Too big an age gap?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How rich is he?

He has a good job and lives comfortably. So do I and marrying rich is not a requirement for me.

Since money is not an issue, question is, do you love him? My mom is 10 years younger than my Dad, and that was no big deal in late 60s. He now has dementia, loads of problems, and so does she, yet she is now fully taking care of everything, he is incapable of dressing himself and doing anything at all for himself. It is incredibly hard on my mom. He keeps forgetting who she is. Nursing home in not an option, back in Eastern Europe. So, how is his health? There are many things to consider. But, if you are truly in love and so is he, and you are going with your eyes wide open into it, love is love, go for it. Good thing is that here, there are many good elderly care options, and since you both have decent income, that might not be an issue for you.

[Anonymous]

DH and I are 15yrs apart and have been married for 14yrs now. This topic comes up on DCUM every now and then and you get lots of ew's and posters pointing out old man physique, and how do you feel about caring for him in his old age when you are in your retirement years.

Here's my .02, there are no guarantees in life. When we married I was 30 and he was 44. We've had 14 great years, and both of us for now at least are healthy and fit. No reason to think we both won't live another few decades. At the same time, there is nothing to say that tomorrow I won't be stricken with cancer, or he won't drop dead of a heart attack or any other unforeseen horrible thing.

Knowing the odds are that he will die well before you, barring a major life event, do you want 30-40 loving years together? With the divorce rate in this country, not many people get that.

The big key, of course, is children. Be very clear together on your expectations and desires. Have a good financial advisor in terms of ensuring that life insurance, long-term care insurance and other elements are in place. Long-term care was the biggie for us.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to breed with someone that old. Big likelihood the baby would have issues. Lots of studies document issues caused by advanced paternal age.

Having said that, I doubt a 47 year old man wants kids anyway. He might not even want a wife. If he's never married, chances are he enjoys being on his own.

+2
I'm 34. My max is 39 and 40 is really pushing it. I agree advanced parternal age is partially the reason i don't date anyone in the 40's plus the generational difference. I want to go out to a bar or lounge and he probably wants stay home all day and do nothing. I want kids with a young man around my age and not someone closer to retirement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to breed with someone that old. Big likelihood the baby would have issues. Lots of studies document issues caused by advanced paternal age.

Having said that, I doubt a 47 year old man wants kids anyway. He might not even want a wife. If he's never married, chances are he enjoys being on his own.

+2
I'm 34. My max is 39 and 40 is really pushing it. I agree advanced parternal age is partially the reason i don't date anyone in the 40's plus the generational difference. I want to go out to a bar or lounge and he probably wants stay home all day and do nothing. I want kids with a young man around my age and not someone closer to retirement.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to breed with someone that old. Big likelihood the baby would have issues. Lots of studies document issues caused by advanced paternal age.

Having said that, I doubt a 47 year old man wants kids anyway. He might not even want a wife. If he's never married, chances are he enjoys being on his own.

+2
I'm 34. My max is 39 and 40 is really pushing it. I agree advanced parternal age is partially the reason i don't date anyone in the 40's plus the generational difference. I want to go out to a bar or lounge and he probably wants stay home all day and do nothing. I want kids with a young man around my age and not someone closer to retirement.

Honey ,you're 34 ,(only 6 years from 40) you aren't that young yourself. Instead of drinking your time away at the lounge you might want to settle down with one of your young men and have the kids you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to breed with someone that old. Big likelihood the baby would have issues. Lots of studies document issues caused by advanced paternal age.

Having said that, I doubt a 47 year old man wants kids anyway. He might not even want a wife. If he's never married, chances are he enjoys being on his own.

+2
I'm 34. My max is 39 and 40 is really pushing it. I agree advanced parternal age is partially the reason i don't date anyone in the 40's plus the generational difference. I want to go out to a bar or lounge and he probably wants stay home all day and do nothing. I want kids with a young man around my age and not someone closer to retirement.

Honey ,you're 34 ,(only 6 years from 40) you aren't that young yourself. Instead of drinking your time away at the lounge you might want to settle down with one of your young men and have the kids you want.

Go away misogynist troll. No one cares what you have to say. Run along

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to breed with someone that old. Big likelihood the baby would have issues. Lots of studies document issues caused by advanced paternal age.

Having said that, I doubt a 47 year old man wants kids anyway. He might not even want a wife. If he's never married, chances are he enjoys being on his own.

+2
I'm 34. My max is 39 and 40 is really pushing it. I agree advanced parternal age is partially the reason i don't date anyone in the 40's plus the generational difference. I want to go out to a bar or lounge and he probably wants stay home all day and do nothing. I want kids with a young man around my age and not someone closer to retirement.

Honey ,you're 34 ,(only 6 years from 40) you aren't that young yourself. Instead of drinking your time away at the lounge you might want to settle down with one of your young men and have the kids you want.

Go away misogynist troll. No one cares what you have to say. Run along

Eh, she's not wrong. You're advanced maternal age at 35. Thirty-five.

[Anonymous]

Does he want kids? He'll be changing diapers at 50. He'll be almost 70 when kids graduate high school. Are you both ok with that?
My family is in that situation and we're ok with it, but it may not be for everyone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to breed with someone that old. Big likelihood the baby would have issues. Lots of studies document issues caused by advanced paternal age.

Having said that, I doubt a 47 year old man wants kids anyway. He might not even want a wife. If he's never married, chances are he enjoys being on his own.

+2
I'm 34. My max is 39 and 40 is really pushing it. I agree advanced parternal age is partially the reason i don't date anyone in the 40's plus the generational difference. I want to go out to a bar or lounge and he probably wants stay home all day and do nothing. I want kids with a young man around my age and not someone closer to retirement.

Honey ,you're 34 ,(only 6 years from 40) you aren't that young yourself. Instead of drinking your time away at the lounge you might want to settle down with one of your young men and have the kids you want.

Go away misogynist troll. No one cares what you have to say. Run along

Eh, she's not wrong. You're advanced maternal age at 35. Thirty-five.

Nope, 40, actually.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to breed with someone that old. Big likelihood the baby would have issues. Lots of studies document issues caused by advanced paternal age.

Having said that, I doubt a 47 year old man wants kids anyway. He might not even want a wife. If he's never married, chances are he enjoys being on his own.

+2
I'm 34. My max is 39 and 40 is really pushing it. I agree advanced parternal age is partially the reason i don't date anyone in the 40's plus the generational difference. I want to go out to a bar or lounge and he probably wants stay home all day and do nothing. I want kids with a young man around my age and not someone closer to retirement.

Honey ,you're 34 ,(only 6 years from 40) you aren't that young yourself. Instead of drinking your time away at the lounge you might want to settle down with one of your young men and have the kids you want.

Go away misogynist troll. No one cares what you have to say. Run along

Just because you don't like what I have to say doesn't mean I'm wrong or a troll. You are 34 most likely you haven't had your birthday yet for the year o you will be turning 35 this year. Since age is a concern for you I'm sure you are aware that when it comes to fertility and the health of your children you are on the wrong side of the trend. You made no mention of being serious with one of your young men so it'll likely be another year or 2 before you get serious and bother to have a child which makes you even older and more at risk.
Have a drink to that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to breed with someone that old. Big likelihood the baby would have issues. Lots of studies document issues caused by advanced paternal age.

Having said that, I doubt a 47 year old man wants kids anyway. He might not even want a wife. If he's never married, chances are he enjoys being on his own.

+2
I'm 34. My max is 39 and 40 is really pushing it. I agree advanced parternal age is partially the reason i don't date anyone in the 40's plus the generational difference. I want to go out to a bar or lounge and he probably wants stay home all day and do nothing. I want kids with a young man around my age and not someone closer to retirement.

Honey ,you're 34 ,(only 6 years from 40) you aren't that young yourself. Instead of drinking your time away at the lounge you might want to settle down with one of your young men and have the kids you want.

Go away misogynist troll. No one cares what you have to say. Run along

Eh, she's not wrong. You're advanced maternal age at 35. Thirty-five.

Nope, 40, actually.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/

Oh honey you can't seriously think you have until 40 to start trying for kids? Don't be foolish!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to breed with someone that old. Big likelihood the baby would have issues. Lots of studies document issues caused by advanced paternal age.

Having said that, I doubt a 47 year old man wants kids anyway. He might not even want a wife. If he's never married, chances are he enjoys being on his own.

+2
I'm 34. My max is 39 and 40 is really pushing it. I agree advanced parternal age is partially the reason i don't date anyone in the 40's plus the generational difference. I want to go out to a bar or lounge and he probably wants stay home all day and do nothing. I want kids with a young man around my age and not someone closer to retirement.

Honey ,you're 34 ,(only 6 years from 40) you aren't that young yourself. Instead of drinking your time away at the lounge you might want to settle down with one of your young men and have the kids you want.

Go away misogynist troll. No one cares what you have to say. Run along

Eh, she's not wrong. You're advanced maternal age at 35. Thirty-five.

Nope, 40, actually.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/

Oh honey you can't seriously think you have until 40 to start trying for kids? Don't be foolish!

I guess you didn't read the article. Lol.

[Anonymous]

A relative was in a relationship with a man 15 years older. She ended up with early onset dementia, so she was the one who needed a nursing home first.
You never know what life will bring.

[Anonymous]

It would be too large a gap for me. 5-7 would be my limit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to breed with someone that old. Big likelihood the baby would have issues. Lots of studies document issues caused by advanced paternal age.

Having said that, I doubt a 47 year old man wants kids anyway. He might not even want a wife. If he's never married, chances are he enjoys being on his own.

+2
I'm 34. My max is 39 and 40 is really pushing it. I agree advanced parternal age is partially the reason i don't date anyone in the 40's plus the generational difference. I want to go out to a bar or lounge and he probably wants stay home all day and do nothing. I want kids with a young man around my age and not someone closer to retirement.

Honey ,you're 34 ,(only 6 years from 40) you aren't that young yourself. Instead of drinking your time away at the lounge you might want to settle down with one of your young men and have the kids you want.

Go away misogynist troll. No one cares what you have to say. Run along

Eh, she's not wrong. You're advanced maternal age at 35. Thirty-five.

Nope, 40, actually.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/

Wrong. I had my first at 29, my second at 32, and my third at 35, and my fourth at 38. I was coded AMA at 35. 35 is AMA.

And there was an excellent story several years ago about how women are being fooled into believing you can hold off on having a baby until your 40s...but it's not true. You don't realize how many couples require medical intervention to have a baby in their mid to late 30s and certainly 40s.