DH's middle school ex

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I like this woman. We were becoming friends. SIL told her I hated her and it all became awkward. Goal? Make it less awkward and possibly repair a friendship. I do have to see this person multiple times a year and would love for it to not be awkward.

Way to attain goal? Communicate directly with Sherry (the name I've decided to give your husband's "girlfriend" from middle school). Clear the air. "Sherry, I know things have been weirdly tense because SIL thinks that you and I don't get along. I think you're cool and am looking forward to seeing you at Christmas. We get in on the 22nd. Wanna get coffee or cocktails on the 23rd?"

I also don't understand why SIL is bringing Sherry to family events. Is it possible that THEY are in a relationship? Is it common in your H's family to bring non-relatives to small family get togethers?

SIL is married and has a kid. In all the time I've been with DH(10 years) never has anyone besides immediate family and ine aunt been at Christmas.

Does Sherry have a family of her own? Why is she spending holidays with your family and not hers?

They celebrate early because her mother goes to see her other daughter on the actual day of.

Sherry isn't married? No kids of her own?

She's a single mom. Has a son my nephews age. At some point this ex was dating another one of SIL's relatives. She's also had a fling with DH's cousin.

Who cares who Sherry has or hasn't dated? Why are you dwelling on that? You seem far more threatened by her than you should be.

I'm just saying that it's no longer JUST SIL's friend. She's become a family friend of most of the family.

The family loves this woman. That means when you get together with the family you must be polite to her. It is really that simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like this woman. We were becoming friends. SIL told her I hated her and it all became awkward. Goal? Make it less awkward and possibly repair a friendship. I do have to see this person multiple times a year and would love for it to not be awkward.

Way to attain goal? Communicate directly with Sherry (the name I've decided to give your husband's "girlfriend" from middle school). Clear the air. "Sherry, I know things have been weirdly tense because SIL thinks that you and I don't get along. I think you're cool and am looking forward to seeing you at Christmas. We get in on the 22nd. Wanna get coffee or cocktails on the 23rd?"

I also don't understand why SIL is bringing Sherry to family events. Is it possible that THEY are in a relationship? Is it common in your H's family to bring non-relatives to small family get togethers?

SIL is married and has a kid. In all the time I've been with DH(10 years) never has anyone besides immediate family and ine aunt been at Christmas.

Does Sherry have a family of her own? Why is she spending holidays with your family and not hers?

They celebrate early because her mother goes to see her other daughter on the actual day of.

Sherry isn't married? No kids of her own?

She's a single mom. Has a son my nephews age. At some point this ex was dating another one of SIL's relatives. She's also had a fling with DH's cousin.

Is your husband from a small town? It sounds like he is. In which case, this all makes sense. Middle school events are very present for grown adults. Lots of intermingling in the dating pool. Drama-rama.

My advice stands. Get in touch with Sherry. Tell her that you're sorry about the weird awkwardness from SIL, that you think she's awesome and look forward to seeing her. Then let it go. If SIL makes an awkward scene, you could make an announcement saying, "Hi everyone, Sherry and I are fine. Please stop being weird" but that is not likely to de-escalate the drama.

Yes, DH is from a tiny gossipy town. I however am not. This is all so strange to me.

Yeah, it's pretty clear that you're out of your depth. Smooth things over with Sherry, and be normal. Just ignore it.

She can't smooth things over with Sherry by making SIL look like a sh*t stirrer. SIL probably is, in fact, a sh*t stirrer - doesn't matter - SIL is the one who is Sherry's old friend. This is SIL's family and they will take her side over Op's side -guaranteed.

It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

I didn't even read your whole post. Who cares??? Seriously it was midddle school. Are you all in high school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't even read your whole post. Who cares??? Seriously it was midddle school. Are you all in high school?

If you don't think that some adults use middle school tactics to press buttons in other adults...you would be wrong.

[Anonymous]

Are you still in middle school?

[Anonymous]

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SIL and DH's Ex

lionguard
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lionguard · Original Poster
Posted 1 min ago
I finally just called my MIL. We have a great relationship so I thought it best to just call. I said "hey, I'm budgeting Christmas. I don't mind if EX comes and you know I adore C. I just want to make sure no one is left out presents wise" MIL shocked me to say the least. She said this year is immediate family only and if SIL wants to keep up her shit she can stay home. She said SIL lied last year and said that before inviting anyone else to the celebration she checked with me and DH first. She told MIL that the reason she was inviting EX was because EX's parents were mean to EX and her son and got presents for her nephew but not her son. She found out SIL lied when talking to EX. EX was telling her that her mom was paying all of her bills(rent, phone, electric, etc) so they only got her son a few small things while her nephew gota bit more. Then she went on to say that if EX was actually lovely she wouldn't show up to a family gathering that wasnt her own knowing that I would be made uncomfortable. I cried. Im so relieved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you still in middle school?

No. Which is why I have advised Op to not play into the drama.

If somebody brings up the text, I would act like it's no big deal and say "Oh, that was a miscommunication, forget it." That's all.

[Anonymous]

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lionguard · Original Poster
Posted 1 min ago
I finally just called my MIL. We have a great relationship so I thought it best to just call. I said "hey, I'm budgeting Christmas. I don't mind if EX comes and you know I adore C. I just want to make sure no one is left out presents wise" MIL shocked me to say the least. She said this year is immediate family only and if SIL wants to keep up her shit she can stay home. She said SIL lied last year and said that before inviting anyone else to the celebration she checked with me and DH first. She told MIL that the reason she was inviting EX was because EX's parents were mean to EX and her son and got presents for her nephew but not her son. She found out SIL lied when talking to EX. EX was telling her that her mom was paying all of her bills(rent, phone, electric, etc) so they only got her son a few small things while her nephew gota bit more. Then she went on to say that if EX was actually lovely she wouldn't show up to a family gathering that wasnt her own knowing that I would be made uncomfortable. I cried. Im so relieved.

Sorry, didn't mean to copy so much of my other post.

[Anonymous]

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SIL and DH's Ex

lionguard
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lionguard · Original Poster
Posted 1 min ago
I finally just called my MIL. We have a great relationship so I thought it best to just call. I said "hey, I'm budgeting Christmas. I don't mind if EX comes and you know I adore C. I just want to make sure no one is left out presents wise" MIL shocked me to say the least. She said this year is immediate family only and if SIL wants to keep up her shit she can stay home. She said SIL lied last year and said that before inviting anyone else to the celebration she checked with me and DH first. She told MIL that the reason she was inviting EX was because EX's parents were mean to EX and her son and got presents for her nephew but not her son. She found out SIL lied when talking to EX. EX was telling her that her mom was paying all of her bills(rent, phone, electric, etc) so they only got her son a few small things while her nephew gota bit more. Then she went on to say that if EX was actually lovely she wouldn't show up to a family gathering that wasnt her own knowing that I would be made uncomfortable. I cried. Im so relieved.

Awesome that it worked out! Your MIL sounds great. Now it's time for SIL to grow up (hopefully!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I finally just called my MIL. We have a great relationship so I thought it best to just call. I said "hey, I'm budgeting Christmas. I don't mind if EX comes and you know I adore C. I just want to make sure no one is left out presents wise" MIL shocked me to say the least. She said this year is immediate family only and if SIL wants to keep up her shit she can stay home. She said SIL lied last year and said that before inviting anyone else to the celebration she checked with me and DH first. She told MIL that the reason she was inviting EX was because EX's parents were mean to EX and her son and got presents for her nephew but not her son. She found out SIL lied when talking to EX. EX was telling her that her mom was paying all of her bills(rent, phone, electric, etc) so they only got her son a few small things while her nephew gota bit more. Then she went on to say that if EX was actually lovely she wouldn't show up to a family gathering that wasnt her own knowing that I would be made uncomfortable. I cried. Im so relieved.

Why'd you cry?

Sounds like you married into an interesting *cough* family, OP.

Glad you called MIL. That's the first step to working it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I finally just called my MIL. We have a great relationship so I thought it best to just call. I said "hey, I'm budgeting Christmas. I don't mind if EX comes and you know I adore C. I just want to make sure no one is left out presents wise" MIL shocked me to say the least. She said this year is immediate family only and if SIL wants to keep up her shit she can stay home. She said SIL lied last year and said that before inviting anyone else to the celebration she checked with me and DH first. She told MIL that the reason she was inviting EX was because EX's parents were mean to EX and her son and got presents for her nephew but not her son. She found out SIL lied when talking to EX. EX was telling her that her mom was paying all of her bills(rent, phone, electric, etc) so they only got her son a few small things while her nephew gota bit more. Then she went on to say that if EX was actually lovely she wouldn't show up to a family gathering that wasnt her own knowing that I would be made uncomfortable. I cried. Im so relieved.

Why'd you cry?

Sounds like you married into an interesting *cough* family, OP.

Glad you called MIL. That's the first step to working it out.

I was just so worried MIL would be annoyed with me for some reason. I assumed she would automatically be team SIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I finally just called my MIL. We have a great relationship so I thought it best to just call. I said "hey, I'm budgeting Christmas. I don't mind if EX comes and you know I adore C. I just want to make sure no one is left out presents wise" MIL shocked me to say the least. She said this year is immediate family only and if SIL wants to keep up her shit she can stay home. She said SIL lied last year and said that before inviting anyone else to the celebration she checked with me and DH first. She told MIL that the reason she was inviting EX was because EX's parents were mean to EX and her son and got presents for her nephew but not her son. She found out SIL lied when talking to EX. EX was telling her that her mom was paying all of her bills(rent, phone, electric, etc) so they only got her son a few small things while her nephew gota bit more. Then she went on to say that if EX was actually lovely she wouldn't show up to a family gathering that wasnt her own knowing that I would be made uncomfortable. I cried. Im so relieved.

Why'd you cry?

Sounds like you married into an interesting *cough* family, OP.

Glad you called MIL. That's the first step to working it out.

She cried because it's a relief to not be ganged up on! Her MIL stuck up for Op. Yay!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


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From DWIL Nation

SIL and DH's Ex

lionguard
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lionguard · Original Poster
Posted 1 min ago
I finally just called my MIL. We have a great relationship so I thought it best to just call. I said "hey, I'm budgeting Christmas. I don't mind if EX comes and you know I adore C. I just want to make sure no one is left out presents wise" MIL shocked me to say the least. She said this year is immediate family only and if SIL wants to keep up her shit she can stay home. She said SIL lied last year and said that before inviting anyone else to the celebration she checked with me and DH first. She told MIL that the reason she was inviting EX was because EX's parents were mean to EX and her son and got presents for her nephew but not her son. She found out SIL lied when talking to EX. EX was telling her that her mom was paying all of her bills(rent, phone, electric, etc) so they only got her son a few small things while her nephew gota bit more. Then she went on to say that if EX was actually lovely she wouldn't show up to a family gathering that wasnt her own knowing that I would be made uncomfortable. I cried. Im so relieved.

You have issues. Seek medication

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


4
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From DWIL Nation

SIL and DH's Ex

lionguard
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Comments (21)

/ 3


lionguard · Original Poster
Posted 1 min ago
I finally just called my MIL. We have a great relationship so I thought it best to just call. I said "hey, I'm budgeting Christmas. I don't mind if EX comes and you know I adore C. I just want to make sure no one is left out presents wise" MIL shocked me to say the least. She said this year is immediate family only and if SIL wants to keep up her shit she can stay home. She said SIL lied last year and said that before inviting anyone else to the celebration she checked with me and DH first. She told MIL that the reason she was inviting EX was because EX's parents were mean to EX and her son and got presents for her nephew but not her son. She found out SIL lied when talking to EX. EX was telling her that her mom was paying all of her bills(rent, phone, electric, etc) so they only got her son a few small things while her nephew gota bit more. Then she went on to say that if EX was actually lovely she wouldn't show up to a family gathering that wasnt her own knowing that I would be made uncomfortable. I cried. Im so relieved.

You have issues. Seek medication

Wow, that isn't very nice. It sounds as though the one causing the drama has been called out for it. That is a GOOD thing!

[Anonymous]

How old exactly was DH when they dated?
Did they have sex?