Too big an age gap?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What attracts you to senior citizens, OP?

When we met I was sure he was in his late 30's. He doesn't act "old"!

[Anonymous]

Do you normally fit in with people your own age, or do you skew older or younger? I've always gotten along better with people older than me and somewhat felt out of place with people my own age. My DH is 13 years older than I am. He also was a total jackass when he was in his 30s (when we first met). Ten years later, when we got together, he'd mellowed into a very fine person. Works for us, but if I was doing typical 30-something things and met someone almost 50, it might not work so well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the biggest issue can be his baggage -- he's got 15 years' more baggage than OP. Does he have kids and an ex-wife? If not, why?

Ex wife yes, kids no.

Why didn't he have kids?

His ex kept putting it off for career reasons and then decided she didn't want any.

[Anonymous]

How rich is he?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you normally fit in with people your own age, or do you skew older or younger? I've always gotten along better with people older than me and somewhat felt out of place with people my own age. My DH is 13 years older than I am. He also was a total jackass when he was in his 30s (when we first met). Ten years later, when we got together, he'd mellowed into a very fine person. Works for us, but if I was doing typical 30-something things and met someone almost 50, it might not work so well.

Most of my friends are in my age range. He's definitely not a millennial but he's not a baby boomer either.

[Anonymous]

Think about it like this. When you are going to be 45, he will be 60. When you are 55, he is going to be 70.

[Anonymous]

I've known couples with that age gap and it appears to work for them.

You never know what life is going to bring. Illness can happen to anyone and any age. The most important thing is choosing someone that you are compatible with and that you love.

[Anonymous]

I always feel desperately sorry for women with much older men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How rich is he?

He has a good job and lives comfortably. So do I and marrying rich is not a requirement for me.

[Anonymous]

Is he a lobbyist by any chance?

[Anonymous]

I have friends with this age gap, and they are the exact same ages as you and your guy. They jut got married over the summer after 4 years together and are very happy.
They are both men so there isn't the same pressure concerning biology and childbearing, but everything else generation considerations , compatibility etc, are a perfect match.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Think about it like this. When you are going to be 45, he will be 60. When you are 55, he is going to be 70.

I know a gal who married someone who was in his late 40's when she was 30. When I first met her she was about 45 and he was an "old" 60 something. She was in her late 50's when he passed away after quite a few years of him being very infirmed. They had one child and 20 good years but she was just hitting her prime empty nester years when he began to fade. It was very sad, but she loveed him and that trumps all.

[Anonymous]

I would be concerned if he wants kids. Even if he doesn't, will he have them for you. We have 10 years and its fine, but its concerning with younger kids. That is a very big age difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you normally fit in with people your own age, or do you skew older or younger? I've always gotten along better with people older than me and somewhat felt out of place with people my own age. My DH is 13 years older than I am. He also was a total jackass when he was in his 30s (when we first met). Ten years later, when we got together, he'd mellowed into a very fine person. Works for us, but if I was doing typical 30-something things and met someone almost 50, it might not work so well.

Most of my friends are in my age range. He's definitely not a millennial but he's not a baby boomer either.

He is what is considered a GenXer.

[Anonymous]

You are never going to get useful advice on this question, OP. Men dating younger women taps into female insecurity for some women. The same way women talking about small penises causes insecurity in some men and they lash out.

Of course, you will have unique challenges with an older man. More so in 20 years when he is older. The age gap isn't that unique. If it works for you is the only question.