How do some 5 year olds get to be little turds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 5 year old came home sad today because a boy who sits at her table told her and another girl at her table their word study (spelling) pages are for "babies." Obviously he is in a harder group.

She and I talked about it and she is fine, but what a little shit. I would be mortified if my kid sold this to another child.

You are conflating issues. The issue isn't just being sad for being called a name, but because your daughter is in a lower group. My DS was in the lowest reading group in 1st. My DD was in the highest. I've had to reinforce with DS that different kids reading in different ways and at different times (or writing or math) (the research actually bears out that 'earlier' on these things general even out by 3rd grade -- now my DS is a much stronger reader relatively for instance).

So confidence, and reinforce that we don't call people mean names, and give your child the skills to say that to whoever is acting badly toward her.

Then raise money and demand Responsive Classroom or the peaceful similar type of program or similar for the school -- teaching kindness and empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well here is the good news op. When you catch your child saying something mean to another- and you will- you can remind her of this incident and how she felt.

OP here. I know this is hard for some of you to believe. But some kids just don't think like that. My DD (and no she is not my first child) is far from perfect. She is sensitive and shy and and is reluctant to do things independently - all things we are working on - but it would just never occur to her to tease or be mean to another child. And I think that is why it was so hard for her to understand why another child would say something like that. This same little boy finishes all of his worksheets really quickly and announces to his tablemates "I'm finished. I win!" every day. Something is up with the way this kid is being parented. You will not convince me otherwise.

I get you OP. Most kids do NOT act the way this kid did to yours, even those these moms seem to think they all do. They don't. One thing many parents seem to forget to teach their kids is empathy and thinking of others feelings before themselves. When you see/hear kids act like this, just realize it is probably a tiger mom or an older sibling that is to blame, especially at such a young age like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well here is the good news op. When you catch your child saying something mean to another- and you will- you can remind her of this incident and how she felt.

OP here. I know this is hard for some of you to believe. But some kids just don't think like that. My DD (and no she is not my first child) is far from perfect. She is sensitive and shy and and is reluctant to do things independently - all things we are working on - but it would just never occur to her to tease or be mean to another child. And I think that is why it was so hard for her to understand why another child would say something like that. This same little boy finishes all of his worksheets really quickly and announces to his tablemates "I'm finished. I win!" every day. Something is up with the way this kid is being parented. You will not convince me otherwise.

Of course we won't convince you, FTM of a girl. Have a second kid, a boy, and then report back.

I have 4 kids and none of them are mean like this or bullies. I had one that started down that path but we nipped that in the bud quick.

Also, why do you think boys could do this and not girls? Sexist much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:wow you are overreacting OP. Put a monitor on your own kid for a day to hear what your DC might be saying through the day. Kids this age basically are repeating what they hear others saying and are also showing off for their friends.

Just reinforce to your own kid to not say things that hurt other people's feelings, ignore when other people say something ridiculous and mean when they are just trying to show off, and if you really want go in and talk with the teacher about advice/support for kind words in the classroom.

Her daughter is 5. Kids that age do not go around and try and repeat each other by saying mean things to one another. I am curious what schools your kids go to that you think this is the normal behavior of K students day in and day out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you moms are honestly just horrendous. The ones saying this 5yr old needs to get a backbone and get over it. The OP didn't say she wasn't going to teach her that. She didn't say she was at home crying about it. She didn't say she was going to run into the school and point fingers at the kid. She is venting a mean kid said something mean and unnecessary. And you all are just throwing insults after insults at each other.

And we now see where these kids get this type of behavior and attitude from.

All of you are disgusting.

Uh... maybe check the mirror?

I agree with the PP and your post just proved her point. Nice job!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This is why you send your kids to preschool. Otherwise they will end up in kindergarten and not know how to spell and have poor social skills. Maybe you can spend some time working with her on both. There are other ways to deal with another child saying something you don't like besides tattling to your mom.

The majority of kids do go to pre-school but, they can also have learning disabilities that make reading ( dyslexia anyone?) or math disabilities that make school work very challenging. That does not mean they are not smart. It is cruel for kids to point this fact out even for five years old. But, we as parents need to step in and teach kids to mind their own business. Who cares if Timmy is in the lower math and Sarah is not reading chapter books? They might be amazing artists or play the piano.

I get it, op as my kids have been made fun of in school. However, in many cases ( not all) mean kids do turn into mean adults and I teach them to rise above mean comments. Doesn't mean it won't hurt but, if the bullies were so confident than they wouldn't put others down. I teach them that mean kids feel inferior at a deep level. Otherwise, if you are on top why would you make those comments?

Also, many preschools don't overtly teach academics - just pre-reading skills and pre-math skills. I would never assume most kids going to K already know how to read.

Right. But it is a good place for your child to be exposed to kids that you maybe wouldn't choose for them to hang out with and go outside the parental bubble a little, but still with more oversight over social interactions than kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wow you are overreacting OP. Put a monitor on your own kid for a day to hear what your DC might be saying through the day. Kids this age basically are repeating what they hear others saying and are also showing off for their friends.

Just reinforce to your own kid to not say things that hurt other people's feelings, ignore when other people say something ridiculous and mean when they are just trying to show off, and if you really want go in and talk with the teacher about advice/support for kind words in the classroom.

Her daughter is 5. Kids that age do not go around and try and repeat each other by saying mean things to one another. I am curious what schools your kids go to that you think this is the normal behavior of K students day in and day out.

This wasn't a story about systemic bullying. it was one cruel comment. that's why i think there are so many responses about overreacting. I have two kids who have gone through K - and have volunteered in the classrooms. The 'baby' bomb is an often used 'put down'. from one kid saying it to another for wearing a Star Wars shirt ('only babies like star wars') or about reading levels or about wearing the color pink. Yes, skilled teachers have talks about that not being appropriate and hurting feelings and kids having different tastes and interests everyone should respect -- and having kids get a behavior mark or warning for it, etc. As it should be, it should not be tolerated, of course. But the teachers don't/can't hear everything. If it was a pattern of behavior or being picked on that's a different issue. I have one sensitive kid who this would stick to & one that it would roll off of. For instance, the roller offer walked away from a game at recess because the other kid wasn't following to the rules and got called a baby. He turned around and said "seriously, get real.' The other needs a pep talk at night and we read books about how to handle people who are insensitive and building self esteem with the other.

[Anonymous]

everyone faces some disappointing moments in life. People are mean. Tell her to ignore the comments.

[Anonymous]

OP, you have spent far more time thinking about this than your kid has. Let it go. Some kids are mean and your kid will get teased at times. It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

If op is this sensitive now, i feel for the dh who has to support her through menopause

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If op is this sensitive now, i feel for the dh who has to support her through menopause

I feel bad for your DH because you are a bitch

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If op is this sensitive now, i feel for the dh who has to support her through menopause

I feel bad for your DH because you are a bitch

How nice are you supposed to be to someone you know nothing about except that she refers to kindergarteners as "turds" and "little shits?" I can't believe that people think this is okay.