DD does not want to go to classmate's bday party because 'it looks lame'

[Anonymous]

My kids would love to eat at McDs, they don't often get the chance

Plus the library is a haven for them, so they wouldn't think it lame at all.

Your child must have learned from SOMEWHERE that these things are not uppercrust. From you? From her friends? Not very nice of her. If you have no other reason to send your regrets, I think you could try persuading her to attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this is a lower income child reaching our for friends I would have a serious discussion with my kid about being kind.
If thats not the case I would not make them go if they didnt want to.

I agree with this too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it a strange party. How do you do a scavenger hunt at a library and keep kids quiet? Not everyone likes McDonalds - we only eat breakfast there. I would encourage her to go, but I wouldn't force it.

OP, this is an example of who your DD will be when she becomes an adult unless you teach her manners and kindness...and resiliency!

From the sounds of it, the parents are probably on a tight budget and they want to keep costs under control which I totally respect.

Back when we were kids, as a 3rd grader I would have thought this was a cool idea for a party.

Its not good manners to bring a group of kids to a library for a scavenger hunt. Its a quiet place, not a place for kids to run around. And, if the parent are on a tight budget McDonalds is not very cheap. It isn't rude, if a child is a vegetarian. The only thing my child could eat is a salad or pancakes and not all parents would buy a different meal or be ok with mine buying something different. The major food items, including potato items are meat or have meat byproducts.

There's a few incorrect assumptions in your post. First of all, most libraries have group meeting rooms. I'd assume that this parent rented one of the rooms -- not that she's going to have a group of kids just running around the library. Second, my vegetarian daughter likes to go to McDonalds. She likes the yogurt parfait and the fruit smoothies. They stopped using meat fat in the fries back in the 1980s -- my friends that were vegetarian in middle school were really psyched about that.

I'm siding with the posters that said that because this is a kid that's new to school, I would DEFINITELY encourage my daughter to attend, and to go with a good attitude. Frankly, she sounds a little snobby to be an 8 year old turning her nose up at McDonalds. I'm snobby about McDonald's, but my 8 year old sure isn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it a strange party. How do you do a scavenger hunt at a library and keep kids quiet? Not everyone likes McDonalds - we only eat breakfast there. I would encourage her to go, but I wouldn't force it.

OP, this is an example of who your DD will be when she becomes an adult unless you teach her manners and kindness...and resiliency!

From the sounds of it, the parents are probably on a tight budget and they want to keep costs under control which I totally respect.

Back when we were kids, as a 3rd grader I would have thought this was a cool idea for a party.

Its not good manners to bring a group of kids to a library for a scavenger hunt. Its a quiet place, not a place for kids to run around. And, if the parent are on a tight budget McDonalds is not very cheap. It isn't rude, if a child is a vegetarian. The only thing my child could eat is a salad or pancakes and not all parents would buy a different meal or be ok with mine buying something different. The major food items, including potato items are meat or have meat byproducts.

There's a few incorrect assumptions in your post. First of all, most libraries have group meeting rooms. I'd assume that this parent rented one of the rooms -- not that she's going to have a group of kids just running around the library. Second, my vegetarian daughter likes to go to McDonalds. She likes the yogurt parfait and the fruit smoothies. They stopped using meat fat in the fries back in the 1980s -- my friends that were vegetarian in middle school were really psyched about that.

I'm siding with the posters that said that because this is a kid that's new to school, I would DEFINITELY encourage my daughter to attend, and to go with a good attitude. Frankly, she sounds a little snobby to be an 8 year old turning her nose up at McDonalds. I'm snobby about McDonald's, but my 8 year old sure isn't.

The French fries still contain beef, FYI.

https://www.mcdonalds.com/us/en-us/about-our-food/our-food-your-questions.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That party actually does sound lame.

That's what I was thinking

I supposed your 3rd grader had unicorn rides and a live performance by Taylor Swift?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That party actually does sound lame.

That's what I was thinking

I supposed your 3rd grader had unicorn rides and a live performance by Taylor Swift?

I know. God forbid her daughter would step for inside the library, with all the plebes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it a strange party. How do you do a scavenger hunt at a library and keep kids quiet? Not everyone likes McDonalds - we only eat breakfast there. I would encourage her to go, but I wouldn't force it.

OP, this is an example of who your DD will be when she becomes an adult unless you teach her manners and kindness...and resiliency!

From the sounds of it, the parents are probably on a tight budget and they want to keep costs under control which I totally respect.

Back when we were kids, as a 3rd grader I would have thought this was a cool idea for a party.

Its not good manners to bring a group of kids to a library for a scavenger hunt. Its a quiet place, not a place for kids to run around. And, if the parent are on a tight budget McDonalds is not very cheap. It isn't rude, if a child is a vegetarian. The only thing my child could eat is a salad or pancakes and not all parents would buy a different meal or be ok with mine buying something different. The major food items, including potato items are meat or have meat byproducts.

There's a few incorrect assumptions in your post. First of all, most libraries have group meeting rooms. I'd assume that this parent rented one of the rooms -- not that she's going to have a group of kids just running around the library. Second, my vegetarian daughter likes to go to McDonalds. She likes the yogurt parfait and the fruit smoothies. They stopped using meat fat in the fries back in the 1980s -- my friends that were vegetarian in middle school were really psyched about that.

I'm siding with the posters that said that because this is a kid that's new to school, I would DEFINITELY encourage my daughter to attend, and to go with a good attitude. Frankly, she sounds a little snobby to be an 8 year old turning her nose up at McDonalds. I'm snobby about McDonald's, but my 8 year old sure isn't.

The French fries still contain beef, FYI.

https://www.mcdonalds.com/us/en-us/about-our-food/our-food-your-questions.html

You are totally right -- thank you for correcting me. McDonalds DID announce they were getting rid of the beef fat in the oil back when I was in my teens, but it turns out that they still flavored the oil with "beef essence" and got sued in 2008 for failing to disclose that -- so they now do disclose it on their website. (I can't believe I forgot that!) It's a little unclear what this "beef essence" is, though, and whether it's actually meat...WIRED magazine described it as hydrolyzed meat and milk proteins, so it's possible that it's a vegetarian but not vegan flavoring? I recently ate some bacon flavored corn chips that I was surprised to find contained NO MEAT at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it a strange party. How do you do a scavenger hunt at a library and keep kids quiet? Not everyone likes McDonalds - we only eat breakfast there. I would encourage her to go, but I wouldn't force it.

OP, this is an example of who your DD will be when she becomes an adult unless you teach her manners and kindness...and resiliency!

From the sounds of it, the parents are probably on a tight budget and they want to keep costs under control which I totally respect.

Back when we were kids, as a 3rd grader I would have thought this was a cool idea for a party.

Its not good manners to bring a group of kids to a library for a scavenger hunt. Its a quiet place, not a place for kids to run around. And, if the parent are on a tight budget McDonalds is not very cheap. It isn't rude, if a child is a vegetarian. The only thing my child could eat is a salad or pancakes and not all parents would buy a different meal or be ok with mine buying something different. The major food items, including potato items are meat or have meat byproducts.

There's a few incorrect assumptions in your post. First of all, most libraries have group meeting rooms. I'd assume that this parent rented one of the rooms -- not that she's going to have a group of kids just running around the library. Second, my vegetarian daughter likes to go to McDonalds. She likes the yogurt parfait and the fruit smoothies. They stopped using meat fat in the fries back in the 1980s -- my friends that were vegetarian in middle school were really psyched about that.

I'm siding with the posters that said that because this is a kid that's new to school, I would DEFINITELY encourage my daughter to attend, and to go with a good attitude. Frankly, she sounds a little snobby to be an 8 year old turning her nose up at McDonalds. I'm snobby about McDonald's, but my 8 year old sure isn't.

The French fries still contain beef, FYI.

https://www.mcdonalds.com/us/en-us/about-our-food/our-food-your-questions.html

You are totally right -- thank you for correcting me. McDonalds DID announce they were getting rid of the beef fat in the oil back when I was in my teens, but it turns out that they still flavored the oil with "beef essence" and got sued in 2008 for failing to disclose that -- so they now do disclose it on their website. (I can't believe I forgot that!) It's a little unclear what this "beef essence" is, though, and whether it's actually meat...WIRED magazine described it as hydrolyzed meat and milk proteins, so it's possible that it's a vegetarian but not vegan flavoring? I recently ate some bacon flavored corn chips that I was surprised to find contained NO MEAT at all.

The hash browns are also an issue. Its not about being a snob. You may be more flexible vegetarian, which then isn't really vegetarian but my child insists on being a strict vegetarian which I support. Its beef flavoring and its on their website. In other countries the fries are vegetarian but not here.

Also, McDonalds is not particularly cheap. It may not be budget but child or parent preference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it a strange party. How do you do a scavenger hunt at a library and keep kids quiet? Not everyone likes McDonalds - we only eat breakfast there. I would encourage her to go, but I wouldn't force it.

OP, this is an example of who your DD will be when she becomes an adult unless you teach her manners and kindness...and resiliency!

From the sounds of it, the parents are probably on a tight budget and they want to keep costs under control which I totally respect.

Back when we were kids, as a 3rd grader I would have thought this was a cool idea for a party.

Its not good manners to bring a group of kids to a library for a scavenger hunt. Its a quiet place, not a place for kids to run around. And, if the parent are on a tight budget McDonalds is not very cheap. It isn't rude, if a child is a vegetarian. The only thing my child could eat is a salad or pancakes and not all parents would buy a different meal or be ok with mine buying something different. The major food items, including potato items are meat or have meat byproducts.

There's a few incorrect assumptions in your post. First of all, most libraries have group meeting rooms. I'd assume that this parent rented one of the rooms -- not that she's going to have a group of kids just running around the library. Second, my vegetarian daughter likes to go to McDonalds. She likes the yogurt parfait and the fruit smoothies. They stopped using meat fat in the fries back in the 1980s -- my friends that were vegetarian in middle school were really psyched about that.

I'm siding with the posters that said that because this is a kid that's new to school, I would DEFINITELY encourage my daughter to attend, and to go with a good attitude. Frankly, she sounds a little snobby to be an 8 year old turning her nose up at McDonalds. I'm snobby about McDonald's, but my 8 year old sure isn't.

The French fries still contain beef, FYI.

https://www.mcdonalds.com/us/en-us/about-our-food/our-food-your-questions.html

You are totally right -- thank you for correcting me. McDonalds DID announce they were getting rid of the beef fat in the oil back when I was in my teens, but it turns out that they still flavored the oil with "beef essence" and got sued in 2008 for failing to disclose that -- so they now do disclose it on their website. (I can't believe I forgot that!) It's a little unclear what this "beef essence" is, though, and whether it's actually meat...WIRED magazine described it as hydrolyzed meat and milk proteins, so it's possible that it's a vegetarian but not vegan flavoring? I recently ate some bacon flavored corn chips that I was surprised to find contained NO MEAT at all.

The hash browns are also an issue. Its not about being a snob. You may be more flexible vegetarian, which then isn't really vegetarian but my child insists on being a strict vegetarian which I support. Its beef flavoring and its on their website. In other countries the fries are vegetarian but not here.

Also, McDonalds is not particularly cheap. It may not be budget but child or parent preference.

Why do you keep beating this dead house and diverting the thread? That's not at all OP's daughter's issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That party actually does sound lame.

Yes!!!
I mean, we as grown ups don't say that, but that's what most of us think!

I disagree. It's better than yet another freaking trampoline place party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it a strange party. How do you do a scavenger hunt at a library and keep kids quiet? Not everyone likes McDonalds - we only eat breakfast there. I would encourage her to go, but I wouldn't force it.

OP, this is an example of who your DD will be when she becomes an adult unless you teach her manners and kindness...and resiliency!

From the sounds of it, the parents are probably on a tight budget and they want to keep costs under control which I totally respect.

Back when we were kids, as a 3rd grader I would have thought this was a cool idea for a party.

Its not good manners to bring a group of kids to a library for a scavenger hunt. Its a quiet place, not a place for kids to run around. And, if the parent are on a tight budget McDonalds is not very cheap. It isn't rude, if a child is a vegetarian. The only thing my child could eat is a salad or pancakes and not all parents would buy a different meal or be ok with mine buying something different. The major food items, including potato items are meat or have meat byproducts.

There's a few incorrect assumptions in your post. First of all, most libraries have group meeting rooms. I'd assume that this parent rented one of the rooms -- not that she's going to have a group of kids just running around the library. Second, my vegetarian daughter likes to go to McDonalds. She likes the yogurt parfait and the fruit smoothies. They stopped using meat fat in the fries back in the 1980s -- my friends that were vegetarian in middle school were really psyched about that.

I'm siding with the posters that said that because this is a kid that's new to school, I would DEFINITELY encourage my daughter to attend, and to go with a good attitude. Frankly, she sounds a little snobby to be an 8 year old turning her nose up at McDonalds. I'm snobby about McDonald's, but my 8 year old sure isn't.

The French fries still contain beef, FYI.

https://www.mcdonalds.com/us/en-us/about-our-food/our-food-your-questions.html

You are totally right -- thank you for correcting me. McDonalds DID announce they were getting rid of the beef fat in the oil back when I was in my teens, but it turns out that they still flavored the oil with "beef essence" and got sued in 2008 for failing to disclose that -- so they now do disclose it on their website. (I can't believe I forgot that!) It's a little unclear what this "beef essence" is, though, and whether it's actually meat...WIRED magazine described it as hydrolyzed meat and milk proteins, so it's possible that it's a vegetarian but not vegan flavoring? I recently ate some bacon flavored corn chips that I was surprised to find contained NO MEAT at all.

The hash browns are also an issue. Its not about being a snob. You may be more flexible vegetarian, which then isn't really vegetarian but my child insists on being a strict vegetarian which I support. Its beef flavoring and its on their website. In other countries the fries are vegetarian but not here.

Also, McDonalds is not particularly cheap. It may not be budget but child or parent preference.

THIS IS NOT A THREAD ABOUT VEGETARIANISM GO AWAY

[Anonymous]

My rule when my boys were this age was that if they were invited, they were going, unless we had a legit conflict. Both of them were and still are "cool kids" and were sometimes invited by kids who were not in their friend groups to do things that did not sound terribly appealing.They would protest sometimes by saying they weren't friends with the host or the party didn't sound fun, but I always appealed to their innate kindness: what if no one goes? And, you can do anything for an hour or two.

Even as adults, while we have the right to pick and choose social activities, we all still have events occasionally that feel more like a social "obligation" and for whatever reason, we suck it up and go. Isn't this important for kids to learn? That sometimes we do things just to be kind, not because there is anything in it for us?

My boys are 16 and 14 now, and one thing I hear about them over and over is how nice they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My rule when my boys were this age was that if they were invited, they were going, unless we had a legit conflict. Both of them were and still are "cool kids" and were sometimes invited by kids who were not in their friend groups to do things that did not sound terribly appealing.They would protest sometimes by saying they weren't friends with the host or the party didn't sound fun, but I always appealed to their innate kindness: what if no one goes? And, you can do anything for an hour or two.

Even as adults, while we have the right to pick and choose social activities, we all still have events occasionally that feel more like a social "obligation" and for whatever reason, we suck it up and go. Isn't this important for kids to learn? That sometimes we do things just to be kind, not because there is anything in it for us?

My boys are 16 and 14 now, and one thing I hear about them over and over is how nice they are.

This is our attitude, too. Teaching inclusion and kindness is especially important when the peer pressure starts tilting towards exclusion and meanness. And that kind of peer pressure now seems to start as early as kindergarten.

Parents who say things like, "Well, I'm not going to make my child go to the birthday party of a kid who they don't spend time with" -- these are the parents who reinforce mean girl and mean boy behavior -- wittingly or not. I will say not wanting to go to X and Y's part just doesn't seem to come up as much with the boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since the girl is new, I'd have my daughter go. I'd talk about being polite and gracious, and also keeping an open mind about new experiences. I'd point out that different people have different ideas, and that it's up to your daughter to find whatever fun is to be had.

I agree

+1

[Anonymous]

NP, I'm an outlier but I looked up library scavenger hunts and TBH, it looks like fun...kids get a scavenger sheet -- find the teen book section, find a Caldecott Award book, introduce yourself to the librarian, find the computer and look something up, etc.

only other advice is to give advance notice to the library (this is not a librarian run activity) and remind the kids / teams to keep their inside voices so as not to disturb other patrons.

As for Mickey D's just let it go...the parents are doing the best they can. You don't always know someone else's situation so don't judge.