking your time away at the lounge you might want to settle down with one of your young men and have the kids you want.

Go away misogynist troll. No one cares what you have to say. Run along

Eh, she's not wrong. You're advanced maternal age at 35. Thirty-five.

Nope, 40, actually.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/

^^^That's where the dumbass thought he was so smart by disproving the pp's statemebt that 35 is AMA. See where he says "Nope, 40 actually" followed by the Atlantic link?

Sigh. Kids these days.

To sum up: 35 is AMA. To be clear: you are coded AMA if you conceive at 34 but will be 35 at delivery. While you can certainly still get pregnant at AMA, it becomes more challenging with age and your odds of complications/issues increase with age. And the age of the father should be taken into consideration as well (regarding fertility as well as issues affecting the baby...autism, mental health issues, etc.).

OP: Do you even want kids? If not, then have fun with this guy. If you want to have kids, then you should probably do a little research.

Yep. Point out where they mentioned "AMA"? I'll wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to breed with someone that old. Big likelihood the baby would have issues. Lots of studies document issues caused by advanced paternal age.

Having said that, I doubt a 47 year old man wants kids anyway. He might not even want a wife. If he's never married, chances are he enjoys being on his own.

+2
I'm 34. My max is 39 and 40 is really pushing it. I agree advanced parternal age is partially the reason i don't date anyone in the 40's plus the generational difference. I want to go out to a bar or lounge and he probably wants stay home all day and do nothing. I want kids with a young man around my age and not someone closer to retirement.

Honey ,you're 34 ,(only 6 years from 40) you aren't that young yourself. Instead of drinking your time away at the lounge you might want to settle down with one of your young men and have the kids you want.

Go away misogynist troll. No one cares what you have to say. Run along

Eh, she's not wrong. You're advanced maternal age at 35. Thirty-five.

Nope, 40, actually.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/

Wrong. I had my first at 29, my second at 32, and my third at 35, and my fourth at 38. I was coded AMA at 35. 35 is AMA.

And there was an excellent story several years ago about how women are being fooled into believing you can hold off on having a baby until your 40s...but it's not true. You don't realize how many couples require medical intervention to have a baby in their mid to late 30s and certainly 40s.

Don't try to help her. She wants to spend her time drinking in lounges. Let her be 43 on her 9th round of IVF wondering where she went wrong.

You sound hilariously angry. Did you have a hard time getting pregnant or something? Sucks to suck.

No I didn't fritter away my fertility in my 30s still partying like I was 21. I knew I wanted marriage and a family so I made those things happen before 34. I do have a number of female friends who bought into the 40 is the new 20 narrative and are now either childless or struggling majorly with infertility, buy ymmv.

Ohhhhhh. So you're bitter because you got knocked up young and didn't get to truly lead your life. And it pisses you off that all the recent studies say that women's fertility doesn't really go into decline until 40.

I get it now. I would be upset too.

Traveled to 6 of 7 continents extensively, studied abroad, had several fun relationships, advanced degree and solid career by 27, married by 30 , kids done by 34. Still travelling, havinf fun, and enjoying my career and my kids will be out of the housr by my 40s when you'll be knee deep in diapers.
But you enjoy your drinks at the lounge.

You have absolutely every right to be proud - these are great accomplishments.

You are tussling with someone who is obviously worried that she may never see this kind of life - or when it does happen for her, she will be a lot older than she'd like to be. Clearly you were not a "child bride", but you knew what you wanted earlier on and you made those things your priorities.

IMHO, today's younger people want to have it both ways - they want to rocket up to the top of the corporate ladder, lounge at bars for years on end, and then have plenty of time to find a mate, raise a family, and live happily ever after. No one is saying you can't have these things, but you just have to realize that you don't have all the time in the world to achieve them.

So, please, don't hate. Procreate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to breed with someone that old. Big likelihood the baby would have issues. Lots of studies document issues caused by advanced paternal age.

Having said that, I doubt a 47 year old man wants kids anyway. He might not even want a wife. If he's never married, chances are he enjoys being on his own.

+2
I'm 34. My max is 39 and 40 is really pushing it. I agree advanced parternal age is partially the reason i don't date anyone in the 40's plus the generational difference. I want to go out to a bar or lounge and he probably wants stay home all day and do nothing. I want kids with a young man around my age and not someone closer to retirement.

Honey ,you're 34 ,(only 6 years from 40) you aren't that young yourself. Instead of drinking your time away at the lounge you might want to settle down with one of your young men and have the kids you want.

Go away misogynist troll. No one cares what you have to say. Run along

Eh, she's not wrong. You're advanced maternal age at 35. Thirty-five.

Nope, 40, actually.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/

^^^That's where the dumbass thought he was so smart by disproving the pp's statemebt that 35 is AMA. See where he says "Nope, 40 actually" followed by the Atlantic link?

Sigh. Kids these days.

To sum up: 35 is AMA. To be clear: you are coded AMA if you conceive at 34 but will be 35 at delivery. While you can certainly still get pregnant at AMA, it becomes more challenging with age and your odds of complications/issues increase with age. And the age of the father should be taken into consideration as well (regarding fertility as well as issues affecting the baby...autism, mental health issues, etc.).

OP: Do you even want kids? If not, then have fun with this guy. If you want to have kids, then you should probably do a little research.

Yep. Point out where they mentioned "AMA"? I'll wait.

AMA is advanced maternal age. The passage you've copied and pasted above contains the statements about 35 and 40. I'm not sure what else to say. You are clearly a teenage boy (and a rather dense one, apparently).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to breed with someone that old. Big likelihood the baby would have issues. Lots of studies document issues caused by advanced paternal age.

Having said that, I doubt a 47 year old man wants kids anyway. He might not even want a wife. If he's never married, chances are he enjoys being on his own.

+2
I'm 34. My max is 39 and 40 is really pushing it. I agree advanced parternal age is partially the reason i don't date anyone in the 40's plus the generational difference. I want to go out to a bar or lounge and he probably wants stay home all day and do nothing. I want kids with a young man around my age and not someone closer to retirement.

Honey ,you're 34 ,(only 6 years from 40) you aren't that young yourself. Instead of drinking your time away at the lounge you might want to settle down with one of your young men and have the kids you want.

Go away misogynist troll. No one cares what you have to say. Run along

Eh, she's not wrong. You're advanced maternal age at 35. Thirty-five.

Nope, 40, actually.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/

Wrong. I had my first at 29, my second at 32, and my third at 35, and my fourth at 38. I was coded AMA at 35. 35 is AMA.

And there was an excellent story several years ago about how women are being fooled into believing you can hold off on having a baby until your 40s...but it's not true. You don't realize how many couples require medical intervention to have a baby in their mid to late 30s and certainly 40s.

Don't try to help her. She wants to spend her time drinking in lounges. Let her be 43 on her 9th round of IVF wondering where she went wrong.

You sound hilariously angry. Did you have a hard time getting pregnant or something? Sucks to suck.

No I didn't fritter away my fertility in my 30s still partying like I was 21. I knew I wanted marriage and a family so I made those things happen before 34. I do have a number of female friends who bought into the 40 is the new 20 narrative and are now either childless or struggling majorly with infertility, buy ymmv.

Ohhhhhh. So you're bitter because you got knocked up young and didn't get to truly lead your life. And it pisses you off that all the recent studies say that women's fertility doesn't really go into decline until 40.

I get it now. I would be upset too.

Traveled to 6 of 7 continents extensively, studied abroad, had several fun relationships, advanced degree and solid career by 27, married by 30 , kids done by 34. Still travelling, havinf fun, and enjoying my career and my kids will be out of the housr by my 40s when you'll be knee deep in diapers.
But you enjoy your drinks at the lounge.

Not PP, but you still sound like a judgmental B. So... Congrats?

+1

No wonder she's so obsessed with "lounges"

[Anonymous]

Do you want kids? Does he want kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to breed with someone that old. Big likelihood the baby would have issues. Lots of studies document issues caused by advanced paternal age.

Having said that, I doubt a 47 year old man wants kids anyway. He might not even want a wife. If he's never married, chances are he enjoys being on his own.

+2
I'm 34. My max is 39 and 40 is really pushing it. I agree advanced parternal age is partially the reason i don't date anyone in the 40's plus the generational difference. I want to go out to a bar or lounge and he probably wants stay home all day and do nothing. I want kids with a young man around my age and not someone closer to retirement.

Honey ,you're 34 ,(only 6 years from 40) you aren't that young yourself. Instead of drinking your time away at the lounge you might want to settle down with one of your young men and have the kids you want.

Go away misogynist troll. No one cares what you have to say. Run along

Eh, she's not wrong. You're advanced maternal age at 35. Thirty-five.

Nope, 40, actually.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/

Wrong. I had my first at 29, my second at 32, and my third at 35, and my fourth at 38. I was coded AMA at 35. 35 is AMA.

And there was an excellent story several years ago about how women are being fooled into believing you can hold off on having a baby until your 40s...but it's not true. You don't realize how many couples require medical intervention to have a baby in their mid to late 30s and certainly 40s.

Don't try to help her. She wants to spend her time drinking in lounges. Let her be 43 on her 9th round of IVF wondering where she went wrong.

You sound hilariously angry. Did you have a hard time getting pregnant or something? Sucks to suck.

No I didn't fritter away my fertility in my 30s still partying like I was 21. I knew I wanted marriage and a family so I made those things happen before 34. I do have a number of female friends who bought into the 40 is the new 20 narrative and are now either childless or struggling majorly with infertility, buy ymmv.

Ohhhhhh. So you're bitter because you got knocked up young and didn't get to truly lead your life. And it pisses you off that all the recent studies say that women's fertility doesn't really go into decline until 40.

I get it now. I would be upset too.

Traveled to 6 of 7 continents extensively, studied abroad, had several fun relationships, advanced degree and solid career by 27, married by 30 , kids done by 34. Still travelling, havinf fun, and enjoying my career and my kids will be out of the housr by my 40s when you'll be knee deep in diapers.
But you enjoy your drinks at the lounge.

Not PP, but you still sound like a judgmental B. So... Congrats?

+1

No wonder she's so obsessed with "lounges"

She's made her point and it sure sounds like she's happy with her life. The truth can sometimes be inconvenient.

And please stop it with the "sucks suck" bit - it's very childish and doesn't demonstrate the maturity I think you want to portray here, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to breed with someone that old. Big likelihood the baby would have issues. Lots of studies document issues caused by advanced paternal age.

Having said that, I doubt a 47 year old man wants kids anyway. He might not even want a wife. If he's never married, chances are he enjoys being on his own.

+2
I'm 34. My max is 39 and 40 is really pushing it. I agree advanced parternal age is partially the reason i don't date anyone in the 40's plus the generational difference. I want to go out to a bar or lounge and he probably wants stay home all day and do nothing. I want kids with a young man around my age and not someone closer to retirement.

Honey ,you're 34 ,(only 6 years from 40) you aren't that young yourself. Instead of drinking your time away at the lounge you might want to settle down with one of your young men and have the kids you want.

Go away misogynist troll. No one cares what you have to say. Run along

Eh, she's not wrong. You're advanced maternal age at 35. Thirty-five.

Nope, 40, actually.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/

Wrong. I had my first at 29, my second at 32, and my third at 35, and my fourth at 38. I was coded AMA at 35. 35 is AMA.

And there was an excellent story several years ago about how women are being fooled into believing you can hold off on having a baby until your 40s...but it's not true. You don't realize how many couples require medical intervention to have a baby in their mid to late 30s and certainly 40s.

Don't try to help her. She wants to spend her time drinking in lounges. Let her be 43 on her 9th round of IVF wondering where she went wrong.

You sound hilariously angry. Did you have a hard time getting pregnant or something? Sucks to suck.

No I didn't fritter away my fertility in my 30s still partying like I was 21. I knew I wanted marriage and a family so I made those things happen before 34. I do have a number of female friends who bought into the 40 is the new 20 narrative and are now either childless or struggling majorly with infertility, buy ymmv.

Ohhhhhh. So you're bitter because you got knocked up young and didn't get to truly lead your life. And it pisses you off that all the recent studies say that women's fertility doesn't really go into decline until 40.

I get it now. I would be upset too.

Traveled to 6 of 7 continents extensively, studied abroad, had several fun relationships, advanced degree and solid career by 27, married by 30 , kids done by 34. Still travelling, havinf fun, and enjoying my career and my kids will be out of the housr by my 40s when you'll be knee deep in diapers.
But you enjoy your drinks at the lounge.

Not PP, but you still sound like a judgmental B. So... Congrats?

+1

No wonder she's so obsessed with "lounges"

She's made her point and it sure sounds like she's happy with her life. The truth can sometimes be inconvenient.

And please stop it with the "sucks suck" bit - it's very childish and doesn't demonstrate the maturity I think you want to portray here, IMO.

If her point was that she's unhinged, she certainly has proved it beyond any doubt.

[Anonymous]

Not to hijack OPs thread, but the Atlantic article being debated basically moves the significant drop in fertility from 35 to 38-39. But it also says that the fertility drop is individual, meaning some women don't experience it until early 40s and some experience it mid-30s. Which is why reproductive medicine groups use 35 as AMA. It isn't to suggest most women age 35 are going to have trouble conceiving, but they are entering the 5-year window where it will start.

How unfortunate these stats are used to bludgeon women, depending where you are on the divide. Mommy wars continue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 32 and dating a guy who is 47.

BUT BUT BUT men are worthless after 35!

Sincerely,

DCUM harpies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What attracts you to senior citizens, OP?

His massive wallet. What else are women attracted to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What attracts you to senior citizens, OP?

His massive wallet. What else are women attracted to?

[Anonymous]

OP, technically he fails the "dirty old man" formula by 1.5 years.

47/2 + 7 = 30.5

He probably a bit too old for you, but if you like the guy, and he is reasonably healthy and fit, then do what you like. I would put his age at the upper limit for men having children. Prior to birth control, it wasn't uncommon for men (and women) to have children well into their 40s. Of course, it usually wasn't their first child.

Think of dating as a decathlon. He is "below average" in the "age event," but maybe he excels at something else.

Another poster noted (correctly, I believe) that some of the posters here are triggered by stories of older men dating younger women, and tend to have strong reactions that are rooted in insecurity. In the end, everyone is a complex individual. No one here except you knows this guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, technically he fails the "dirty old man" formula by 1.5 years.

47/2 + 7 = 30.5

He probably a bit too old for you, but if you like the guy, and he is reasonably healthy and fit, then do what you like. I would put his age at the upper limit for men having children. Prior to birth control, it wasn't uncommon for men (and women) to have children well into their 40s. Of course, it usually wasn't their first child.

Think of dating as a decathlon. He is "below average" in the "age event," but maybe he excels at something else.

Another poster noted (correctly, I believe) that some of the posters here are triggered by stories of older men dating younger women, and tend to have strong reactions that are rooted in insecurity. In the end, everyone is a complex individual. No one here except you knows this guy.

"Triggered"? Are you Lena Dunham?

I think it's just a lot of people find older people unattractive, hence the idea of dating one is unappealing, or "gross" as some less mature people put it. Simple.