Why are some people so LOUD?

[Anonymous]

I'm about as far from introverted as you'll find. And I have five grown/nearly grown kids so it's not like our house was always quiet. Still, I am never loud. I guess if our house were on fire I would make an exception. My kids have never heard me raise my voice. Loud women are so tacky and common. You can be outgoing and extroverted without constantly calling attention to yourself.

[Anonymous]

doodlebug wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so loud. I don't really care if it annoys people.

We just moved to an open floor plan at work and I had 2 women complain about my "loudness"... I tell them to tell the survey.

Good news I am getting a promotion and an office in a few weeks and that will piss them off more than my "loudness".

My NY friends are louder.

The issue the other people have has less to do with the loudness (though it's certainly a problem if they're complaining) but it's your attitude of "the world revolves around me and screw everyone else" that's the problem. If they had gone straight to your boss or HR to complain you'd be mad that they didn't come to you first and deal with you like an adult, face to face. Well they did, and your attitude is why people going behind other people's backs to the boss or HR instead of trying to deal with issues head on.

Not PP but that is the pot calling kettle black.

The loud talker did not complain about anyone. It is the complainer that thinks the world revolves around them and needs the whole workforce to comply with her little needs to be a productive employee.

This is why every classroom need SN kids, a kid with ADHD, preferably a child with Tourette's. His is real life and being raised in a bubble has not served you well.

Sorry, but the whole world is not conforming to your little needs so you can be happy. Grow the f up.

Learn to deal, learn to ignore, learn to operate in environments that are not perfect.... Little snowflake it's getting warm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is a double threat. ADHD AND hearing loss since birth. He would drive you nuts. We are working with a specialist to help him understand how to have conversations with others, and manage his impulsivity and confusion when he can't follow conversations.

Sounds trite, but remember that people are fighting battles you will never know or comprehend. This little 6 year old amazing guy is one of them.

OP here. I'm not really talking about children here. I know they're loud. You don't have to defend your son. I'm talking about (as some people on DCUM like to say) "grown ass adults."

Kids with special needs grow into 'grown ass adults.' I worry about my double threat son being criticized by people like OP as he grows older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

doodlebug wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so loud. I don't really care if it annoys people.

We just moved to an open floor plan at work and I had 2 women complain about my "loudness"... I tell them to tell the survey.

Good news I am getting a promotion and an office in a few weeks and that will piss them off more than my "loudness".

My NY friends are louder.

The issue the other people have has less to do with the loudness (though it's certainly a problem if they're complaining) but it's your attitude of "the world revolves around me and screw everyone else" that's the problem. If they had gone straight to your boss or HR to complain you'd be mad that they didn't come to you first and deal with you like an adult, face to face. Well they did, and your attitude is why people going behind other people's backs to the boss or HR instead of trying to deal with issues head on.

Not PP but that is the pot calling kettle black.

The loud talker did not complain about anyone. It is the complainer that thinks the world revolves around them and needs the whole workforce to comply with her little needs to be a productive employee.










Read your post from the opposite perspective....sounds the same. Both sides need to be a little forgiving of the other.

This is why every classroom need SN kids, a kid with ADHD, preferably a child with Tourette's. His is real life and being raised in a bubble has not served you well.

Sorry, but the whole world is not conforming to your little needs so you can be happy. Grow the f up.

Learn to deal, learn to ignore, learn to operate in environments that are not perfect.... Little snowflake it's getting warm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on the person but also on their family and the sound level they're used to. And on a larger scale it's a cultural thing as well.

Anecdotally, I live in Paris where locals have the reputation of unkind/impatient with tourists, but I think some of it is just tourists being very loud and completely oblivious to the level of noise they're generating. French people speak very softly, even in Paris, and oftentimes on the subway the only voices you'll hear will be tourists yelling at each other and disturbing the peace and quiet. In some cases the unfriendliness is just a visceral reaction to people "hurting" your ears!

Yes, Americans in general are so loud! Very embarrassing when traveling abroad...pull out my Canadian flag.

[Anonymous]

It's about time someone complained about loud people since the loud ones are so quick to point out when someone is quiet. They don't try to actually listen. They want everyone to be loud. What's worse is when people are loud and won't stop talking. You can't even hear yourself think when someone else is yammering all the time. How many loud people have actually been told they are loud? Or do all the nice introverts just put in ear plugs leaving the loud ones to think they own the air space?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on the person but also on their family and the sound level they're used to. And on a larger scale it's a cultural thing as well.

Anecdotally, I live in Paris where locals have the reputation of unkind/impatient with tourists, but I think some of it is just tourists being very loud and completely oblivious to the level of noise they're generating. French people speak very softly, even in Paris, and oftentimes on the subway the only voices you'll hear will be tourists yelling at each other and disturbing the peace and quiet. In some cases the unfriendliness is just a visceral reaction to people "hurting" your ears!

+1 I grew up in Europe and the middle east and came to the US as a teenager. Americans, as a whole, are very loud! In many countries it's considered low class to talk loudly in public, but obviously not here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on the person but also on their family and the sound level they're used to. And on a larger scale it's a cultural thing as well.

Anecdotally, I live in Paris where locals have the reputation of unkind/impatient with tourists, but I think some of it is just tourists being very loud and completely oblivious to the level of noise they're generating. French people speak very softly, even in Paris, and oftentimes on the subway the only voices you'll hear will be tourists yelling at each other and disturbing the peace and quiet. In some cases the unfriendliness is just a visceral reaction to people "hurting" your ears!

+1 I grew up in Europe and the middle east and came to the US as a teenager. Americans, as a whole, are very loud! In many countries it's considered low class to talk loudly in public, but obviously not here!

Funny. I lived in Italy as a teen and grew to love the loud, spirited conversations. I think it's why now, as an adult, I have no tolerance for quiet people. Once you get used to that outgoing, louder friendliness, you have no real use for the mealy-mouthed or judgmental types.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on the person but also on their family and the sound level they're used to. And on a larger scale it's a cultural thing as well.

Anecdotally, I live in Paris where locals have the reputation of unkind/impatient with tourists, but I think some of it is just tourists being very loud and completely oblivious to the level of noise they're generating. French people speak very softly, even in Paris, and oftentimes on the subway the only voices you'll hear will be tourists yelling at each other and disturbing the peace and quiet. In some cases the unfriendliness is just a visceral reaction to people "hurting" your ears!

Yes, Americans in general are so loud! Very embarrassing when traveling abroad...pull out my Canadian flag.

HAHAHA...old trick...no one believes you. We assume anyone who says they are Canadian are in fact, American. LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so loud. I don't really care if it annoys people.

We just moved to an open floor plan at work and I had 2 women complain about my "loudness"... I tell them to tell the survey.

Good news I am getting a promotion and an office in a few weeks and that will piss them off more than my "loudness".

My NY friends are louder.

+1

I think it's just socially awkward introverts that are bothered by it. I don't think the normal people care.

+1

And people who "pride themselves" on being such. LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so loud. I don't really care if it annoys people.

We just moved to an open floor plan at work and I had 2 women complain about my "loudness"... I tell them to tell the survey.

Good news I am getting a promotion and an office in a few weeks and that will piss them off more than my "loudness".

My NY friends are louder.

+1

I think it's just socially awkward introverts that are bothered by it. I don't think the normal people care.

+1

And people who "pride themselves" on being such. LOL.

Yep. Reminds me of a particularly sad post on DCUM a couple weeks ago. She informed us that all her extroverted family members were now living in trailers, where she had come from, and that she, as an introvert, was now living the high life in DC (presumably because of her introversion).

When we informed her that there are plenty of extroverts with money, she shut up pretty quick. But it's like this self justification they have to do- they feel left out and angry and so they take it out on those who can socialize easily. Lot of pathos going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am naturally loud. I grew up in a household where multiple people spoke at once and you were often involved in 3-4 conversations at once with different people. Yes, I know that I am loud and have been shushed regularly. The problem is that this is my default and I have to concentrate literally constantly to modulate my voice quieter so that it stays quieter. Otherwise, I'll be quieter for a few sentences and as my mind passes on to other things, including the conversation, then my voice goes back to loud. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is.

Conversely, there are a lot of timid and quieter speakers that I know that speak so softly and then get frustrated when people don't notice or hear them speaking, or don't think the person is talking to them. So, they are asked to speak up/louder and they'll do so for a few sentences and then go quieter again and have to be reminded to speak up or be ignored. These people are especially annoying on telecons or just regular phone conversations where you can't hear them over the phone. It works both ways. And frankly, I find the quiet speakers to be more annoying, but I try to be accommodating to both loud and quiet speakers where possible and to accept the fact that some people speak louder, some speak softer and try to work with each person to communicate.

You sound insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ADHD

STFU. must everything have a medical cause to it? or be part of a mental disorder?

DH is a very loud talker, he grew up in a very loud house where he had to be loud to be heard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on the person but also on their family and the sound level they're used to. And on a larger scale it's a cultural thing as well.

Anecdotally, I live in Paris where locals have the reputation of unkind/impatient with tourists, but I think some of it is just tourists being very loud and completely oblivious to the level of noise they're generating. French people speak very softly, even in Paris, and oftentimes on the subway the only voices you'll hear will be tourists yelling at each other and disturbing the peace and quiet. In some cases the unfriendliness is just a visceral reaction to people "hurting" your ears!

Yes, Americans in general are so loud! Very embarrassing when traveling abroad...pull out my Canadian flag.

I grew up in Canada. Moved here as an adult. I'm one of the PPs who said that my husband's been complaining about my loudness for 20 years. My whole (Canadian) family is loud. So that blows your theory

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on the person but also on their family and the sound level they're used to. And on a larger scale it's a cultural thing as well.

Anecdotally, I live in Paris where locals have the reputation of unkind/impatient with tourists, but I think some of it is just tourists being very loud and completely oblivious to the level of noise they're generating. French people speak very softly, even in Paris, and oftentimes on the subway the only voices you'll hear will be tourists yelling at each other and disturbing the peace and quiet. In some cases the unfriendliness is just a visceral reaction to people "hurting" your ears!

+1 I grew up in Europe and the middle east and came to the US as a teenager. Americans, as a whole, are very loud! In many countries it's considered low class to talk loudly in public, but obviously not here!

Funny. I lived in Italy as a teen and grew to love the loud, spirited conversations. I think it's why now, as an adult, I have no tolerance for quiet people. Once you get used to that outgoing, louder friendliness, you have no real use for the mealy-mouthed or judgmental types.

This post is interesting to me. I'm a socially able introvert who hates some, but not all, loud noises and talkers, and I'm on the metro 1.5 hours a day, so I have a lot of time to observe people's social dynamics. I don't at all mind it if people are having a lively, laughing conversation like the poster above describes, no matter what the volume. I'll eavesdrop or ignore depending on my mood and the subject matter. But there is a common type of metro rider that I absolutely loathe--the sort who is standing or sitting inches away from someone else and droning on and on about themselves at a volume that would be suitable if their victim were 30 feet away. Makes me want to commit homicide. I could never work in an open floor plan set up with people like that. All of you who are forced to have my sympathy.